My Paradise
by SomedayWe'llKnow
Summary: Third installment from Sticks and Stones. Occurs several years after Broken Picture Frame. If you haven't read those, you'll want to before starting this one.
1. Good Morning Beautiful

**I own no part of SON**

**Peace and love to you all!**

Two tiny hands poking my cheeks cause me to open my eyes slowly. When my eyes finally focus I find myself staring into brown eyes I love.

"Momma says you gotta get up, or else."

My daughter's brown curly hair is sticking up and traces of sleepiness are still lingering around her eyes. I smile at my little girl and pull her down to cuddle next to me.

"Well maybe I don't want to get up. What's she gonna do? I'm not afraid of her!"

The tiny creature next to me gasps and looks at me with wide, scared eyes.

"You should be! Momma gives the hardest spankings!"

I bite my lip to hold back my laughter at her reaction.

"SPENCER GET UP AND WHERE IS RIPLEY?"

Ripley dives under my blankets right as my beautiful wife barges into our room.

"Whoa honey I am getting up and uh I have no idea where your daughter is."

Ashley looks at me disbelievingly and I can feel myself starting to crumble.

"Spencer."

My name comes out like a growl from her perfect mouth and I point to the space next to me. Ashley's face softens at the shaking lump next to me and launches herself at Ripley.

"NOOOO Momma don't tickle!"

Ashley's tickling drives the little girl from our bed and sends her running in the direction of her room. Ashley continues to lie in our bed trying to catch her breath.

"Seriously Spence you need to get up. We gotta be at the school in an hour and we still have to feed Rip, dress her, and drop her off at her school."

I smile warmly at her and lean down, pressing my lips to hers. I smile into the kiss when I feel Ashley's arms snake around my neck trying to pull me closer.

"MOMMY! HEIDI POTTIED ON THE FLOOR AGAIN!"

I groan and roll off of Ash. She gives me a quick kiss and gets off the bed.

"Spence you take care of the dog and I'll start breakfast."

I watch her hop off the bed and leave our room. I slip on sweat pants and go in search of our miniature dachshund, Heidi. I find her cowering behind the sofa in the living room and I put her outside before I clean up the immense amount of pee on the hallway floor. I jog upstairs to get dressed for work.

Those two years I spent away from Ashley I had gotten my degree and now I'm a counselor at Bradley College. After Ashley had Ripley she decided she wanted to go back to school so now she's in her senior year at Bradley. So basically things are a little hectic right now. We really rely heavily on Becky and Kyla to help us with Ripley.

Screams from downstairs cause me to run back down with my socks in my mouth and my heels dangling from my hands.

The socks stifle my laugh from the scene before me. Ripley is shirtless running from Heidi while Ashley trails behind them.

"RIPLEY JO IF YOU DON'T GIVE THAT TO ME RIGHT NOW…"

At Ashley's threat Ripley just runs faster and screams louder, sending Heidi into a fit of barking. As they rush past me I scoop a still screaming Ripley into my arms and Ashley comes to a screeching halt in front of me.

"Rip what do you have of your Momma's?"

Instead of Ripley answering my question Ashley does.

"She has my flash drive Spence and my final paper is on it. It's kinda important!"

This morning I get to be the peace keeper but I guarantee our roles will all be different tomorrow morning.

"Ashley quit whining and Rip give your Momma her computer thing back."

Ripley gives me the best puppy eyes in her three and a half year existence.

"But it's my necklace."

I look my daughter straight in the eyes praying to be strong enough not to give in to her pleading looks.

"Give it to your Momma now, I won't tell you again."

Her tiny brown saucers well up with tears as she hands Ashley her flash drive with shaky hands.

"Good girl."

I give her a kiss and Ashley sends her to finish getting dressed.

"Did I ever tell you how hot you are when you are authoritative?"

Ashley's eyes twinkle as she questions me and my stomach does a flip flop. Even after almost six years together she still has this effect over me.

"Oh really?"

I wiggle my eyebrows suggestively but Ashley just laughs as she pecks my cheek.

"We don't have time maybe later."

I watch her walk to the kitchen still clad in her booty shorts she wears to bed. I'm amazed at how fast Ashley bounced back from the pregnancy. When we had decided to have a child I was originally going to carry the child but after intense testing we found out that I was unable to have children. Ashley had been quick to step in.

We used an anonymous sperm donor to get Ash pregnant and we'd been ecstatic when we found out we were having a girl. As the months had worn on and Ashley had gotten bigger I'd never seen her so sexy. I was amazed that I could be even more attracted to her but her being pregnant did the trick.

I'm not saying it was an easy time, Ashley being pregnant and all. There was the horrible morning sickness, the rather intense mood swings that always ended badly for me, and her abnormal cravings in the late nights and early mornings. All of which caused both of us problems.

But all of that was forgotten when Ripley was born.

The loud scratching at the back door catches my attention and I let Heidi back into the house. Our little wiener dog looks at me with disgust for making her wait and prances upstairs to find Ashley's mini me. For some reason that dog loves that little girl to death.

I stroll into the kitchen to find Ashley working furiously to make us some scrambled eggs. I grab her from behind and kiss her neck.

"Let me finish. You go get dressed."

She lets out a sigh before nodding gratefully.

"Thanks Spence."

I finish breakfast and feed Ripley while Ash gets dressed. We now only have fifteen minutes before we both have to be at school.

"Shit."

I mutter under my breath as I glance at the clock. Ripley looks at me with questioning eyes.

"Mommy what does shit mean?"

I stare at her with wide eyes. What do I say to her?

"Uh baby it's a bad word, don't repeat it, ok? Especially to Momma."

She nods her head slowly and I grab her out of her seat. Ashley bounds down the stairs with all her books.

"So which one of us is going to be late today?"

I laugh at my wife's question and raise my hand.

"My turn babe, you go on ahead."

She kisses me quickly then rushes out the door. I grab Rip's bag and my briefcase then stride out the door with my little girl in tow.

As we drive to her preschool I give her instructions one more time.

"Now baby don't forget Aunt Kyla is picking you and Emma up together. Then you are spending the rest of the day with them until your Momma gets out of class. She'll pick you up and bring you back home."

Ok so I'm a little nervous, it is my baby girl's first day of preschool after all.

I stop the car out side the building and walk Ripley to her classroom.

"Mommy I'm going to be just fine."

She gives me a hug then waltzes into the classroom like she owns the place. She gets her sense of confidence from Ashley.

I glance at my watch again and curse inwardly, I'm going to be almost thirty minutes late, again.

I burst through the counseling center doors exactly thirty minutes after I'm supposed to arrive.

"Hey Eric."

I greet my secretary and ask for my messages and appointment updates.

"Hey Spencer. Hunny you look fab today."

I grin at my overly gay friend and walk into my office. The background picture of the three of us on my computer causes me to instantly miss my family.

I spend the day talking to various college students and anxiously await my lunch break. Every day at noon Ashley comes and has lunch with me.

Right at twelve there is a shy knock at my door followed by the arrival of my sexy wife.

"Hey gorgeous."

This is how she greets me every time and every time it causes me to grin.

"Hey baby, I've missed you all day."

For my confession I'm rewarded with her trademark nose crinkling smile.

After lunch Ashley has more class and I have more appointments. When a break finally rolls around I grab my phone and dial a familiar number. It rings three times before she picks up.

"Spence! I was just about to call you. What's up lover?"

I laugh at Becky's greeting and sit back in my chair, resting my feet up on my desk.

"How do you feel about a gathering at our place on Saturday? It'll include Glen, Kyla, and their girls too."

I feel bad mentioning kids around Becks because I know right now her and Christian are trying to get pregnant. She never lets it show that it bothers her that she doesn't have kids yet.

"Hell yeah we'll be there. Oh shit gotta go my boss is coming."

She hangs up abruptly and I roll my eyes. This is what my life has become; pure and utter chaos and I love every minute of it.

**I really, really enjoyed writing this. Lemme know what you guys think! Thanks to you all.**


	2. All I Ever Wanted

**I own no part of SON**

**Peace and love to you all!**

Oh thank God it's Friday. I know this phrase gets tossed around carelessly by all sorts of people but I truly mean it. I've been swamped at the college all week and my two most troubling cases have been on edge for the past week. To add even more stress Ashley has been working on some big project so she hasn't been home a lot. This has left me to take care of Ripley on my own. Things have just been difficult this week.

It's nine o' clock and I'm finally lowering myself into our Jacuzzi tub full of steaming hot water. Ripley is fast asleep and Ashley has been at the library all day. I groan as the water surrounds my tired muscles. The lilac smell from the almost ten candles burning starts to lull me into an almost trance like state.

I hear the front door open, then quiet steps up the stores, and finally the bathroom door creaking open. I don't open my eyes as I feel her sit on the edge of the tub behind me. I lean my head back into her lap and she runs her fingers through my hair.

"Hey baby."

She sounds tired and beaten down. I open my eyes and turn so I can look her in the eyes. She looks even more tired than she sounds.

I run my hands up and down her lower legs that have been exposed from her rolling up her jeans.

"Hey Ash."

She leans down and gives me a sweet kiss before starting to massage my shoulders. I let out a deep sigh and feel goose bumps erupt across my body.

"I'm sorry I've been so busy Spence. How's your week been?"

She kneads my neck deeper and I feel my muscles starting to loosen.

"It's been busy, crazy, and I've missed you."

Her hands still and I feel her lips against my bare shoulder.

"Oh Spencer I've missed you too. How's Eric? Was Ripley good this week? God I miss her too."

So sounds so sad that I slide to the other side of the tub and grab her hands pulling her into the tub with me. She lets out a shriek as her fully clothed body splashes into the tub.

"SPENCE! You're crazy."

She lets out a husky laugh as I grin at her. I climb into her lap and give her a deep kiss, loving how her hands feel sliding down my bare back.

"Ok now that we're more comfortable I think I can answer you're questions."

She smiles and grabs the sponge starting to wash my body.

"Ok well Eric is good. Apparently he has a new boy toy so I've invented them over for our little get together tomorrow. Rip has been pretty good. She had a sore throat all day today and yesterday but your mom assures me its not strep throat."

At the mention of our little girl being sick Ashley's expression changes to one of concern.

"What she's been sick and I didn't know?"

Her face shows regret and pain. I stroke her cheek and gaze into her sad, brown eyes.

"Hey she's ok and you're almost done babe. Then you'll be spending all sorts of time with her. She knows you love her."

As I study her face I notice the slight lines that have started to appear around her eyes and the harder, more mature look in her gaze.

"I know. It's just hard right now."

I give her a sympathetic look and run my fingers through one of her auburn locks of hair.

"M-mommy! M-momma!"

Ripley's cries shatter our staring contest and Ashley rises out of the tub.

"Let me get her Spence. You finish and I'll meet you in the bedroom."

She kisses the top of my head and takes off for our daughter's room. I sigh as I step out of the tub and wrap a large towel around me. I take my time towel drying my hair, brushing my teeth, etc before I blow out the candles and trek down the hall to our master bedroom. I slip into an old t-shirt and some sweats before I crawl into our bed.

I grab my book from my bedside table and just start getting into it when I feel Ashley lie down next to me.

"She had a nightmare, but don't worry I scared away the monsters."

I can feel her grinning into my shoulder as she cuddles up next to me. I laugh as I set my book down and turn in her arms so I'm facing her.

"Kiss me."

I need to feel her and she smiles lovingly before lowering herself to kiss me. It's the first real kiss we've shared in days and my body erupts with desire. My hands grab feverishly at her clothes and when she gasps into my mouth I take full advantage as I dart my tongue into her mouth. There are mixed moans as our tongues meet, sliding over one another.

Another cry echoes through the house just as Ashley's hands have made it up my shirt.

"M-MOMMAAAA!"

Ashley quickly pulls herself away as the pitter patter of little feet grows louder. I bend over and pull Ripley into our bed.

"I-I'm s-scared."

Rip cuddles in between Ash and I her big brown eyes pleading with us to let her stay. I look at Ashley and she just shrugs. Sometimes she's useless.

"Ok Rip but remember we talked about you sleeping in your own bed."

The little girl next to me nods sleepily and her heavy eye lids droop closed. I kiss her forehead and then notice Ashley's eyes starting to droop closed too. She and Ripley look identical as they both fall asleep.

"I love you both."

I whisper softly before shutting off my light and drifting off to sleep.

XX

"Oh hey Christian I'm so glad you guys could make it!"

It's Saturday afternoon and the sun is shining high as our guests arrive for our little party.  
"Oi wouldn't miss this for the world baby girl."

He gives my cheek a quick peck before heading out back to find Glen.

"SSSPPPEENNNNCEEEE!!!!!"

Becky runs up from her car and leaps into my arms. We hug fiercely for several seconds before Becky releases me. I grin cheekily at her as we walk with linked arms into the house.

"Hey Becks, what's crack-a-lackin?"

She lets out a musical laugh as we walk onto the back deck.

"Oh nothing just spent all last night making this stupid potato salad thing for this party. Where's Ash and Ripley?"

I shrug my shoulders and grab a beer from the cooler. When I look back up Becky is gone and I see her over by the swings talking adamantly to Ripley. I smile as I watch them interact and see the adoration and a little bit of hero worship shining from my daughter's eyes.

"She'll make a great mom won't she?"

Christian reappears beside me, alcohol in hand. I nod as I watch all the girls gather around Becky. She puts Emma and Ripley on swings pushing them every now and then while she listens to Alexis. Emma is Kyla and Glen's younger girl; she's almost exactly the same age as Rip. Alexis is almost six going on thirty.

Even though I love that Ripley has someone her own age to play with I remember the horrors of having both Davies women pregnant at the same time…

_I scamper down the aisles of Wal-Mart at almost three in the morning trying to find the right kind of pickles. As I screech to a halt in front of the jars of pickles a breathless Glen appears beside me._

"_What are you doing here?"_

_He looks at me with crazed eyes before answering._

"_K-Kyla wants these special pickles and I've searched everywhere for them and I can't find them!"_

_Footsteps behind us causes us both to jump, it was an old man just passing through._

"_Yeah Ash is the same, she said something about eating them when she was younger."_

_Glen nods next to me and his bloodshot eyes indicate he hasn't had a decent night's sleep in ages, I know exactly how he feels. _

_We stand together studying the seemingly endless jars of pickles when two distinct voices causes us to cringe in fear._

"_SPENCER!"_

"_GLEN!"_

_Glen and I look at each other with wide eyes knowing there's going to be hell to pay for our delay._

"_Oh shit."_

_I mutter the words as I watch Ashley waddle towards us from one direction and Kyla from the other. They have almost identical due dates so they are both about the same size. I panic and just grab some random jar off the shelf. Glen is too terrified to do anything except stare at Kyla with wide eyes._

_Once both women have reached us it all starts._

"_Glen where are my pickles? Have you just been fucking talking you your sister? GLEN ANSWER ME!"_

_Kyla's yell is loud and high enough that I'm positive dogs are going to come running at any minute. Glen snaps out of his fear induced trance and I hear him muttering apologizes and excuses. I have to stop paying attention because Ashley has just cleared her throat clearly wanting my attention._

"_Here baby, I got your pickles!"_

_Ashley's eyes light up and I can faintly still hear Kyla swearing at Glen. When Ashley looks at the jar her whole face drops and I brace myself for her yelling. So, it takes me by surprise when big, fat tears start rolling down her face._

"_T-these a-a-aren't the r-r-r-ight o-ones."_

_I watch in horror as my wife's crying turns to full fledged sobs and then I hear it,_

"_I SWEAR TO GOD GLEN I WILL CASTRATE YOU IN YOUR SLEEP!"_

_Kyla's yelling spurs on Ashley's crying and I don't really know what to do. Glen seems to be in the same boat as Kyla just slaps his arm and starts to waddle away._

"_Uh good luck!"_

_He gives me a half grin and waves good bye as he trots off after his very pissed off wife. I turn and look at Ashley who is still crying and I wrap an arm around her._

"_C'mon lets just go home."_

_She stops suddenly and turns to look at me with hopeful eyes._

"_I think I want ice cream."_

_Oh shit not again…_

I'm jolted out of my memory by two arms wrapping around me from behind.

"Hey you alright? You seem a little spacey?"

Her husky voice finally sounds happy again and I grin as I lean back and kiss her cheek.

"Yeah just watching the girls."

Ashley moves to stand next to me lacing our fingers together. My heart skips a beat when she kisses the top of my hand.

"They are beautiful and Becky is really good with them."

"You're beautiful."

I can't seem to stop staring at her and when she turns to face me her eyes are twinkling.

"We should socialize. We did throw this party after all."

I nod in agreement and we join the other adults gathered around the picnic table.

God I love my life.

**BAM! Thanks for all the adds and reviews, you guys are awesome.**


	3. You're My Better Half

**I own no part of SON**

**Peace and love to you all!**

"I've been having that bad feeling again. Like it's not worth it anymore and that I don't know the reason for being alive. I just want all the pain to go away."

Tommy's sad eyes bore into me and I can almost see a younger version of myself in him. His is one of my most troubling cases, with constant self-esteem issues. He is always on edge and I do believe he is capable of taking his own life. But he has become one of my favorite patients and I'm the only one he will really talk to.

"You know I used to feel like that."

He gives me a doubting smile and a curious gaze.

"Really, why?"

I take a deep breath and relive the nightmare that still haunts me.

"But I thought you were…well ya know, gay?"

I smile widely at him and grab a picture of Ashley and I off my desk. It was taken years ago but it feels like it was taken yesterday.

"Well Tommy I prefer to not put a label on it but if you must I would say bisexual. I truly believe you can't help who steals your heart. My thief came in the form of a lively brunette."

His eyes seem lighter and the dark clouds I saw forming in them seemed to have started to drift away.

"Will you tell me how you met her?"

His pleading look breaks my heart. He's looking at me as though his life depends on this very story. I smile at him and nod my head.

"Alright but I'm going to make it the short version because we are almost out of time."

He leans back with an expectant look on his face as I begin to tell him mine and Ashley's story.

One hour later and thirty minutes over our session time I'm hugging Tommy goodbye.

"Say hello to Ashley and your daughter for me?"

I smile warmly at him while I lay my hand on his shoulder.

"Will do and call my emergency number if you need me."

He grins at me and walks out of my office in considerably higher spirits then when he entered. I flop back into my office chair and dial the house.

Ripley answers on the third ring.

"Davies house this is Ripley."

I grin at my daughter's phone answering technique.

"Hey baby how's your day going?"

"Mommy! It has been such a good day first Momma took me to McDonald's and then we had ice cream and then we-"

"No Ripley give me the phone!"

Ashley's panic stricken voice cuts Ripley's ramble short and then I hear them fighting over the phone. I smirk as I hear Ashley telling Ripley to go watch TV.

"Hey sweetie, what's up?"

She's breathless and she only calls me sweetie when she's trying to suck up.

"Ashley I thought we agreed no fast food?"

"Yeah bu-"

"I'm not done. Then you give her ice cream? Are you stupid?"

She releases a deep sigh and waits several moments before answering.

"Yeah I know what we said but Spence I haven't spent any real time with her in like weeks and then when she asked I just couldn't say no!"

I roll my eyes at how whipped my wife is by our 3 and a half year old.

"Whatever I hope you're paying for all that now."  
I hear a shattering noise followed by a childish squeal.

"Oh yeah she's being evil."

I can't help but get some small satisfaction out of Ripley's bad behavior.

"Listen I might be home a little late. I've been backed up all day and I don't see it changing."

A girlie scream reaches me through the telephone line and I'm glad Ash is the one home with Ripley today.

"What? Ugh fine I'll see you later. I love you."

"Love you too babe."

As soon as I hang up the phone there is a knock at my door. I groan and rub my fingers on my temples.

"Come in."

I use my best office voice in case it's a sensitive patient.

"Hey hunny you got a minute?"

Eric looks like he's stepped straight out of an Abercrombie magazine. He's the picture of sexy hunk of man with his black slacks and sliver button down shirt. Too bad he's flamingly gay. He continues to wait for my answer, pushing his square black rimmed glasses up when they slip down.

"Eric I'm sorry but I'm swamped, raincheck?"

I give him credit for looking only slightly crestfallen at my answer. Him and I chat almost every day but I just don't have time today.

"Sure thing babe, let me know if you need anything."

He slips back out of my office.

XX

I glance at the clock again in desperation. It is now almost eight pm. There are three things I want right now: my wife, my daughter, and a glass of wine.

I shove the last of my papers in my briefcase before locking my office door to head home.

The drive home takes fifteen minutes and as I open our back door I'm greeted by some delicious smell and overly loud country music.

"_Baby just look at us all this time and we're still in love…"_

"Hello? Ash! Rip! Where you guys at?"

I follow the music to find a heart warming scene in our kitchen. Ashley is singing at the top of her lungs while Ripley watches from her perch on the counter, clapping and laughing as Ashley puts on her show and cooks at the same time.

"_Something like this just don't exist between a backwoods boy and a fairytale princess!!!!"_

Ashley spots me leaning against the doorframe and winks at me while she continues singing and dancing for our daughter.

"Mommy!"

Ripley spots me and I walk up to her pulling her into my arms. I squeeze her tight and finally feel myself relax.

"Hey angel, I've missed you today. Did you enjoy spending the day with Momma?"

The smaller version of Ashley in my arms nods enthusiastically.

"Oh yes Momma and I had so much fun today!"

"Good, hey why don't you go play and we'll call you when dinner is ready?"

My daughter looks at me with knowing eyes and an Ashley-like smirk on her face.

"Are you gonna kiss Momma now?"

I chuckle at Ripley's question and her accusing stare. Nothing gets by this little girl.

"Yes I am and if you don't wanna see it, run."

As soon as her feet hit the floor Ripley takes off at a dead sprint for her room. Once Ripley has completely left the room I feel a hot mouth on my own. I kiss her back trying to show her how much I've missed her. As she pulls back she rakes her fingers down my back, resting her hands right above my ass.

"Long day huh?"

I nuzzle my face into the crook of her neck and breathe her in. This will never get old, her holding me after a bad day.

"I don't wanna talk about it. I just want you to keep holding onto me."

We stand in the kitchen just holding onto one another for what seems like forever when Ashley suddenly jumps back.

"Damnit!"

"What Ash?"

She quickly goes to the oven and pulls out some sort of blackened dish. She throws the burnt brick looking thing into the trash and gives me an apologetic look.

"Well Rip and I had been making you dinner all evening and I fucking let it burn."

I try not to laugh because her face shows just how disappointed she really is and I grab her hand.

"Aw baby thank you. How about now we order some Chinese?"

She makes the most adorable pouty face before nodding her head. I place both hands on her neck and pull her close for another kiss. This one is different; it's slow but full of heat. I step closer and push myself against her, loving how she moans into my mouth. Ashley pulls away sucking in deep breaths while I start kissing her neck.

"God Spence."

By now I have her pushed against the counter and I can't stop tasting her. When I bite down on her neck she lets what sounds like a growl escape her. This just spurs me on and I start to suck harder, pushing myself even harder against her.

"Mommy, what are you doing to Momma?"

Ripley's soft voice causes us both to halt our movements and Ashley slips out from between me and the counter.

"Your Mommy and I were just playing a game, that's all. How do you feel about Chinese food baby girl?"

Ripley looks between the two of us and I can see the wheels turning in her head. She's way too smart for her own good and I can tell she doesn't buy Ashley's explanation of what was going on.

"Mk. I'ma go play now."

With that Ashley's mini-me prances out of the kitchen leaving us alone again. Ashley turns to face me with a sheepish expression playing across her face.

"Well that was interesting. We were playing a game? Really Ash?"

She rolls her eyes as she walks to the phone.

"Well you were no help."

I laugh and place a quick kiss to her temple.

XX

It is now almost nine and we are all finally sitting down to eat. Ripley had a PB&J earlier so she's just now hungry again but Ash and I are starving. We gather at our small three person dining room table for the meal. I smile as I watch Ashley make funny faces at Ripley. It jolts me back to when Ripley was a baby…

"_Come on sweetie just eat this…what the hell is this stuff?"_

"_Ash! Don't cuss in front of the baby!"_

_She looks at me like I'm crazy while still holding a spoon full of baby food goo._

"_Spence it's not like she knows what I'm saying."_

_I set my fork down and cross my arms. I need her to know I'm not messing around. As soon as my arms cross and my eyes narrow she starts fidgeting under my stare._

"_Do you really want our daughter's first word to be a profanity?"_

_I hear Ashley release a deep sigh and she brings her deep, brown eyes to mine. Shit she knows how to break me using those eyes of hers. _

"_No I want her first word to be Mommy because that means she's thinking of you all the time just like me."_

_I shake my head at Ashley's attempt to suck up. _

"_Just feed Ripley."_

_I bite my lip to keep from laughing as Ashley tries to make the goo filled spoon seem like an airplane while she continues to contort her face into funny expressions for our daughter…_

"Mommy can we watch a movie tonight?"

Ripley uses her beautiful brown eyes like a hypnotizer and sucks me into saying yes. Ashley pops in Aladdin and Ripley situates herself in between Ash and I. The little girl falls asleep in the first fifteen minutes but we continue to let the movie run.

I stare at Ashley in the dimly lit living room and am once again floored by her beauty. How did I get so lucky that this wonderful, beautiful woman chose me?

"I love you, have I told you that today?"

She looks at me with a quizzical stare and tilts her head, instantly reminding me of the younger Ashley that I first fell in love with.

"I love you too Spence and you could tell me that every minute of every day and it'd never get old."

We share a loving smile in our darkened living room and my heart swells with love.

**I'm about to get really busy with papers and stuff so I don't know when I'll update again. But thanks to everyone who is reading/reviewing.**

**The song Ash is singing is parts of Livin' Our Love Song by Jason Michael Carroll**


	4. Things I'll Never Say

**I own no part of SON**

**Peace and love to you all!**

"Are you sure Glen is going to be able to handle all three of them tonight?"

The concern in Ashley's voice doesn't surprise me; we go through this every time someone else watches Ripley.

"Yes babe plus Christian will be there to help him and they have all our cell phone numbers if they need us."

Ashley strolls out of the bathroom clad only in her underwear. My eyes widen and stay fixed on her body as she moves briskly around the room trying to find something to wear tonight.

"Spence?"

I don't raise my eyes just nod my head to let her know I'm at least halfway listening. Have I ever mentioned how incredibly sexy my wife is? Well she is.

"Spencer get up, stopping drooling, and get dressed. Kyla and Becky are gonna be here in like twenty minutes."

I'm finally able to avert my gaze and concentrate on forming a sentence but when I do speak my voice is lower and rougher then normal.

"Screw going out for drinks, let's stay in. I can think of something way more fun."

Ashley smirks and just crosses her arms in front of her body. I approach her slowly and when I reach her wrap my arms around her waist.

"Come on baby, I know you wanna."

I whisper the words against her ear and kiss down her neck.

"Spencer. Get. Off. Me. Go get dressed."

She gives me a gentle shove and continues her search for a decent outfit.

"Assshh come on it's been forever."

She slams the drawer shut she's been rifling through and turns to face me with fury in her eyes.

"Is that all you want from me? Is that what this whole relationship is about for you? You just want sex?"

My mouth drops open and my eyes widen. What the hell?

"No Ash I never sa-"

She doesn't even let me finish she just walks out of our room and into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind her.

I let out a frustrated growl and rub my face with my hands. I love this woman to death but even as an almost thirty year old woman she drives me insane.

Luckily I've started to learn how to deal with these irrational outbursts so when they do happen I don't panic, usually.

I quickly dress and walk to the bathroom knocking lightly on the door.

"Come on Ash please talk to me."

I know she's upset about something else and just won't tell me. This could end up taking days to find out what is really wrong but I don't want her mad at me that long.

"There's nothing to talk about. Go away!"

Right as I'm about to just kick the fucking door in the doorbell rings. I stare at the door for a moment longer then jog downstairs to let Becky and Kyla inside.

"Spencer your brother is a moron."

Great now I have to deal with Kyla's problems as well as my psychotic wife.

"Yeah I thought we'd established that a long time ago."

I give Becky an eye roll as Kyla brushes past me and into our kitchen.

"My God all I asked of the man was to record a show on the TiVo and we ended up losing power for five hours! How hard is it to press record? I mean seriously he blew out the power of the entire block! Where's Ash?"

I consider telling them what really transpired no more then five minutes ago but at that moment a smiling Ashley appears at the top of the stairs.

"I'm right here, you guys ready?"

Kyla gives her a big hug and the two of them walk ahead of Becks and I to the car.

"Hey what's going on with you and Ash?"

Becky's kind eyes are gazing at me questioningly and all I can do I shake my head.

"Just a little fight, hopefully nothing too serious."

It's a good sign when Ashley automatically sits in the backseat leaving the door open for me to climb inside after her. I slide into the back and scoot all the way over until I'm almost sitting on top of her.

She doesn't look at me just stares out the window. I grab her hand and lace our fingers together. I lean close and whisper softly in her ear.

"Ash I'm sorry. You know that's not how I feel or what I think about us. I love you. You're the reason my heart beats."

The car jolts to a stop and Ashley quickly exits the car but pauses outside the door. She looks at me with tired eyes and offers me her hand.

"Come on Spence."

I give her a shy smile and take the offered hand. We follow the other two into the bar hand in hand. Before we enter I stop and pull Ashley to me.

"Tell me you love me. I need to hear you say it."

I don't mean to sound as desperate as I do but I hate it when she's upset like this. Even when it's not my fault I blame myself. I can see the unshed tears behind her eyes and I can feel my own tears threatening to fall.

"I love you."

She gives me a brief kiss on the lips before grabbing my hand and leading me into the bar to find Becky and Kyla.

We find them at the back of the bar three shots waiting on the table.

"Jeez where have you guys been? I've got something important to tell you."

I smile apologetically at Becky and pull Ashley into the booth with me. After arguments like the one we just had I like to keep her especially close. Once we're settled with Ashley almost sitting on my lap and my arm wrapped possessively around her I signal Becky to go on.

"Well oh my God I'm so excited to say this, I'M PREGNANT!"

She screams the last part and as soon as she finishes the four of us erupt in yells and congratulations.

I practically jump across the table and hug Becky. We're all in tears as we hug and celebrate. Ashley pulls me back down next to her and firmly presses her lips to mine. I grin into the kiss and pull her closer.

After we break apart I grab one of the shot glasses.

"Here's to Becky! Congratulations baby."

Kyla, Ashley, and I down our shots while Becky sticks to just sipping her water.

We continue to drink and celebrate until almost one in the morning. I stopped drinking long ago but I can't say the same for my wife.

As we climb into Becky's car Ashley latches herself onto me.

"God Spence you're so irresistible."

She's breathing hotly against my neck as I try to keep her hands from undressing me.

"Can you two not do that in the back of my car."

Becky sounds a little disgusted and I feel kind of bad for her. I mean Ashley is trying to get me to have sex with her in the back of her car and Kyla is snoring loudly in her front seat.

"I'm sorry Becks I'm trying to get her to stop but she's oooo making it difficult."

My sentence becomes chopping because she's managed to push her hand up my shirt.

"Ok get out, we're at your house."

I carefully extract Ashley from the backseat and prop her up against the car while I lean back in.

"Congrats Becks I'm so freaking happy for you. I love you girl."

I give her peck on the cheek and go to grab Ashley. What I find makes me laugh out loud. Ashley is standing, leaning against the car passed out.

I gather her in my arms and make the trek to our bedroom. I lay her down on our giant bed and grab clothes for her to sleep in.

"S-spence."

I sit on the edge of the bed and stoke her cheek.

"Yeah Ash?"

She gives me a drunken half smile and looks lovingly at me through lidded eyes.

"I'm so sorry I was mad at you. But I don't…I mean I feel like you're not around anymore and when you are all you want is sex."

I lift her shirt over her head and help her into an oversized t-shirt.

"Hey baby let's talk about this tomorrow ok?"

She releases a deep breath and nods slowly as I get up to walk to the bathroom.

"Hey Spence?"

I pop my head into the bedroom with a mouth full of toothpaste.

"Mmyeah babe?"

For a few seconds right before she speaks she looks me dead in the eyes and her features clear of her drunken haze.

"I want to have another baby."

My toothbrush drops out of my mouth and my jaw hits the floor. So this is really what's been bugging her for these past few days. She gives me one last smile before passing out completely in a mess on our bed.

I grab my toothbrush off the floor and go into the bathroom to rinse and wash my face. I can't believe she hasn't told me how she felt. If I'd known she wanted to have another baby we could've talked about it and our options.

I slip into bed next to her and snuggle up into her back. I bury my face in her hair and wrap my arm protectively around her waist before drifting off into a slumber filled with baby dreams swimming around my head.

XXXX

She's sitting at the kitchen counter sipping coffee and humming quietly to herself. I lean against the door frame and watch her for a few more moments before I walk up behind her and kiss her shoulder.

"Morning wonderful."

She grins at the nickname and slides me a cup of coffee.

"Hiya stranger. When is Kyla bringing Rip back home?"

I sit next to her and grab the paper flipping it open.

"After lunch, Emma wants Ripley to stay and play this morning. Ash why didn't you tell me you wanted another one?"

I'm staring at her but she's still looking down at the countertop, avoiding my gaze.

"I-I just assumed you weren't ready. I mean you're so busy with work and you were so hesitant the first time that I figured you didn't want another baby."

She's looking at me with a weary expression and I smile at her causing her to look at me like I'm insane. Hell maybe I am insane but if she's my straightjacket I wanna be insane forever.

"Well let's do it. If it's what you want, it's what I want."

"Really?"

She's looking at me as if she's afraid to believe what she is hearing.

"Really."

Her eyes twinkle as she smiles at me through her happy tears.

"We're gonna have another baby!"

Her famous nose crinkling smile is flashed at me before she hugs me close. Oh my God we're having another baby.

**Thanks for all the reads and reviews! They are wonderful!**


	5. Time and Confusion

**I own no part of SON**

**Peace and love to you all!**

I bounce Ripley on my knee again trying to keep her young mind distracted while we sit in the waiting room. I told Becky I would come with her to the doctor so here I am with Ripley in tow.

As I bounce Rip again I glance at the clock. Becky and Christian have been in there for over a half hour. This actually isn't too bad when I think about how long Ashley and I always had to wait and then all the awkward questions that really pissed me off…

"_We've been waiting for like three days!"_

_Ashley continues to pace the tiny examination room and won't stop complaining about how long we've been stuck in here. I'm starting to feel a little claustrophobic. _

"_Wow exaggerate much Ash? It's been thirty minutes, I'm sure we're next."_

_I try to give her a comforting smile but I'm just as nervous as she is, I'm just better at hiding it. _

_A knock at the door stops Ashley's pacing and she sits in the examination chair. A tall balding man enters the room with a warm smile on his face. _

"_Ah hello you must be Ashley," _

_He shakes my wife's hand and looks quizzically at me._

"_and you are?"_

_I extend my hand and offer a warm smile._

"_Oh sorry I'm Spencer."_

_He gives me a genuine smile before turning on some machines next to him._

"_Ooook Ashley, I'm just going to do a quick ultrasound to see if you are in fact pregnant and then draw some blood. Sound good?"_

_Ashley nods nervously and motions for me to come take her hand._

"_Oh your husband busy? Must be nice to have such a good friend here with you."_

_I look at Ash with amusement and she gives a small laugh._

"_Oh no we're married. Spencer is my wife."_

_The older man halts all his movements and his pleasant nature is suddenly taken over by an air of disgust._

"_Really? Um excuse me for a moment I have something to…attend to." _

_I watch in fury as he peels off his gloves and throws us a look of utter revulsion. I look at Ashley and she's close to tears but trying to hold them at bay. I kiss the side of her head and drop her hand, heading for the door._

"_Spence where are you going?"_

_I try to soften my steely gaze when I look at her but I've always been terrible at hiding my emotions._

"_To kick some ass." _

_I don't wait for her reaction just charge out the door scanning the hallway for that asshole doctor. I spot him conversing with some young nurse by the drinking fountain and I march right up to him, clearing my throat once I'm near._

"_Oh Sp-"_

"_No. Don't speak and don't act like you've treated us professionally. You were a prejudiced dick to me and my wife. Now I want you to go back in there and treat my wife with the decency and respect she deserves." _

_I'm glaring at him with all the hatred I can muster while I stand pointing back to our room. As we both walk briskly to the room I mutter just loud enough for him to hear._

"_Don't think I'm not reporting this you inconsiderate asshole."_

_Ashley and I walk out of the hospital with matching shit eating grins._

"_We're gonna be parents!"_

_I smile at her excitement and loop my arm around her waist._

"_Isn't Kyla preggers too?" _

_Ashley nods enthusiastically and tilts her head at me, giving me a questioning stare._

"_Hey, what'd you say to that doctor to get him to come back in and be so nice?"_

_I laugh to the sun as we approach my car._

"_Only what needed to be said. No one treats my baby like that and gets away with it."_

The sound of Becky's laugh breaks my trance as her and Christian appear with warm smiles on their faces. I gather Ripley into my arms and hand her to Christian while I hug Becks.

"Congrats girl."

When I pull back there are happy tears streaming down her face.

"Auntie Becky why you sad?"

Ripley's big, brown eyes are full of concern and in the most adorable thing I've seen her do, she wipes the tears off Becky's cheeks. This of course just makes her cry harder at my daughter's innocence.

"Sweetie she's crying because she's so happy. Auntie Becks is going to have a baby."

Ripley bursts into applause and gives Becky a kiss on the cheek. Once again this makes her cry harder.

"Is she going to be like this often?"

Christian looks at me with worried eyes as Becky excuses herself to the bathroom.

"Of course she will, don't you remember me with Ash? I cried just as much as her because she would yell at me all the time. Her hormones were out of control and Becky's will be too. So, good luck buddy."

I say goodbye to both of them while I lead Ripley back to my car. She prattles on incessantly while I half way listen, my mind already on my sexy wife back home.

XXX

When I pull in our driveway and open the door to unbuckle Rip from her car seat I see she is passed out from our adventure. I release the restraints quietly and pull her into my arms, silently carrying her through the house to her bedroom. Before I leave her room I give her a soft kiss on the forehead with a whisper 'I love you'.

I go downstairs in search of Ashley. I know she's home her car is parked out front and her school books are scattered on the living room floor.

I smile when I spot her on our back deck with her guitar across her lap and a pencil behind her ear, music sheets with scribbles strewn around her.

I step out quietly and she's so engrossed in her music she doesn't hear me.

**just a couple kids a couple years ago  
now we gotta couple kids of our own  
we turn out right - proved them wrong  
look at us goin' strong**

lookin' back laughin'  
'cause they called us crazy 

Her sultry voice is irresistible but I still feel guilty when I interrupt her by sitting behind her with my legs on either side of her waist. But surprisingly she doesn't stop singing.

**we were young, we were wild, we were restless  
had to go, had to fly - had to get away  
took a chance on that feelin' - baby  
we were lovin' blind - borderline reckless  
we were livin' for the minute we were spinnin' in  
maybe we were a lot of things  
but we weren't crazy**

Her voice trails off and she leans her head back against my shoulder. She releases a deep sigh and I can hear the smile in her voice.

"Mmm hey you."

I kiss the top of her head and wrap my arms around her shoulders.

"God I love you."

I feel the vibrations of her laugh and she kisses the top of my hand.

"Ditto babe. Where's my daughter?"

I stand up and help Ashley to her feet as the sun begins to set.

"She's napping, today was tiring for her and me. Made me think of us. Are you sure you wanna go through it all again?"

Ashley frowns at me and storms into the house. Well that could have been approached differently. I sigh and reluctantly follow her inside, this is not going to be fun.

I'm surprised when I walk in the house and I'm enveloped in a loving embrace. I'm so caught off guard I forget to hug her back.

"Spence I know I'm ready. God I've been ready but if you're not its ok. I can wait, I can wait on this for you."

My arms find their resting place on her back as she nuzzles my neck. I lift her chin and place a chaste kiss on her lips, only one thought running through my mind; just how much I love this woman in my arms.

I pull away slightly and stroke her cheek. I gaze into my eyes and still feel a jolt from the love I see shining back at me.

"You're pretty amazing you know that?"  
As she grins her nose and eyes crinkle. I still feel the butterflies she used to give me when we were just in our twenties.

She leans in real close and kisses the tip of my nose.

"Actually I do. I don't know if you remember but I predicted that you would love me or at least wouldn't be able to stay away."

I roll my eyes as her words echo in my head.

"_I think you'll end up finding me irresistible…"_

She laughs at me and spins away from me, heading upstairs.

"I'm going to get Ripley up, so be prepared."

XXX

"Go pish Mommy."

I sigh as I correct Ripley for the thousandth time tonight.

"Fish baby, its fish."

I'm not irritated because I have to keep correcting her. I'm irritated because she's kicking my ass in go fish. I take a long sip of my wine before looking down at my twenty some cards, none of which make the necessary four of a kind.

Ashley looks at me with teasing eyes and bites her bottom lip.

"My dear wifey got any 3's?"

I groan as I hand her the two 3's in my impressive stack and take another deep drink of wine when she yells in triumph, throwing down all four 3's. She glances at the clock and I see relief flood her features.

"Rip time for bed. Go start getting ready and I'll be up to tuck you in."

Ripley gives me a sweet kiss on the cheek.

"Nite nite Mommy. Love you."

"Love you too baby girl."

I swat her butt causing her to squeal in delight and run upstairs to her room. Ashley gives me an agitated glare and rolls her eyes.

"What Ash?"

She pushes herself off the floor and flicks my forehead. Shit that kinda hurts.

"You had to get her riled up before bed."

I grin as I watch her walk off after our daughter. She loves that little girl so much, so completely it amazes me. I have no doubt that I love her too but something in Ashley lives for being a mother.

Is it fair for me to be selfish and not want more children? I mean Ripley alone takes away so much of Ashley that I used to have. More children will strip away what little bit of my wife that I still possess.

I stare at the fire blazing in the fireplace and slowly drink my wine. I'm not sure what I want to do about this whole situation, its so confusing. The only thing I know for sure is how much I love Ashley and how bad I want to make her happy. But am I willing to sacrifice some of us in order to make her happy?

When it comes time will I be able to sacrifice some of my happiness?

God I love her.

**Ok so first off I am so sorry that took so long. School has been crazy and its about to be even crazier. Second, I am considering doing a chapter in someone else's POV. Lemme know what you think and who it should be. This is not a guarantee that I will do it. Third thank you all so much for the reviews, reads, etc.**

**The song is We Weren't Crazy by Josh Gracin.**


	6. Bad Day

**I own no part of SON**

**Peace and love to you all!**

Ugh I was going five over, five over! The dickwad gave me a freaking ticket. This has easily been one of the worst days I've had in a long time. Don't believe me?

Let's start at the beginning.

This morning I was rushing to get ready for work and I cut myself shaving, bad. Then Ashley yelled at me for leaving my towel on the floor, by this point I was fifteen minutes late already. After Ashley was done bitching me out I stepped in a puddle of dog piss, fuckin' A.

Since I knew Ash would blame me for the dog I cleaned it up and changed my socks without alerting her as to what had happened. Then Ashley and I argued about who would take Rip to school. I didn't see why she couldn't, being done with school and all. She called me an asshole but I won.

Once I finally got to school, after being stuck in traffic for another 20 minutes, it was swamped. All of a sudden every college student has an urge to jump off the fucking building! I didn't get lunch today.

And to top of the day from hell I got pulled over rushing home because Ashley said she needed to be somewhere!

As I stop in the driveway my drink sloshes over the lid and plops in my lap.

"FUCK! OH MY GOD REALLY?"

I shake my fists in the air and gather my things to head in the house. What I find just pisses me off more.

Ripley is in the kitchen with, is that peanut butter smeared all over her face? Heidi is trying desperately to lick it off my daughter.

"Mommy!"

She spots me and runs to me, wrapping her tiny arms around me and pushing her peanut butter covered face into my $200 suit. I take a deep breath trying to remember she's not even four.

"Baby where is your mother?"

Ripley takes a step away from me and assesses my cold expression, fear causing her brown eyes to widen.

"U-up."

I nod once and make the hike upstairs intent on strangling my wife when I find her.

I scoff when I do spot my wife putting the finishing touches on her makeup. I take in her clothes and my anger boils.

"Why are you dressed like that and why is our daughter downstairs, alone and covered in peanut butter?"

My voice sounds surprisingly even, not the yell I was preparing to deliver. She doesn't even extend the courtesy of looking at me when she speaks.

"Some friends invited me out to celebrate being done with school and I gave Rip a sandwich. Could you clean her up for me? I'm running behind as it is."

My jaw clenches and I know that this is going to end badly but not for me, it's going to end badly for my ignorant wife.

I throw my shit on the floor and rip my jacket off in a hurry.

"Seriously Ashley? This is where you just _had_ to be? A fucking party?"

Again she doesn't look at me and her bored tone pushes me even further.

"Yes Spence, this is important to me. Thanks for caring."

My hands form fists at my sides and I glare at her.

"Ashley, my dear wife, I have had the day from hell and you know what?"

She finally faces me and gives me an impatient look. I growl inwardly and take a step closer.

"You are not making it any better. In fact you're kind of making it worse! You couldn't at least clean up our daughter or psh I dunno greated me with a kiss and an 'I love you' when I walked in the door!"

She turns back to the mirror and primps once more.

"Listen I don't have time for one of your little freak outs. I really have to be going."

She turns on her heel and struts briskly out of the room. Oh hell no I am not done with her, not even close.

I quickly take off after her and when I reach her she's giving Ripley a kiss goodnight.

"Rip why don't you go upstairs and start getting ready for a bath. I'll be there shortly; I need to talk to your Momma."

The little girl nods quickly and obediently scrambles up the stairs.

I grab Ashley by the elbow and force her to face me.

"Is this really happening? Are you really just going to walk out when I need you? You didn't even ask me why I had such a bad day!"

By now my anger is fading and I'm getting close to hysterics. I really just needed my wife today, my goofy, beautiful wife.

She sighs and glances at the clock.

"Spence I just gotta go…"

I release her and wipe away the tears that have started to fall.

"You walk out that door and you're sleeping on the couch tonight."

My voice sounds stronger than I feel as she pauses in the doorway.

"You're giving me an ultimatum? I promise you won't like the answer. So you might wanna rethink what you just said."

She almost sneers the words at me and I've never been this angry at her before.

"No I meant it Ashley. I'm sick of this shit."

For a split second I see hurt in her eyes then she blinks and the hurt is replaced with anger.

"Fine."

I watch her waltz out the door and it slams hard behind her rattling a picture clean off the wall, the shattering glass ringing in my ears.

I can't believe she just left. Tears roll down my face as I allow myself a few moments to well in self-pity.

I wipe my face clean of tears and walk upstairs to help my baby take her bath. I give Rip a half-felt smile when I spot her in the tub.

"I fill it up Mommy."

She smiles proudly at me and waits for my approval with shining eyes. Those eyes are so similar to her mother's and right now those eyes are causing me pain.

"Very good baby."

I quietly wash and rinse her, occasionally nodding and agreeing with whatever she is saying.

I absentmindedly dress her in pajamas and carry her into my room.

"But Mommy if I sleep here where Momma gonna sleep?"

Her big, brown eyes look at me questioningly and I'm afraid to tell her the truth. No maybe not afraid I just know that the truth, that Ashley and I are in a big fight, could crush her little heart.

I give her a gentle kiss on the forehead and sleep into the blankets next to her.

"Momma's in timeout, so you can sleep here tonight."

This seems to placate her and she lies down, drifting to sleep in moments. I on the other hand cannot seem to fall asleep so I reside to watching Ripley sleep. When she sleeps she reminds me even more of Ashley. Her curly, brown hair is a mess around her face and a stray strand occasionally tickles her face.

At almost four in the morning I hear a car drive up the lane and the back door open then slam shut. I wake up even more when I hear footsteps approaching our bedroom. As the door opens I shut my eyes quickly and try to appear to be asleep.

My heart starts pounding against my ribcage as I listen to Ashley kiss my daughter and speak softly to her.

"Goodnight Rip. I love you so much baby."

I feel her hover over me and the smell of cigarettes and alcohol is overpowering. Her lips brush lightly against my ear and with her being this close I can tell she is a little drunk.

"No matter what I'm yours forever, I promised you that and I'm sticking to it."

I hear her quietly leave the room and I allow the silent tears I've been holding back to roll down my face.

She did promise me that, several years ago…

_It's a small service, maybe fifty people. I don't really have any family and she only invited her closest relatives. _

_Glen and Becky wait with me in my dressing room before the service. _

"_Damn Spence you look like you're gonna puke, you alright?"_

_Glen's tone is joking but now that he mentions it I do kinda feel like throwing up. He smiles warmly at me and passes me a bottle of water. I take a deep drink the cold water soothing my throat._

"_No I'm ready for this, I've been ready."_

_I'm ready; I love the woman on the other side of this small church. I give Becky a nod and she pops out of the room to signal the priest. _

_Becky walks back in the room after what seems like seconds and flashes me a brilliant smile._

"_Let's do this bitch!"_

_She gives me a quick kiss on the cheek and I can hear the music starting to play. Becky, then Glen march out of the small room with me following last. _

_As I start walking out I spot Ash on the other side, looking angelic. She's wearing a simple white strapless dress that runs all the way to the floor. Her hair is pulled up with small purple flowers pinned into her curls. She looks absolutely stunning._

_We meet halfway at the very front of the church and stand with linked hands in front of the priest. I don't really listen to the priest until he gets to the part about our vows; I'm too busy staring into Ashley's eyes. I'm first and I'm nervous as hell. I take a deep breath and smile at my future wife._

"_Ashley. To say things have been rocky is a bit of an understatement. There have many highs and there have been lows. Everyone knows that I almost lost you once and I promise that will never happen again. You've saved my life, you're my rock, my source of happiness, Ashley you're my life. I love you."_

_Ashley is standing there squeezing my hands with happy tears pouring out of her eyes and the priest motions her to go ahead._

"_Spencer, first of all I love you. I've loved you since almost the moment I met you. Yes things were hard but maybe that's how we know this is real, that this is worth it. I want you to know I'll be yours forever, always and forever."…_

I lay in my bed with open eyes until the sun has been up for over an hour. I look to the other side of the bed and my daughter is on her stomach with both arms shoved under her pillow, Ashley sleeps this same way.

I groan and roll out of bed, trying to be quiet as I make my way downstairs. I glance at the couch and feel a pang of guilt when I spot Ashley's limbs hanging off the edge. I give her a light nudge and when she doesn't move I shove her rougher.

"Ashley wake up."

She lets out a groan and blinks until her puffy eyes focus on me.

"W-what?"

"I'm sending the day with Becky. Ripley is still in our bed."

I don't wait for her to reply just grab my purse and jump into my car, speeding to Becky's small house as fast as I can, hoping my tears stop by the time I reach my destination.

**Thanks to those who read and reviewed. **


	7. Bleeding Love

**I own no part of SON**

**Peace and love to you all!**

It's been five days, five days of an aching chest and almost hourly tears. We've been trying to keep things as normal as possible for Ripley but the little girl can tell something is wrong. It's been hard to keep from bursting into tears when she asks me why I don't kiss Ashley anymore.

When Ripley finally goes to bed each night I lock myself in our room and Ashley spends her time in the living room. She only comes in our room for clean clothes and she always makes sure I'm not in the room with her at the same time.

I feel horrible because she looks like hell. Her eyes are constantly puffy and there are dark circles under her eyes from not sleeping. The shine in her eyes is gone and she's taken on an almost pale tint. I know I shouldn't feel bad because this isn't my fault but I do. Even Becky said I can't be the one to apologize…

_I bang my fist on her door repeatedly, tears stinging my eyes and blurring my vision. The door is wrenched open._

"_Who the bloody hell…Spencer?"_

_I collapse into Christian's arms and I hear him call for Becky as he holds me close. I feel Becky's arms replace Christian's as my feet carry me into the house._

"_Spence, my God what happened?"_

_She sits me down on the couch and wraps a supportive arm around my shoulders. Christian reappears and hands me a glass of water before excusing himself from the room._

_After several moments I calm down enough to tell Becky everything. She sits and listens attentively as I explain yesterday and Ashley's attitude._

"_So she just left?" _

_I nod slowly and notice anger forming in Becky's eyes. She stands up and starts pacing the room mumbling under her breath._

"_Becky are, are you ok?"_

_She sits next to me and grabs my hand._

"_Spencer I know after about a day of this whole being mad at her you're going to want to apologize to her but you can't. You didn't do anything wrong sweetie. I don't know why she's acting like this but I know she's proud and she won't give in right away but you can't either. You can't let her treat you like this, ok?" _

_Tears slide down my cheeks again and I bury my face against Becky's shoulder._

"_I just want things to be back to normal. I love her, God I wanna hate her but I can't I just love her too much."_

_Becky strokes my hair and lets out a deep sigh._

"_I know you do Spence, I know."…_

I glance at the clock again and the red digital numbers flash 4:30am at me. I know now it's pointless to try and sleep, I won't be able to. I rub my eyes and walk wearily downstairs. I pass the living room without even glancing in, it's something I've trained myself not to do for the past five days.

I robotically get the coffee started, knowing I'll need the caffeine to survive the rest of the day.

I don't hear the quiet footsteps approaching but I do hear her broken voice.

"Spencer."

She says my name so desperately and her voice breaks so harshly that I feel my breath catch in my throat.

I can feel her behind me and every fiber of my being is longing for her touch.

"Spencer, I-I'm so sorry."

Her words are raw with emotion and I can hear the tears in her words. I want so bad to just forgive and forget but I remember what it felt like when she just walked out like I was nothing. It felt like someone had taken a hammer to my chest.

I turn around and face her; I almost lose all my strength at the sight of her. Her big, brown eyes are filled with tears of agony and she looks almost sickly.

"I'm still mad at you Ashley."

My heart starts to beat faster just when I speak her name and I curse my body for reacting to her this way. She nods dejectedly and licks her lips nervously.

"I know and I don't blame you but I hate this. I miss you so much Spencer and I was an asshole I know that."

She steps closer to me and gently rests her hands on my arms. My skin instantly warms where she touches me. Finally having Ashley touch me again makes my heart race and my breathing to become shallower.

"You just left. You left me when I needed you."

My voice starts out soft but the hurt is evident. I can feel hot tears building behind my eyes and I know they will fall at any moment.

"Spencer, oh Spencer I'm so sorry."

She tries to hug me put I place both my hands on her chest and shove her, I shove her hard.

"No don't! Do you h-have any i-idea how b-bad this has h-hurt?"

Ashley doesn't let go just holds on tighter as I shove her again and again. Her repeated apologizes echo in my head and I give her one final push before collapsing into her arms. I'm drained, emotionally and physically. I sob into her chest as I claw at her back trying to repeatedly pull her closer.

"I love you. I love you. I love you."

She whispers the saying over and over as she places gentle kisses wherever she can on my tear drenched face. She cradles me until I stop shaking and I pull back, looking her dead in the eyes. I notice right away that her eyes appear more alive now that I'm back in her arms.

"Don't you ever do that again. Don't ever leave me when I need you, ever."

She nods quickly and I reach up wiping away the stray tears on her face.

We sit on the kitchen floor in silence, soaking up each other's presence. It feels like we've been apart for more than five days.

I take a deep breath inhaling her scent and finally smile. God it feels like I haven't smiled in ages. I press my ear against her chest and listen to the steady thudding of her heart. Ashley hums lazily to herself and runs her slender fingers through my hair.

"I've missed you, so much."

She practically purrs with delight in my ear at my words and cups my face with her hands. I can see in her eyes what she wants, what we both want. I cover her hand with my own and close my eyes.

Everything fades away when I feel her soft lips graze mine. Her lips blaze a fire deep down in my belly and I press myself harder against her. Ashley moans softly and bites my bottom lip. She turns her head away and I let my lips travel down her neck.

"Spencer,"

She pants my name as I lick her neck. I detach my lips and gaze lovingly into her now sparkling hazel eyes.

"You look better now. You almost looked kinda sick before."

I touch her face lightly, loving how the color is starting to return to her cheeks.

"I was sick Spence, I was sick from heartache."

I smile sadly and stroke her cheek.

"How about some coffee?"

She grins and stands pulling me up with her. Ashley scoops me into her arms and carries me to the couch setting me down gently. Before she returns to the kitchen she kisses me softly on the lips.

I smile giddily to myself as Ashley practically bounces into the kitchen to retrieve our coffee. When she returns to the living room she places on mugs on the side table and lights the giant fireplace. Within seconds Ashley has a roaring fire going and returns to the couch, tangling herself with me.

We lay on the couch just kissing remembering why we love each other and letting our hearts find their way back to beating in tandem.

"It's almost six. Should we be getting ready?"

I don't want to ask the question but it needed to be said. I have work and Ashley has a few final classes to attend plus one of us has to take Rip to school. She raises her head off my chest and squints at me.

"Hey hold on ok? Don't move."

I tilt my head and give her a confused stare as she untangles herself from me. She disappears and is gone for almost five whole minutes but I don't dare move from where she left me.

Ashley walks back into the living room, clicking her cell phone shut with a smirk plastered on her gorgeous face.

"If anyone asks a terrible flu hit our house. You and I are deathly sick but Rip escaped so she's staying at my mother's."

I laugh softly as my wife lowers herself back onto the couch, gathering me back up into her strong arms.

"So this means we don't have to go to school today and Ripley is getting picked up by your mother?"

Ashley traces her fingers all over my face before she runs them down my arms and side before they find their resting place around me on the small of my back.

"Ah yes mom is coming to pick up Rip but I told her to stay away from us because we are highly contagious. I doubt we'll even hear her come in."

She nuzzles into my neck and my heart hammers harder. Everything feels so brand new, every feeling, every touch seems like it's the first one as we cling to each other on our couch. Apparently this fight did us more good than bad seeing as I don't think I've ever felt this close to Ash.

We lay on the couch all day, only leaving to use the bathroom or retrieve food. We talk about nothing and everything all at the same time. We share kisses that are passionate yet gentle as we find our footing once again in our crazy life.

"How could I ever walk out on you? I must have been ignoring my heart because it aches for you."

She sounds so angry with herself over our fight.

"Hey I forgive you, as long as it never happens again. I love you too much to ever just let you walk away."

I kiss her as the sun sinks lower in the sky and Ashley sighs happily.

"Well I guess our little vacation is over."

I smile at her and grab her hand pulling her off the couch with me.

"Oh no I think it has just begun. Time to move the vacation to our bedroom, its play time."

I think she growls but I'm not sure as she aggressively drags me up to our room. The door closes with a slam and that's the last sound besides Ashley that I hear all night.

**I won't be able to update again for like a weekish. I'm already paying for writing this one but I couldn't just leave you hanging. Thanks for the reads/reviews/adds/etc.**


	8. You'll Be In My Heart

**I own no part of SON**

**Well those of you who have reviewed and stuck with me are getting a special shout out this chapter because I love you guys!**

**SONFANFOREVER: I'll start with you. You already know how much I love you, I've told you over and over but I'll say it again because I do love you. You're wonderful. Thank you so much for all the wonderful reviews! I agree Ash was stupid during the whole fight thing and props to Spence for not giving in to her while they were fighting!**

**DarceLynn: I think it's safe to say your reviews are the funniest! I just adore reading them and I always end up with the biggest smile on my face after I get done. I think by now its ok for me to admit I might have a slight crush on you as well as SONFAN. So kisses to you! And don't you worry there won't be any real drama for a while, promise! **

**Hugbuddy13: Thank you, thank you, thank you! You are one of the other best about reading and reviewing every chapter. If I could I'd give you an award for being so consistent and wonderful but all I can do is recognize you in my story, so here it is, you rock! **

**Vfx: I'm glad to see you are enjoying the story! I love getting reviews from new people as well as old. Means my story is still getting recognized by a new crowd. Thanks for the reviews!**

**Now on to the story! Bring on the cuteness!**

"How do I look?"

She keeps asking me and I keep giving her the same answer.

"Gorgeous, as always baby. Now can you please move so I can use the mirror?"

I'm really trying to be patient with her but people are going to start arriving in like twenty minutes and I need to finish getting ready.

"Is it all too casual?"

In all honesty she looks amazing. Her tight, ripped jeans show off her terrific lower body and she's wearing a hoodie that is a dark shade of maroon with her curly auburn hair hanging down around her face.

"Ashley, we told everyone to dress casual so you look fine. Please move."

Ashley gives me an apologetic smile and ducks out of the way. Finally some mirror space!

"I'm gonna go downstairs and hang with Rip until people start showing up. By the way I love that shirt on you."

She whispers huskily in my ear and shivers shoot through my body. I know she loves this shirt that's precisely why I'm wearing it. I give myself a once over taking in my faded jeans and dark blue long sleeve v-neck shirt, I nod once in approval and hear the doorbell ring. The first of the guests have arrived.

I jog down the stairs and tuck my hair behind my ear before answering the door.

"Hey doll!"

Of course Eric and his boyfriend were the first ones here, gay guys are never late.

"Hey Eric, James nice to see you again."

I take the bottle of wine from the quiet man following Eric. He smiles shyly and brushes his dirty blonde hair out of his eyes. Eric prances into the house like he practically owns the place with James following him like a lost puppy.

I smile and shake my head walking after the boys. Was I or am I like that with Ash? Do I follow her around like that? Ugh probably, whatever she's wonderful to watch from behind her.

I go into the living room to see Ashley drinking a beer while talking adamantly to Eric about hair products. James sits a few feet away on the floor playing Candy Land with my little girl.

I open the wine and pour the boys their glasses. I walk to Eric to hand him his glass.

"Oh no girl you should totally try, God what is his name? Well I can't remember right now..."

I don't stick around to listen as to how to get the bounciest girls so I hand James his glass and he thanks me quietly. The doorbell rings and I know who is here now. I take a deep breath before answering the door. I pull it open and two bodies hit me at one time.

"Aunt Spencer!"

Alexis and Emma both throw themselves against me while I greet their parents then they take off in search of Ripley.

"God Glen they are so big! Hey Ky."

Kyla just waves at me and takes off into the house.

"Oh yeah they are just growing like weeds and don't mind her, she's looking for her sister."

He shrugs off his jacket and hangs it in the closet. He's become what I always knew he could, my parents would be so proud of him and the life he leads now. I circle my arm around his waist as we walk further into the house to join the others.

I grab my own glass of wine and settle into a conversation with Glen knowing that I have at least thirty more minutes before I'll get interrupted to answer the door. Becky is always almost 45 minutes last to everything; even Christian couldn't change that about her.

Now is the time to explain why everyone has gathered at our lovely home in rural Ohio. It is me and Ashley's five year anniversary tomorrow so everyone has come to celebrate tonight, giving us tomorrow to spend as a family.

"So you and Ash good now?"

I had told Glen about our fight almost right when it happened and he's been concerned about us ever since then. His bright blue eyes fix on my matching ones and I nod confidently.

"Yes, in fact we're probably at one of the best points of our lives. And oh my God the make up sex."

His face scrunches up and he holds his hand out.

"Uh no thanks, I don't wanna know."

I laugh loudly and Ashley's gaze meets mine from across the room. She gives me a bright smile before returning to her conversation with Kyla and the boys. I feel myself grin in response and my knees go a little wobbly.

Glen starts to tell me about his work when I hear the doorbell at last signaling that Becky is finally here. Ashley starts to get up to answer and I signal for her to sit back down.

I pull open the front door one last time and a beaming Becky gives me a hug.

"Sorry we're late but uh gosh I don't even have a good excuse, we were having mind blowing sex."

I punch her arm lightly and see a slight blush creeping up Christian's neck. I laugh as they follow me inside and both get bombarded by the three little girls. I think it's safe to say all three of them have a crush on Christian.

He gathers them all up in his arms and carries them into the living room.

"How are my favorite girls?"

They burst into giggles and all start talking to him at the same time. I elbow Becky's side as she grabs a bottle of water.

"Your husband is quiet the charmer."

Becky rolls her eyes and takes a long drink of water.

"Oh yeah he's real smooth with the ladies. So what did Ash get you for your anniversary?"

I pop a cube of cheese in my mouth and shrug my shoulders.

"I have no idea, she won't even give me any clues. All she said was I'd get half tonight at the party and half tomorrow sometime, so your guess is as good as mine."

Becky grabs a glass of wine for her husband and we join everyone in the living room. I sidle up to Ash and intertwine our fingers as she argues with Glen.

"No I saw it she seriously layed him out, flat. Oh Spence tell everyone how you knocked Glen unconscious two years ago when he tried to sneak into our house to scare us on Halloween."

Her eyes are bright and shining with excitement, she looks like a kid on Christmas. I laugh lightly and give Glen an apologetic look. Her groans and drops his head into his hands as I start to tell the story.

"Well it was kinda late, well late enough for Ripley to be in bed, Ash and I were on the couch watching some scary movie when I thought I heard something. So I walked to the kitchen with Ashley cowering behind my back and when Glen jumped out at me I screamed then decked him in the eye. He went down like a down of bricks, it actually took us about two minutes to revive him. His eye swelled up like a bitch, lasted a few weeks did it not my dear brother?"

Everyone laughs at the story and I rub his back affectionately as he guzzles another beer. I turn to say something to Ash when I notice she's disappeared. I frown and look around the room but I don't see her anywhere.

"Uh excuse me, hey everyone over here!"

Over by the fireplace I spot Ashley sitting on a stool with her guitar across her lap. Everyone turns to face her and she smiles nervously.

"Ok cool everyone could you just find a seat and Spence this is for you baby, I love you."

The lights dim and its then I notice all the lit candles when I look by the light switch the three little girls are turning the knob giggling softly.

I turn my attention back to the front when I hear the soft strumming of a guitar.

_With every appearance by you, blinding my eyes,  
I can hardly remember the last time I felt like I do.  
You're an angel disguised._

And you're lying real still,  
but your heart beat is fast just like mine.  
And the movie's long over,  
that's three that have passed, one more's fine.

Will you stay awake for me?  
I don't wanna miss anything  
I don't wanna miss anything  
I will share the air I breathe,  
I'll give you my heart on a string,  
I just don't wanna miss anything.  


My mouth is hanging slightly open and my eyes are locked with hers. Her husky voice carries through the room and I can feel my heart beating harder against my ribcage.

_  
I'm trying real hard not to shake. I'm biting my tongue,  
but I'm feeling alive and with every breathe that I take,  
I feel like I've won. You're my key to survival._

And if it's a hero you want,  
I can save you. Just stay here.  
Your whispers are priceless.  
Your breathe, it is dear. So please stay near. 

She breaks eye contact from me to close hers and sing even louder. With the candle-light flickering around her she looks like an angel. I can hear the emotion in her voice and I'm restraining myself from rushing forward and kissing her senseless. __

Will you stay awake for me?  
I don't wanna miss anything  
I don't wanna miss anything  
I will share the air I breathe,  
I'll give you my heart on a string,  
I just don't wanna miss anything.

Say my name. I just want to hear you.  
Say my name. So I know it's true.  
You're changing me. You're changing me.  
You showed me how to live.  
So just say. So just say,

That you'll stay awake for me.  
I don't wanna miss anything.  
I don't wanna miss anything.  
I will share the air I breathe,  
I'll give you my heart on a string,  
I just don't wanna miss anything

I stare into her eyes and don't even realize she's done until I hear the clapping and yells from our friends. I grin through happy tears and I rush to her, throwing myself into her waiting arms.

"That was amazing, I love you so much."

I whisper the words into her hair and she pulls back running her fingers along the side of my face.

"I was born to love you Spencer Davies."

She gives me a loving kiss as our friends and family start gathering around us.

"Well I would say that was a pretty kick ass anniversary gift. Christian I'm demanding you to learn guitar and take some singing lessons too!"

We all laugh at Becky's irrational demands as she unconsciously lays her hand over her slightly bulging stomach.

"Wow thanks Ash you make the rest of us appear to be ruddy losers."

Ashley laughs and her eyes sparkle with life. My arm that is circled around her waist pulls her closer as Ripley wriggles her way into the group and I scoop her into my arms. I give her a kiss as Ashley presses one to my temple.

I am so blessed to be this loved and I'm not taking any of it for granted.

**Ok well I got some shit done a lot earlier than I thought I would so I got another update in! Woohoo, thanks to everyone who read and reviewed.**

**Song is Awake by Secondhand Serenade. **


	9. Lost in This Moment

**I own no part of SON**

**Peace and love to you all!**

"Ripley be careful!"

When I open my eyes I'm greeted by the most wonderful sight. My wife and my daughter are standing at the foot of the bed and Ashley is holding a tray weighed down with food. Oh the Gods love me, my wife is wearing tiny shorts and a tiny tank top with an open robe.

I watch a smirk form on Ashley's face as she sees me staring at her body. Oh God even after last night I want more of her. A small body squeezing my own breaks my oogling of Ashley's form.

"Happy anniversary Mommy. I so happy you love Momma so much."

As Ripley continues to hold onto me, happy tears threaten to fall out of my eyes.

"I know our daughter is precious and you're loving her hugging you but this tray is getting heavy. You ready to eat?"

I bite my lip at her question taking it a completely different direction then she intended. Her eyes widen as she figures out what I'm thinking about.

"Uh Rip why don't you go play in your room while your Mommy eats."

I watch Ripley bounce out of the room with her favorite teddy bear trailing behind her. Ashley's hot mouth is on my neck in an instant. A loud moan leaves my mouth as she licks down my neck.

"Ash God I love you baby."

I can feel her grin into my neck as she lays a gentle kiss on my pulse point.

"Spence do you know how unbelievably sexy you are?"

Is that whimpering sound coming from me? Uh yes definitely me.

"Uh, yes. What no. God quit confusing me with your tongue."

Her lips and tongue are leaving a hot trail up my neck to my earlobe where she tugs on it slightly with her teeth.

As I run my hands down her sides and squeeze her hips I hear her release a low almost animalistic growl.

"You taste so good and you smell,"

She breathes in deep with her face buried in my hair.

"absolutely heavenly."

My body shudders underneath hers. A trail of goosebumps are left in the wake of where I run my nose along her neck.

Her lips find mine in a deep kiss as she presses her body harder into mine.

"As much as I would love to finish where this is headed we can't, Rip is like one room away and I've got more planned for you today."

Her voice isn't very convincing as I continue to kiss her bare shoulders and roll us over so I'm laying on her.

"Seriously Spencer you have to get off me!"

Her lips land on mine one last time before I grant her wish and roll off her. Ashley retrieves the previously ignored tray and crawls into the bed next to me while I eat.

"How is it?"

She's giving me a hesitant look and I laugh inwardly knowing she's as afraid of her cooking skills as I am. Last time she made cookies we were out of sugar so she just used powdered sugar instead. Let me just say those cookies were nasty.

I swallow down the surprisingly delicious eggs and make a nasty face to taunt my wife.

"Well…"

Her eyes widen in horror and I bite my lip to keep from chuckling.

"the food is amazing and so are you."

She grins as I close the distance between us and kiss the tip of her nose.

"Momma! Momma are we going to the park now? I all ready!"

I smile lovingly at my little girl who is indeed dressed and ready to go to the park. She has on her baseball cap and play jeans that have holes worn in the knees.

"Ok baby girl let me get dressed then we'll leave."

Her eyes shine as she nods at me and she instantly reminds me of Ashley. God she looks so much like Ash and she even acts like her most days. They are both incredibly stubborn but so kind hearted. I reflect every day on how Ashley brought me back to life that summer so many years ago.

I'm given a quick peck from Ashley before she jumps off the bed, scooping Ripley into her arms all in one motion. Delighted squeals echo through the house as Ashley carries Ripley downstairs.

I can't stop grinning as I dress for our day at the park. As much as I'm looking forward to spending some time all three of us together I'm more excited for tonight when Ashley and I will celebrate by ourselves.

The car ride to the park is filled with chatter from Ripley. I smile as Ashley answers her and Ash's hand rests habitually on my thigh as I drive.

X X X X X X X X X

The sun is shining brightly as I chase Ripley around the playground, Ashley's laughter from where she's sitting echoing throughout the empty park. I feel two arms wrap around me from behind, halting my chase of my daughter.

I lean back into her embrace as she lays a soft kiss to my neck.

"You are so beautiful."

I can feel the blush spread across my face at her words and the absolute sincerity behind them. That is one thing that I never doubt in Ashley, her words. I can't remember her ever lying to me. So when she says things like 'I love you' or 'you're beautiful' it is impossible to doubt her.

"And you're way too good to me."

I turn in her arms so I can look into her eyes, those deep, hazel eyes that shine even on the darkest of days. When my eyes meet hers I'm not disappointed by what I see. She's looking at me like I'm the most amazing thing she's ever seen and her smile reaches her eyes.

"Nah you're worth it."

Her soft lips brush mine ever so gently before she looks over my shoulder at Ripley swinging slowly.

"I think she's getting tired. Let's take her to your mom's."

Ashley gives a slight nod before kissing my forehead and walking to gather Ripley.

X X X X X X

"Come on Spencer you have to tell me where we are going!"

I laugh as finish drawing on my eyeliner. The whine in her voice is evident and I can imagine the pout on her face. Oh that sexy, beautiful pout that drives me completely insane.

"Baby I told you it is a surprise. It's part of your anniversary gift."

I step into my small, black dress and when I start to zip it up the side I feel her hands on mine stopping my motions.

"Allow me."

Her mouth is against my ear whispering huskily. I shiver as her fingers slowly pull the zipper up and she rests her forehead against my bare back.

We stand in silence for several moments her hands resting on my shoulders and her forehead against my back.

"We should go or we're gonna be late."

I manage to croak out the words as I stand there my whole body on fire. I feel her nod against me and press a kiss between my shoulder blades.

"Ok let's go before I rip that pretty little dress off you and throw you on that bed an-"

I jump out of her arms and across the room.

"No, don't finish that thought because then we'll never get to the restaurant."

She's smirking evilly at me as my eyes sweep her body for the first time that night. She's wearing a tight, red dress that is showing all her curves and the perfect amount of skin. God even at almost thirty she's got the tightest, hottest body I've ever seen.

"Well then shall we be going?"

She reaches out and grabs my hand as we make our way downstairs. Ashley lets out a gasp at what is waiting in the driveway.

"You didn't?!?!"

She doesn't wait for my response just throws her arms around my neck and pulls me into her.

"Spence you know how I've always wanted to take a ride in one of these!"

She takes my hand and lifts herself into the horse and buggy, settling in with her arms raised waiting for me to slide in next to her.

We kiss and touch and share smiles the entire ride to our destination.

After several minutes the sound of a violin reaches my ears and I smile in anticipation. Ashley lifts her head off my shoulder at the music and her eyes dart out the window searching for answers.

The buggy jolts to a stop and the driver opens our door with a smile on his face. I blush because I know he heard us back here, we weren't exactly quiet about our actions.

I watch as Ashley takes in our surroundings. There are several tables scattered in a meadow with Tiki torches and candles as the only light. A big white tent by the trees houses the temporary kitchen and a small group of musicians sit by a clear area reserved for dancing.

Her eyes are wide and twinkling as we follow the host to our table by the dancing area. After we are seated and order our drinks Ashley turns her loving gaze towards me.

"Spence this is perfect. You're perfect."

I smile as she presses her lips to mine in a sweet kiss.

Our meal is eaten with pleasant conversation and filled with smiles, gentle kisses and loving gazes.

The music changes to a softer piece and Ashley squeezes my thigh under the table causing my gaze to meet hers.

"Dance with me?"

I've been waiting for her to ask me all night and I give her a brilliant smile as an answer. I stand pulling Ashley to her feet at the same time. Her laughter echoes through my head as I twirl her around in a circle.

Swaying back and forth I gaze into her eyes and give her a loving smile. She returns my smile and rests her forehead against mine.

"Do you remember our first kiss?"

A smile creeps across her face as she looks me in the eyes.

"Are you talking about the one I forced on you or our real first kiss?"

I shake my head and laugh softly.

"I mean our first real kiss. It was so simple but from the moment our lips touched I knew I wanted to be able to do that forever."

Her eyes shine with love as she looks at me. Tonight under these stars with Ashley in my arms, I couldn't ask for anything more.

**Ahhh sorry that took so long. I'm such a horrible person! Thanks for all the reviews and reads etc. You guys are awesome!**


	10. Mixed Emotions

**I own no part of SON**

**Peace and love to all!**

I should have known this was too good to be true. We were having too much sex for this to last any longer.

Happiness is such a fragile thing and it's something Ashley and I have had trouble mastering. Now I don't mean that Ashley and I aren't happy but we have a hard time staying that way for long periods of time.

It's a curse really.

"Spencer I didn't mean it come out of the bathroom, please baby."

See our happiness is a very fragile line that we both walk and she's stepped off recently.

Well let me explain how I ended up in the bathroom with a bottle of tequila and enough anger to make me want to actually slap Ashley. It started about a day ago when Kyla came to visit…

Her hips sway to the music as she tends to supper at the stove. Man she's got a great body. She's been enjoying her days off school hanging with Ripley once she's done with pre school. Every day she's been waiting for me when I get home with a kiss and a cold

beer, God I love her.

"Hey Spence?"

The smirk on her face and the amused tone of her voice tells me she's noticed my staring.

"Yeah babe."

Ashley leans across the counter and smiles brightly into my face, her eyes twinkling. She's taunting me, daring me to kiss her so I do.

"Kyla's coming for dinner, that ok?"

Her kiss has left me light headed and dizzy so I agree without hesitation or any thought.

"Yeah whatever. Hey come back here."

She giggles as she walks around the counter to where I sit and I pull her onto my lap. There we sit my hands running wherever they can on her body and we're just making out when the doorbell rings.

"Stupid skank."

Ashley's grumbled insult at her sister causes me to smile and I give her one last kiss before she stands to go answer the door.

"So Spencer is here too?"

Kyla's voice sounds strained and panicky. God no get out of my house things are going good here.

"Uh yeah Ky she lives here."

Sarcasm is dripping from Ashley's voice when I hear her reply. They enter the kitchen and Ashley winks at me while Kyla avoids my gaze all together.

"Auntie Kyla!"

Ripley seems to have appeared out of thin air as she wraps her tiny arms around Kyla's legs.

"Hey squirt, how are you?"

Her niece grabs her hand and leads Kyla into the living room, chatting away about school and friends.

"Why is she acting so weird?"

I point in the direction Kyla just went and Ashley simply shrugs her shoulders.

"Baby I don't know. Give me a kiss."

I smile before taking her lips with mine. I feel Ashley smile into the kiss and I can't help but smile too. We break apart and I rest my forehead against hers.

"I love you Ash."

Every time I say this she grins like a maniac and I get this warm, fuzzy feeling inside my chest. I'm rewarded with another quick kiss and a nose crinkling smile.

"Love you too babe. Tell Rip and Kyla dinner is ready."

Ashley turns back to dinner and starts setting the table as I walk to the living room in search of Ky and Rip. I find them huddled over Ripley's Nemo coloring book, both of them scribbling away.

"Hey Mommy we color Nemo!"

I look at the scribbles all over the page and press a kiss to the top of Ripley's head.

"Good job baby. Now go wash up dinner is ready."

She nods her little head and her brown curls bounce just like Ashley's do. When I look for Kyla she's already slipped out of the living room.

Dinner is how it usually is but weird. Ripley talks nonstop about everything but Kyla barely eats and she's starting to look a little pale. We clean up dinner and send Ripley to her room to play so we can talk to Kyla.

"Baby she's your sister you ask her."

Ashley looks at me like I just asked her to do something painful.

"But Spence you're her friend."

My chuckles at her lame attempt to get out of it cause her to scowl at me.

"You'll be fine besides I'll be right there too."

We find Kyla standing on our back deck watching the sun float lower in the sky. It's a pleasant night, warm and all the colors are starting to blend together in the sky. Yeah it's a nice night but there's this feeling in the pit of my stomach that tells me something bad is gonna happen.

"Ky, are you ok?"

Ashley lays a hand on Kyla's shoulder and when she turns to face us there is remorse and pain in her eyes.

"Please don't hate me Spencer."

Honestly I hadn't been paying much attention. See Ashley's wearing these tiny shorts and the slightest movement by her gives me the best view.

"Hm what?"

Kyla's brown eyes, which are so similar to Ashley's, close briefly and then she drops a bomb that has the potential to destroy us all.

"I cheated on Glen-"

"WHAT THE FUCK?"

My yell surprises all three of us and tears start to run down Kyla's face.

"and I'm pregnant from that one night stand."

To say I'm shocked is an understatement, I'm way beyond shocked or surprised. My poor wife is staring between me and her sister looking like she doesn't know which one of us to go to. My mouth is hanging open and I can feel the battle lines being drawn between our families.

"Does he know?"

My voice is surprisingly calm and barely above a whisper. Kyla is sobbing too hard to talk and only shakes her head. So he knows and he must be hurting right now. Ashley is hugging Kyla and trying to calm her down.

I don't want to comfort her, she's breaking the heart of one of the most important people in my life.

"I have to go."

Walking through the house I grab my jacket and my purse before I grab the garage door handle.

"Wait Spence."

Ashley magically appears beside me with eyes full of concern.

"I have to go to him Ash. He shouldn't be alone right now."

Her clenched jaw and cold frown surprise me.

"But what about Kyla?"

I don't mean to laugh in her face but I can't help my immediate reaction to her statement.

"Seriously Ashley? Kyla is to blame for this. Remember how you felt when you thought I had cheated on you?"

Her silence echoes off the walls and I shake my head.

"I'll be back later and I'm expecting Kyla to be gone."

Right as I'm about to climb in the car I hear Ashley's voice.

"She's my sister I can't leave her out in the dark. I get he's your brother but she's my freakin sister Spence."

I nod stiffly before pulling out of the driveway and speed off to Glen's house. God I hope he's ok…

It's completely dark by the time I reach his house and I can tell there is only one light on in the living room. I punch in the code for the garage and enter the dark house in search of my curly haired brother.

I see his silhouette standing by the window with a glass in his hand. I'm willing to bet money he's not drinking water.

"Glen."

He turns at my voice and I can tell he's been crying. His eyes are all bloodshot and puffy. He hasn't even changed out of his work clothes. His tie hands loosely around his neck and his shirt is wrinkled.

"Where are the girls?"

"In bed."

His voice is rough from the crying and I wrap my arms around him. He smells like liquor and cigarette smoke. Glen doesn't smoke unless he's really hurt or upset, this is bad.

"How could she Spence? We have a goddamn family together. I mean I thought we loved each other?"

The desperation in his voice is enough to make me want to cry but I have to hold it together for him, I have to be the strong one for once.

"Glen I don't know what to tell you about her but I do know what you have to do."

His crystal blue eyes are shining with tears and his face has pain etched all over it.

"What Spence?"

"You have to be here for the girls. You two have to do whatever it is you need to do without hurting your girls."

I wrap my arms around his bulky frame and pull him close.

"Thank you Spence. You should get back to Ashley and Ripley thought, I'll be ok."

His strong hands pull me to my feet and lead me to my car. We hug goodnight under the stars and I feel his body shake as he cries one last time.

I don't even bother with the radio on the drive home and my mind swims with tonight's revelation. I can't believe this is happening to Glen, he doesn't deserve this and I never thought Kyla would do this to him. What makes it worse is she's pregnant.

As I pull into our driveway I notice that our bedroom light and the living room light is still on. I can feel exhaustion aching in my bones as I walk through the house, shutting off lights and locking doors.

I pause at the entrance to the living room and spot Kyla sitting on the couch, her shoulders shaking with silent sobs. The side of me that is Kyla's friend wants to go to her but the louder part of me that is loyal to Glen is screaming at me to kick her ass. Shaking my head I jog quickly up the stairs and stop at Ripley's room to press a feather light kiss to her forehead.

I sigh as I push open our bedroom door and I see Ashley just standing by the window staring into darkness. Just seeing her after all this makes me feel better. I know where I stand and its next to her.

She doesn't give any indication that she knows I'm standing right behind her and she doesn't flinch when I run my hands up and down her arms.

"Let's go to bed baby."

She sounds so tired and I let her lead me to our bed. Ashley snuggles into bed as I start getting ready for bed.

"Is your sister ok?"

Despite hating her guts for what she did to Glen as her friend I am still worried about her.

"She feels terrible of course. I almost can't blame her-"

The brush I was dragging through my hair drops to the ground.

"Wait. What? Tell me I heard you wrong."

Her tired eyes meet mine and she grimaces at the malice in my voice.

"Well she was talking about how she feels ignored and Glen is always working and they fight all the time."

I can't believe what I'm hearing.

"So you're saying that this is ok? Her cheating is ok? That this is how to fix a problem?"

She's by my side in an instant trying to soothe me, screw her I'm pissed!

"No no no baby wait."

Screw this, I slam the bathroom door in her face and pull out the bottle of tequila I hid under the sink for just this reason. I unscrew the cap and guzzle the burning liquid. How could she say these things? Why couldn't she just not choose a side and let us be happy?

Yeah maybe I'm taking it out on her and maybe she didn't mean what she said but all I can see right now is how clearly drawn her line is. Her allegiance is with the girl sleeping in our living room and it pisses me off.

So here I sit with my back leaning against the door and the bottle of tequila almost empty next to me. Tonight has been just shitty.

**I am so sorry this took so long. I've been dealing with some medical stuff recently so I haven't had a lot of time to write. But I should be good for awhile now. Thanks for all the reads/reviews/etc!**


	11. Hold Me

**I own no part of SON**

**Enjoy!**

**Peace and love to all!**

The first beams of light shining through the blinds wakes me from my drunken slumber. I groan as I try to stretch my back that's throbbing from sleeping on the bathroom floor. My body aches and my head is pulsing, all I want is some coffee.

It's probably around five in the morning so it should be easy to avoid Ashley. She never gets out of bed before nine. I open the bathroom door and rub my eyes as I start to walk out.

"oof."

My feet catch on something on the ground and now my face is pressed into the carpet. Ow shit that hurt.

"Baby oh Spencer are you ok?"

Her hands are running over my body and her eyes scan me quickly for injuries.

"What the hell were you doing on the ground?!?!"

I try to sit up but my head spins and I just collapse back to the floor. Ashley winces at my harsh tone.

"I must have fallen asleep waiting for you to come out of the bathroom. Why do you smell like booze?"

Now it's my turn to look ashamed as I try to avoid her probing stare.

"I uh kept a bottle in there, just in case. Hey I'm still mad at you!"

My hands push her away slightly before I get to my feet and try to make my way downstairs.

"Come on Spencer you know that everything came out wrong last night. God I was tired and please forgive me baby."

She's chasing me down the stairs and when I stop abruptly to turn to yell at her she crashes into me, sending us both tumbling down the stairs. We land with a loud thud at the bottom. Damnit this morning hurts.

Ashley's groan causes me to panic. Oh my God is she hurt? I quickly untangle myself from my wife and this time I'm the one looking for injuries.

"Ash are you ok? You didn't hit your head did you? Wait how many fingers am I holding up?"

She gives a small chuckle and shakes her head.

"You are such a dork."

In that moment staring into her sparkling, hazel eyes I forget that I'm mad at her, I forget that her sister is breaking my brother's heart. The only thing I can see is how much I love her and how much she loves me. I told her years ago that I see forever in her eyes and that hasn't changed.

She must sense my change of mood because her hand comes up to cup my cheek and she gives me a soft smile.

"I don't wanna be mad at you anymore. Do you think there is any way that we can deal with our siblings without ruining us?"

She gives a big sigh and runs her hand through her curls.

"Yeah I saw screw 'em. Kyla messed up and needs to fix it and Glen needs to do whatever he needs. We only need to focus on us and Rip of course."

A loud banging on our front door jolts us out of our staring contest and we walk quickly to the door.

"Hey guys, you got any peanut butter? Oh I'll need pickles too and maybe green beans."

My best friend pushes her way past us and into our house. Ashley looks at me with confusion and I just shrug. Becky was weird way before the pregnancy, I'm sure it's only intensified her strangeness.

"Uh Becks you know it is only like 5:30am right?"

Becky briefly pauses her actions of digging through our fridge to look at me. She quirks her eyebrow at the sight of Ashley clinging to my side.

"I see everything is better."

Ashley cocks her head at me and gives me a slight frown. I rack my brain trying to remember when I last talked to Becky, I got nothing.

"What the hell are you talking about you crazy pregnant psycho?"

She releases a triumphant shriek before placing the pickles on the counter. As she digs through the cupboard Ashley pulls me to a chair and seats herself in my lap.

"You called me last night all drunk and pissed. Something about Ash being a, what was it that you called her…oh yeah 'self-centered bitch' was the term you used."

I cringe at the thought of me saying those things about my wife and she shoots off me in a second.

"You called me what?"

"Oops guess I shouldn't have said anything. Hey where is the peanut butter?"

Ashley waves her hand in the general direction of the peanut butter before glaring at me. I place both hands on her hips and try to pull her closer.

"Baby I was drunk and didn't know what I was saying. Remember what we agreed on like no more than five minutes ago?"

Her arms stayed crossed stiffly across her body and her glare doesn't soften.

"Yeah I do and I'm pretty sure you calling me a bitch doesn't fall under what we talked about."

Becky is making her gross sandwich and just standing there staring between me and Ashley.

"Uh should I leave?"

I ignore Becky's question and stand up cupping the back of her neck with my hands.

"Ashley I love you and we were both stupid last night. Can we just move past this because fighting with you is so exhausting and I don't think I'll survive another minute of it?"

Her face softens and she wraps her arms around my waist.

"Ok one this sandwich is not half bad and two if you guys are going to have a sickeningly cute moment please warn me so I can excuse myself."

I laugh and nuzzle Ashley's neck as she grins at Becky.

"Ew Becky what is on that sandwich?"

Ashley talks candidly with Becky while I continue to just breathe her in. I hate when we fight, even if it lasts for only a night. When we make up after we fight I don't let her out of my sight and she is the same way about me.

"Oh well its peanut butter, pickles, and I found some Goldfish. Seriously you should try it!"

Ashley makes a gagging noise and I chuckle against her neck. Her hands start running up and down my back causing me to sigh contentedly.

"I think I'll pass. Remembering what I ate when I was pregnant makes me sick enough and I don't need to relive that. Other then your weird cravings how is everything going?"

The three of us move to the living room to catch up, Kyla has disappeared to somewhere. Its nice having Becky here and everything but all I can focus on is Ashley. Its not like I don't care about Becks it's just that I barely got to see Ash yesterday.

I halfway listen to Becky and my wife while I stay snuggled into Ashley's side with my eyes closed.

"Dude are you even listening?"

All I do is nod and open one eye to see if Becky's actually pissed. When I look at her she rolls her eyes and pushes herself to a standing position.

"I should be going that useless husband of mine is probably getting up soon and I want him to make me pancakes."

Ashley and I start to get off the couch but Becky holds out a hand, stopping us both.

"No don't worry about it I can show myself out. I'll leave you two to get it on. Have fun!"

Ashley blushes and I just laugh as I hear Becky leave the house. Well having a visit from her is always an adventure.

"Ripley's going to get up soon."

Ashley doesn't bother hiding the disappointment in her voice and I kiss her temple.

"Where'd Kyla run off to?"  
For the first time Ashley seems to notice that her sister is missing from our living room.

"No clue but oh my God I have the best idea!"

Her voice reaches a usually high squeak and she sits up with lightning speed. I can't help but cringe at her voice level and fear of what she's thinking.

"Ash come on we said we wouldn't meddle."

She grins at me and rakes her nails across my stomach causing me to squirm.

"Oh come on this idea is brilliant. Let's go to Mexico, all four of us!"

Eh this kind of sounds like a good idea but I'm not sure. Ashley straddles my lap and runs her fingers through my hair.

"Please baby, I'll wear my black bikini all day every day."

Her breath is hot against my ear as she tempts me. Well this trip just became a way better idea.

"Fine but I'm not putting up with their shit."

Ashley squeals in delight and hugs me tight.

Mexico or bust.

**Sorry for the delay. Things have been crazy and thank you all for the support about my medical troubles. It's permanent thing so it meant a lot to know you all are supporting and caring about it. Love you all!**


	12. Outta Here

**I own no part of SON**

**Peace and love to all!**

Oh man would you look at Ashley in those tiny jean shorts and white tank top? Mm mm she looks good enough to-

"Spencer what the hell are these extra suitcases for?"

My eyes snap to her face which is giving me 'the look'. Oh come on you know the one I'm talking about. The one that says 'you better answer me right now!'

"Uh what suitcases babe?"

I feign ignorance to her question and try just walking away. Maybe she won't notice me just slipping out the-

"Stop moving and tell me what this is about!"

Her harsh tone halts my movements and I cringe before turning to face her.

"Listen baby I tried to tell them no that they couldn't come but they wouldn't listen to me. So don't kill me."

The confusion on her face almost makes me laugh out loud, almost but I don't have a death wish. I walk to where she's standing and run my hands down her arms.

"W-what are you talking about?"

Sighing I press a gentle kiss to her forehead.

"Becky and Christian are coming too. So now it's you, me, Glen, Kyla, Becks, and Christian."

Ashley groans in protest but I silence her with a kiss. Her hands tangle in my hair as she tries to pull me closer, biting on my bottom lip.

"Momma? Mommy?"

Ripley's wide brown eyes stare up at us and I can't help but let out a frustrated sigh at the interruption.

"This is why sex goes out of marriages."

Ashley chuckles at my grumbles and scoops Ripley into her arms.

"Hey little girl. You gonna behave for grandma while we're gone?"

Our daughter nods seriously and when the doorbell rings she tries to wiggle out of Ashley's grasp. As soon as her feet hit the floor Ripley takes off at a sprint for the door.

"If she wasn't so damn cute I'd strangle her."

Ashley rolls her eyes at me and pecks me on the lips.

"Oh stop it, remember we have a week long trip in Mexico with no daughter."

I groan as her voice drops an octave and her fingers rake across my stomach. Just as I'm leaning in to capture her perfect lips with mine we're interrupted again.

"Momma, Mommy! Granny is here!"

I throw up my hands in frustration but plaster a smile on my face at the sight of Christine. The woman still hasn't forgiven me for running out on Ash all those years ago.

"Spencer so good to see you!"

Christine's voice is laced with sarcasm and when she hugs me I roll my eyes at Ashley over her shoulder. She releases me and goes to grab her daughter. Whew I'm glad she's done with me.

"Mom are you sure it's ok for you to take Rip for a week?"

Ripley clings to my legs as I run my fingers through her hair neither one of us paying attention to the adults in the room.

"Spence, Spence!"

I snap out of my trance that consisted of staring at Ashley's legs, probably inappropriate to do in front of her mother.

"Hmm yeah Ash?"

She raises her eyebrows in amusement and smirks at me.

"Mom needs to take Rip now."

We both give Ripley hugs goodbye and Ashley even cries. This is the longest we've ever been away from Ripley.

Ashley stays in the kitchen crying softly while I walk Ripley to Christine's car.

"Mommy why is Momma crying?"

Her wide eyes shine with innocence and I kneel at her level, grinning at her question. I kiss her on the forehead and tuck her hair behind her ear, she's too adorable for words.

"Your Momma was crying because she's sad she's leaving you for a week."

Ripley gives the most adorable frown before she places her little hand on my cheek.

"You take care of Momma right?"

My smile breaks across my entire face at her cuteness before I nod enthusiastically.

"I promise I'll take care of Momma. Now get going squirt."

"Wait give Momma this from me."

She wraps her tiny arms around my neck and gives me a sweet kiss on the cheek. I return the favor and pat her on the butt as she jogs to climb into Christine's car. I wave from the driveway as the car pulls away and I let out a joyous squeal before running back into the house in search of my wife.

According to my calculations we have an hour before we have to be at the airport which gives me time to, well you know. Her quiet sniffling leads me to find her sitting at the kitchen counter holding a picture of Ripley. Well scratch that whole we've got an hour thing, she's a little distracted.

Coming up behind her I wrap my arms around her neck and leave a lingering kiss on her cheek.

"That was from our little girl."

Ashley bursts into tears and rotates in the chair throwing her arms around me.

"Spencer how can we just leave her? Let's cancel the trip this was a bad idea!"

Hell no! We are so doing this trip but I have to convince her gently.

"Baby look at me."

I use my hands to gently guide her face so she's looking at me. Her eyes are all puffy and red from crying so hard.

"We _need_ this vacation. You and I are so close to destructing that we need to go to Mexico to heal and going on this vacation will make us better parents because we'll be back in sync."

She sniffles loudly and looks at me with understanding eyes. I hate seeing her cry, it makes my chest ache.

"Yeah you're right Spence."

She rubs her eyes clear of tears and I feel my heart swell with love at the sight of her smiling sheepishly at me. My hands seem to have a mind of their own as they slide down her back to her ass. This earns me a nose crinkling smile and I feel myself swoon.

As I hoist her up onto the counter I latch my mouth onto her neck at the same time. She gives a surprised gasp that turns to a moan as I lick her neck.

"You are so sexy and perfect and I'm the luckiest person alive."

My muffled words against her neck earn me a deep kiss as I join her on the counter, hovering above her. With my body like this, pressed against her, my heart beats so fast I think it's going to jump out of my chest.

She flips our position and starts kissing down my neck when my phone rings.

"Leave it."

Her voice is rough as her skilled fingers work on unbuttoning my pants. A growl jumps out of my throat when she bites my collarbone, shit that's amazing.

"REALLY?!?! OH MY GOD GUYS COME ON!"

Becky's shrill yell startles me and I end up falling off the counter, landing with a hard thump. I give out a groan and when I open my eyes Becky is standing above me smirking.

"Wanna fix your pants Spence?"

Oh shit they are still unbuttoned and almost pulled down and my bra is unclasped. Ashley is a sneaky, sneaky girl. My sheepish grin elicits an eye roll from my best friend as I fix my outfit.

"What the hell are you guys doing here?"

Ashley hardly ever cusses but when she does it turns me on like no other. I bite back a moan and grab a glass of cold water.

"Becky said we needed to be here because we were all riding together to the airport. Is that a problem because we can find a different ride?"

I roll my eyes at Christian; leave it to him to be a gentleman after he interrupts almost hot lesbian sex.

"Let's just go. I'm already ready to kill you two, just a little fyi for ya."

Becky laughs at me and winks.

"Spence you could never kill me. Who would you brag to about all the hot sex you're having?"

Beside me Ashley turns a deep shade of red while I grin shamelessly, nodding in agreement.

X X X X X X

We've been waiting at the airport for five hours. Our fucking flight got delayed, twice! Upon arrival at the airport Ashley had surprised me with the news that she upgraded our tickets to first class. She's too good to me.

Now the six of us sit in a very awkward, uncomfortable silence. Glen and Kyla have already caused a scene when Kyla tried to hold his hand. Glen screamed at her like a little girl.

The stress from their tension has only caused me to hold Ashley's hand tighter in my own.

I smile when I feel her head drop on my shoulder as she starts to fall asleep. My smile from Ashley's cuteness only gets bigger when I see Becky passed out with her head resting in Christian's lap.

In some ways they remind me so much of me and Ash. They always have to be touching each other, even in small ways. According to Becky they have mind blowing sex also like me and Ashley. But what is the most similar is the way they look at each other. Becky looks at him like he's everything and the same goes for him. This is what reminds me most of my own relationship.

"_All boarding flight 218 direct connect to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico." _

Those of us awake sigh with relief at the announcement of our flight. I gently try to wake Ashley from her sleeping state.

"Ash, baaaby. Wake up beautiful."

Incoherent mutterings tumble from her perfect lips causing me to smile lovingly at her.

"Ashley sweetie the flight's boarding."

Her eyes finally flutter open and I lose myself in the depth of her chocolate eyes.

"It time to go?"

Ashley's voice is rough from sleep and the stress of the day. I nod and pull her to her feet by her hands. My arm wraps habitually around her waist as we walk to the gate of our flight. Man the last time I was on a plane was me and Ashley's honeymoon, what an interesting flight…

"_I can't believe we're married!" _

_Ashley's grin is contagious as I beam back at her. Here we are sitting first class getting ready to take off for Italy._

_She grips my hand tighter as the airplane lurches forward. Her hand relaxes in mine once the airplane levels out and we're flying smoothly. _

"_Hey Ash?"_

_She turns her gaze away from the window to my face. Her eyes are sparkling with happiness and love._

"_Yeah Spence?" _

_I don't try holding back the grin encompassing my face._

"_I love you, wife of mine." _

_Now she's grinning that nose crinkling, dimple provoking smile of hers. _

"_I like you calling me that, I like being your wife." _

_She leans in real close and kisses my jaw softly. My contented sigh encourages her to keep kissing down my neck._

"_Hello ladies! My name is Jill can I get you anything?" _

_The flight attendant smiles brightly at us and locks her stare on me. Ashley almost growls next to me and pulls me closer to her._

"_Hi Jill is it? Yeah we'll take two Jack and Cokes, thanks." _

_Ashley's tone is sarcastic as she sneers at the young woman. Jill nods politely and walks briskly in the opposite direction. _

"_Ash what the hell was that about?" _

_She directs her scowl away from Jill and locks her deep, brown eyes with my curious blue ones. _

"_Spence she was totally checking you out! I couldn't just sit back and let her get away with it." _

_She pouts adorably at me knowing I can't resist that face. My hand cups her cheek and my thumb strokes the skin there. _

"_Baby I didn't notice her checking me out because I was too damn busy staring at you." _

_As I lean in to kiss my beautiful wife I hear someone clearing their throat next to me. Ashley stares into my eyes and from the look on her face I can tell who's standing next to us. _

"_Two Jack and Cokes! Are you two ladies celebrating something?" _

_The flight attendant's over perky voice makes me want to cringe but I just shudder before facing her with a fake smile._

"_Well yes we just got married." _

_I hold up my hand as Ashley stays quiet next to me, glaring at the woman with cold eyes. _

"_Oh what a beautiful ring for a beautiful woman!" _

_My mouth drops open at her words and Ashley immediately goes on the offensive._

"_Ok thanks for the drinks, bye." _

_Jill shoots Ashley a look of disdain before smiling at me and wandering away._

"_Un-fucking-believable. Even when she finds out we're married she keeps hitting on you." _

_I watch as Ashley becomes increasingly possessive and angry. She is so hot._

"_Ashley shut up."_

_Her eyes practically bug out of her head._

"_What did you say?"_

"_I said shut up and meet me in the bathroom in five. You're turning me on, now you can fix it." _

_Her eyes turn dark and I kiss her before taking off for the bathroom. God I love being married…_

The sensation of someone staring at me brings me out of my delicious memory.

"Baby why are you smiling like that?"

"Remember the last time we were on a plane?"

Ashley blushes and rolls her eyes.

"Spencer it is not going to happen. I'm tired and it has been a long day."

I frown as I look out the window into the blue sky. Well this is going to be a loooong plane ride.

**The next chapter will actually be the six of them in Mexico. Thanks for everything, you guys are wonderful!**


	13. I Can't Stop Loving You

**I own no part of SON**

**Peace and love to all! **

The humid air makes my bangs cling to my sweat drenched forehead and I can only imagine how awful I look right now. I pull my bag closer to me while Glen argues with some Mexican man about our cab that was supposed to be here over an hour ago.

"This is ridiculous."

Becky's been saying the same three word phrase for the better part of twenty minutes and I'm ready to snap, so much for our perfect vacation.

"I know what you're thinking and stop it."

Her husky voice breaks my daydreams of different ways of killing Becky. I feel her hot lips brush the side of my neck as her arms wrap around me from behind.

"What'd you mean?"

"Everything is going to be fine, I promise."

As much as I love feeling Ashley against me the heat causes me to wriggle out of her grasp. She frowns slightly and I give her an apologetic smile.

"Sorry baby but dear God it's hot here!"

She gives me a nose crinkling smile before pecking my lips.

"Ok I finally got a cab but we're going to have to squeeze together."

Glen rushes the words and Kyla stands behind him looking at him with longing eyes. Ashley nods quickly and grabs my hand before leading us to the cab. I notice that Kyla stares at our linked hands with an almost jealous glint in her eyes. Becky has already claimed the front seat of the cab so that leaves the rest of us to cram into the back.

The drive lasts 40 minutes. That's 40 minutes of Ashley sitting on my lap and I'm not allowed to touch her in the way I want.

The car jolts to a stop in front of a gorgeous hacienda and I can't stop the wide smile spreading across my face. Ashley jumps out of the car and I follow her immediately scooping her into my arms as my feet hit the ground.

"Spence!"

She squeals with delight as I march towards our condo.

"What Ash?"

I kick the front doors open and set out for the biggest bedroom. Aha! She grins crazily back at me as I set her on the bed and settle myself next to her.

"What about everyone else? Or how about our bags?"

She moans as I rake my teeth across her throat ending with a soft kiss against the flesh of her neck.

"They're fine and its someone's job to get our bags, don't worry about it."

She grabs either side of my face and brings my lips to meet hers. My hands slide up her sides to tangle in her hair. Her licks at my bottom lip and part my mouth willingly. She moans loudly as our tongues slide against each other.

"These," I tug at her jeans, "have to go."

She smiles at me with dark eyes as she kicks out of her jeans. Just as I am about to kiss her again a knocking at the door distracts me.

"Baby get rid of them."

Her gruff voice makes me bite my lip with desire and I've never seen anything as sexy as a half dressed, panting Ashley. My over enthusiastic nodding earns myself a husky chuckle and twinkling eyes as I practically stumble to the door, opening only wide enough for me to poke my head out. There stands Glen.

"What Glen?"

He gives me a weird look and I realize that I'm breathing hard looking disheveled.

"We were all going to go down to the restaurant for a late dinner, wanna come?"

Hmm I am kind of hungry; I glance over my shoulder back at Ashley who is giving me the 'come hither' eyes. Nope definitely not going down to dinner.

"Glen can I be painfully honest with you right now?"

I laugh on the inside when I see his expression get serious as he morphs into big brother mode.

"Of course Spence you can tell me anything."

He sets his big, manly hand on my shoulder and looks at me with waiting eyes.

"I'm about to have sex with my gorgeous wife. Go away."

Glen's eyes bug out of his head and he sputters a few words before almost running away. I chuckle as I watch his retreating form and then remember Ashley waiting for me. I close the door and as soon as I'm in the bed her lips are on mine. She pulls away and grins lazily at me.

"You think I'm gorgeous?"

"Nah not really."

I fake disinterest and wrinkle my nose at her while she gasps, slapping me on the arm playfully. My hand snakes into her hair and I fall into her mesmerizing stare.

"No seriously Ashley, you are the most beautiful person alive, inside and out. I love you with everything I am."

Her watery gaze stays trained on me as she brushes her lips against mine.

"I love you Spencer. Now please make love to me, I need you."

The sadness and desperation in her voice startles me almost as much as the tears rolling down her face. I give her a loving smile before lowering my lips to meet hers.

We loose ourselves in each other as the night wears on and we both finally sleep as the sun begins to rise again.

X X X X X X X X X X

"Baaaaby wake up."

My body tingles as I feel a pair of soft lips blaze a trail across my throat. All I can manage to do is groan and mumble.

"Spencer come on, everyone is going to the beach."

Rolling over I bury my face in my pillow mumbling even more at her.

"Too early, need more sleep."

"Hmm did I wear you out last night? I guess you'll miss me in my new swimsuit."

Ashley in a bikini? Hell yes. I bolt out of bed stealing a quick kiss before almost sprinting to the bathroom. As I'm leaving the room, ready to hit the beach, I run smack dab into Kyla.

"Oui!"

She lets out a startled squeak and my heart thuds heavily with sympathy. I really haven't been a good friend to her because I've been too focused on Glen.

"Hey Ky."

Her face lights up at my affection use of her nickname. A weak nod and a few awkward words later I'm strolling towards the beach with Ashley clinging to my arm. Becky walks with Christian a few feet in front of us, scolding him for various things. Kyla and Glen straggle behind us walking in silence.

"Stop worrying about everyone else. Pay attention to me."

Ashley looks at me with the most adorable pout and I roll my eyes.

"I didn't give you enough attention last night?"

She grins evilly at me causing me to just grin back at her.

"Last night was amazing. You're amazing, have I told you that?"

Her tone turns from teasing to serious in the blink of an eye and I see truth in her eyes.

"Yeah baby, you have. Now you promised me you'd prance around in your bikini, get to it!"

She laughs heartily before stripping down to her bikini as we all set up our little camp on the almost completely deserted beach. Ashley grabs her sister's hand dragging her off towards the ocean with Christian, surfboard in hand, hot on their heels.

"Glen hand me a beer."

My older brother obeys my command and opens one himself, passing Becks water. The three of us lay down on the hot sand next to each other as we watch the other three play in the water.

"What am I supposed to do guys? I want to hate her so bad but I love her at the same time. She's the mother of my children for Christ's sake."

I can already hear in his voice that he's made up his mind what he wants but he needs someone to voice it for him. I tear my gaze away from Ashley's bikini clad body to look at Glen.

"Glen, are you still attracted to her? Could you ever see yourself with anyone else? Could you ever stand the sight of her with someone else? Does the sight of her make your heart beat faster? Do you still find yourself staring at her? Does your whole world still revolved around her? If so, then forgive her. Turn this negative into something positive before you end up throwing away the best thing that has ever happened to you!"

Becky nods slowly next to me as Glen gazes into the distance at his wife.

"Are both of you guys happy everyday with Christian and Ashley?"

We both smile giddily staring at each other before Becks answers him.

"Yeah he makes me happy everyday. Maybe not all day but yes I'm very happy."

Glen smiles at Becky affectionately and I remember the days I used to think they would end up together, before my parents and Aiden died. I swear Glen and Becky hold a special place in their hearts for each other.

"What about you Spence? Are you happy everyday?"

I don't answer right away, my gaze drifting to where my wife is laughing and splashing in the water.

"Yes. Between Rip and Ash I'm happy every single day. Even when I fight with Ashley I remember that at least I have her to fight with and it'll never last long enough to break us apart."

Glen nods as we watch Christian scoop Ashley into his arms, throwing her over his shoulder. Simultaneously Becky and I narrow our eyes speaking at the same time.

"He better not get too grabby."

Glen starts laughing as Becky and I grin at each other. I stand brushing some sand off myself and press a kiss to Becky's head. Ashley waves at me while still slung over Christian's shoulder and once he places her back on the ground she starts sprinting towards me.

Ashley flies into my open arms and I breathe in the smell of ocean in her hair. Her wet body glistens gloriously in the midday sun as we walk hand in hand down the beach.

"Did you and Glen have a nice little chat?"

Her hand is warm and soft in mine and I realize just how perfect her hand fits in mine.

"Yeah I think him and Kyla are going to be just fine."

"Oh and why do you think that?"

Ashley's voice holds no sarcasm or negative tones just pure curiosity and wonder. I smile before I answer and brush some stray hairs behind her ears.

"Because he looks at Kyla like I look at you."

Her face softens and her smile causes my knees to wobble weakly. She leads me into the water with no explanation, pulling my body into hers.

"I just want to be near you."

We stand in the water pressed against each other until my toes wrinkle and we walk into the sunset our hands laced together, never wanting to leave each others side.

**Thank you so much everyone! I love you all. I'll be on a medical trip for a few days so it'll be even longer for an update, sorry guys. Stay with me and thanks again.**


	14. Turn Me On

**I own no part of SON**

**Peace and love to all!**

She's wearing white. She knows how I react when she wears white. It usually ends with that white article of clothing ripped and ruined, carelessly discarded somewhere on our bedroom floor but right now she's wearing it and we're in the same room as Kyla and Becky. She's torturing me and judging by the glint in her eye it is on purpose and she's enjoying watching me squirm.

"Spencer if you don't focus and finish getting ready we'll leave you, swear to God you're an airhead. Typical blonde."

Becky mutters the last part of the sentence and I tear my gaze away from Ashley long enough to scowl at my best friend, who is looking pleasantly pregnant these days. Becky looks stunning in her long green dress that makes her eyes sparkle with the joy of having a man she loves and being pregnant with his child.

Kyla is wearing an off white dress that hangs off one shoulder and her smile is bright, reminding me of Ashley.

"Spencer can I talk to you for a second?"

Kyla's timid voice pulls me out of my trance of staring at my friends and I follow her into my bedroom, my face half finished with the whole make up application process.

"Hey Ky what's up?"

Her tiny frame grasps mine tightly and doesn't let go for quite a while.

"Thank you."

The eyes so similar to Ashley's stare at me graciously and now I'm completely confused. I let out a small chuckle and scratch my forehead.

"For what?"

"Saving my marriage, being an amazing friend, or how about how you love my sister unconditionally, making her the happiest person alive? Just thank you for everything."

Her kind words leave me speechless as I search for the proper words to thank her.

"You don't have to say anything," she turns to leave but pauses at the door, "oh and Spencer? I know you were debating between the red dress and the midnight blue one, go with the blue one Ashley won't be able to keep her hands off you."

She gives me a wink and leaves me with my mouth hanging open, standing alone in my bedroom. I smile to myself as I slip into the blue dress as I remember why I like Kyla so much.

Ten minutes later and the six of us are ready to go out for an extravagant dinner. The dress has the desired effect on Ashley. When I had rejoined the others I heard her groan and walk quickly to the other side of the house causing me to smirk victoriously with Kyla.

Now we're walking, it's supposed to be leisurely; to the restaurant and Ashley practically power walks in front of me. I'm almost jogging to keep up with her.

"Babe slow down!"

Ashley's steps slow and I catch up to her panting slightly but not getting the chance to catch my breath because she captures my lips in a heated kiss. Her hands grab greedily at my dress as mine grip her waist tightly.

The cat calls and whistles we receive not only from our friends, but strangers on the street as well, break us apart as Ashley blushes fiercely.

"You knew this would happen if you wore that dress! You're killing me."

She whines and grabs my hand pulling me towards the others.

"Oh and you so innocently wore a white dress. Remember the last time you wore white?"…

_Glen has been so kind as to offer up him and Kyla's house for my late graduation party. There are only twenty or so people here but that's fine with me. As long as she's here, which she is chatting up my psychology professor and damn she looks good. Her white vest shows just the right amount of cleavage and her white slacks are nice and tight._

_She must feel my eyes on her because she turns around and waves my professor mimicking her actions. I try to focus on the conversation with Ashley's father but all I can think about is having sex with Ashley, on the kitchen counter. So not appropriate when talking to Raife. _

"_So what are your future plans? Got any job offers yet?" _

_My God is it hot in here or is just my fiancée? _

"_I'm sorry what was that?" _

_His eyes dance as he smiles at me knowingly. I love that he can see how much Ashley and I love each other, he accepts us fully. Christine hates me but I really can't blame her. _

"_A job, have any offers yet?" _

"_Oh yeah sorry. Um yes a few colleges here in Ohio have offered so I'm still debating which one but I'm all set to live here permanently." _

_Would you look at her? She throws her head back and laughs deeply from her stomach causing certain parts of her body to bounce, she's going to kill me. _

"_Well that's wonderful Spence, congratulations." _

_I nod absentmindedly as I gawk at Ashley. _

"_Would you excuse me for a minute?" _

_Raife raises his eyebrows skeptically at my question and gives me a soft smile. As I start to walk away his words stop me._

"_She's a very lucky woman to have you Spencer and I'm so glad that you're going to be a part of this family. Now I should go find Christine and make sure she's not drinking too much champagne." _

_With a wink and a smile Raife Davies, the kindest man I know, walks off to find his wife. I'm by the huddle of people around Ashley in three steps and I grab her wrist quickly._

"_I'm sorry can I borrow her for a second?" _

_Without waiting for a reply I practically drag her upstairs to Kyla's room. _

"_Spencer what the he---Oh my God."_

_I shove her against the wall and attack her neck. Oh she tastes so good and her skin is so soft. Her knee jabs into me and I let out a loud moan before grabbing at her pretty, little white vest._

"_This…needs…to…come…off." _

_Her lips are blazing a trail across my collarbone as I fumble with the buttons of her vest._

"_Screw it."_

_I mumble against her chest before ripping the vest clean off her._

"_Damn baby that was hot."_

_Her voice is rough and husky as she stands there in front of me in her red bra and tight white slacks; she is the definition of sexy. I practically tackle her onto the bed and tug her pants off. My hands and lips seem to have a mind of their own as I kiss her and touch her everywhere. _

_Just before I can finish her off a knock at the door followed by an angry voice startles me._

"_ASHLEY! SPENCER! I KNOW YOU ARE IN THERE! OH MY GOD ARE YOU HAVING SEX ON MY BED? WHILE ALL YOUR GUESTS ARE DOWNSTAIRS! ANSWER ME!" _

_Kyla sounds beyond pissed and Ashley grins sheepishly at me, her eyes still dark with want. _

"_We could escape out the window?" _

_She giggles at my suggestion and my heart swells with laugh at her innocence. _

"_Nah we should face the music and you should get dressed. Ooo sorry about your vest baby." _

_I stand and walk to the door only opening it wide enough to poke my head out. There stands Kyla, baby on hip and death glare in her eye. _

"_Tell me you didn't have sex on my bed?" _

_Her eyes narrow and I swallow nervously before giving her a toothy grin._

"_We didn't finish, how's that?" _

_She rolls her eyes and I bite my lip to keep from laughing._

"_Well tell Ash to get dressed and then you need to come downstairs to finish this party."_

_I give her an enthusiastic nod._

"_Oh wait, um could Ashley borrow a shirt?"_

_Her voice interrupts from where she lays on the bed. _

"_And a bra!"_

_I look at her quizzically over my should where she is holding her bra in two pieces, oops my bad,_

"_Oh and a bra?" _

_My hopeful smile seems to piss Kyla off more and she hands me Alexis before pulling me into the hallway and going into her bedroom herself._

"_You," she points at me, "stay here with the baby. And you…"_

_Her voice trails off as she closes the door and starts lecturing Ashley. My goofy smile earns me a giggle from Alexis and her tiny fingers poke at my face. _

_A few minutes and several silly faces later Kyla huffs out of the room, takes Alexis and waltzes down the stairs. A blushing Ashley walks out seconds later and at the sight of each other we start cracking up with laughter. _

"_Well that could have been bad."_

_She chuckles the words as we link arms and go back downstairs…_

We laugh loudly as we recount the story to our friends and Kyla just shakes her head. Ashley gives me quick kiss and I thank her with a brilliant smile.

"You two are idiots."

Well I guess Kyla's opinion of the situation hasn't changed at all over the years.

**Just a short little fluff for you. I didn't think I'd get any done so this is a pretty big deal! Thanks for everything, including the support.**


	15. Wheel of the World

**I own no part of SON**

**Peace and love to all! **

As I bring the beer bottle to my lips I crack a slight smile as I watch the sky change colors, the waves the only noise invading my senses. Splashes of pink and orange and red smear across the sky and I relish in my last Mexico sunset. We head home tomorrow morning and this vacation has been nothing short of amazing.

This week has helped us all. Glen and Kyla are well on their way back to happy and I've watched with a smile as Becky falls even more in love with Christian. But what makes me happiest, what fulfills me the most is the way Ashley and I have been together. She's spent all week looking at me like I'm the reason she breathes or her heart beats. It's incredible knowing that you're someone's whole world.

"Spence, you ok?"

I turn my attention away from the crashing waves to where Becky stands beside me with a questioning look in her eyes.

"Yeah I'm cool Becks. What a vacation huh? I'm sad it's over."

She gives me a knowing smile and maneuvers herself into the chair next to mine.

"Yeah aren't you ready to see your baby girl though? I'm sure that little girl misses her mommies."

My eyes follow a nearby sailboat gliding through the crystal blue waters and I nod in agreement.

"I do I miss her so much."

My heart aches at the thought of my daughter. This week has been amazing but I want Ripley back in my arms, I can only imagine how my overly emotional wife feels.

As if on cue I hear her husky laugh as the rest of the gang joins us. She sits on my lap and smiles brilliantly at me. Her eyes outshine the setting sun behind her and I lean up slightly, pressing my lips to hers in a gentle kiss.

"Ready to go home baby?"

I already know the answer to my own question but for some reason I need to hear her voice. Her arms slip around my neck and she bumps her nose against mine with a loving smile on her gorgeous face.

"Yes and no. I miss Ripley so much but since we've been away so long she'll never leave us alone again, which means…"

"No sex."

I finish her sentence with, what I'm sure is a pathetic, look on my face. Oh God I didn't even think about that. Ashley's musical laugh rings in my ears and I can't help but smile up at her bright eyes. God she's gorgeous. Almost like she hears my thoughts she blushes a deep shade of red.

"Baby stop you're making me blush."

I give her a quizzical look and then it hits me.

"Oh shit I said that out loud didn't I?"

I feel my own blush spread up my neck and Ashley giggles at my realization as I bury my face in her neck. The scent of her perfume on her neck is so addictive that I have to taste her, my lips pressing against the hollow of her throat. My hands seem to have a mind of their own as I start sliding them up her shirt to stroke her toned stomach.

"Hey! Hey you two knock it off!"

I detach my lips from Ashley's soft neck and through hazed eyes try to find who yelled at us. Ashley chuckles at the hazy look on my face and I start to feel the effects of drinking several beers tonight.

As my gaze lands on my stupid brother and the smirk on his face a goofy grin comes to rest on my own face.

"God she's drunk."

Ooo Becks, I love her. I climb out from under my wife and scramble into Becky's lap who is already sitting on Christian's lap.

"Whoa watch the baby bump Spence."

I give my friend a drunken smile and give her a tight hug as I cuddle into her.

"Becky I freakin love you and your unborn child. Oh My God you should name your baby Spencer then it wouldn't matter if it's a boy or girl!"

Everyone bursts out in laughter and it pisses me off a little. Damn I thought it was a good idea. Ashley's warm gaze lands on mine as she looks at me with twinkling eyes. She opens her arms and signals for me to come back to her.

Grinning I place a sloppy kiss against Becky's cheek before launching myself into Ashley's arms.

"Ash I really don't think you should let her drink anymore tonight."

Psh Glen himself sounds a little drunk and I do my best to scowl at him from where my head rests on Ash's shoulder. My eyes flutter closed at the feeling of her running her fingers through my hair.

"Nah you're fine aren't you baby girl?"

My head feels heavy as I lift it off her shoulder to grin at her. As I'm staring into Ashley's deep, dark eyes I feel several people kiss my head.

"Ashley we're all gonna hit the hay since we have to be up early for the flight. Goodnight Spence, goodnight Ash."

I smile as I watch the other four retreat back into our condo, leaving me alone with Ashley under the bright stars of Mexico.

"Hey."

Ashley's husky voice breaks my very drunken thoughts and I look at her through half lidded eyes. She's so pretty.

"Hi gorgeous."

Her musical laugh makes me swoon and I can't help but grin widely.

"Hmm I remember the last time you were drunk like this. You told me you were going to marry me someday."

Her fingers trace patterns on my face as I run my own fingers down her neck along her collarbone.

"Well I was true to my word wasn't I?"

She grins right as I lean down and press my lips to hers. Ashley pulls away quicker then I want and I whimper in protest.

"Ugh gross Spencer you taste like booze."

She wrinkles her nose adorably and it's so irresistible I give her quick peck on the nose before untangling myself from her limbs.

"Come on baby I wanna sex you up Mexico style one more time."

She throws her head back and laughs from deep down in her stomach as I pull her to her feet. Her eyes dance as I lead her clumsily through the now dark and seemingly empty condo.

"You are crazy!"

Yeah baby crazy for you.

X X X X X X X X X X

Ashley is practically bouncing next to me as our airplane screeches to a stop back in Ohio. How she has this much energy is beyond me? I mean we were up allll night doing…well ya know.

"Spencer we're here!"

Her elbow jabs me in the side causing me to sit up straighter and push my oversized sunglasses further on my face.

"Damn Ash quit poking me and shit."

My grumble seems to piss her off because I hear her scoff next to me and I can practically feel her roll her eyes at me.

"You know I was up all night too and I'm not acting like a bitch."

This time I roll my eyes but keep my mouth shut. I know better than to piss with an anxious Ashley who wants nothing more then to be with her daughter.

Ashley almost sprints off the plane and I drag my feet behind her, grumbling about her having too much caffeine.

My mood brightens immediately when I hear her voice.

"MOMMA! MOMMY!"

The voice of my daughter causes a wide smile to break across my face as I watch Ashley scoop Ripley into her arms, happy tears rolling down my wife's face. They are the picture of adorable as they hug tightly with identical grins on their faces.

"Mommy!"

Ripley's little arms reach out for me and Ashley passes me our daughter as she exchanges words with Christine.

"Why hello precious. How was your week with Grandma?"

Ripley doesn't say anything just clings to me tighter as I walk hand in hand with Ashley out of the airport.

"Is she awake?"

Ashley shakes her head no as Ripley sleeps soundly on my shoulder. By the time we get home it's still only like seven in the morning. The sight of Becky and Christian at our doorstep takes me by surprise. I hand Ripley to Ashley as they make their way in the house and I approach a crying Christian and equally shaken Becky.

"Guys what the hell is going on?"

Christian opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out as tears just roll harder down his face. I'm in shock watching this strong man cry because he has always been the picture of composed.

"Spence, it's… Spencer its Bobby. He died in a car crash last night sweetie."

The news literally knocks me on my ass as I collapse onto our front steps.

"Oh my God."

Becky rushes to my side and wraps a comforting arm around me.

"I know you guys were still pretty close. I am so sorry Spence."

I try to give Christian an apology with my eyes as I hear the front door open and then slam shut again. Soon the presence of Ashley invades my sense as Becky returns to Christian's side and Ashley's strong embrace holds me tight.

Bobby gone, Bobby dead.

The tears roll silently down my face and when I look at Ash even she has tears swimming in her eyes.

"When's the funeral and where?"

To my surprise I find myself seated in our living room a cup of steaming coffee in my hand. Where did Becky and Christian go? God I remember the last time I actually saw Bobby…

_Her lips are warm and wet as we sit on the couch just making out, my hands running over her slightly swollen stomach. God she's the sexiest pregnant woman ever. _

"_Spence…the door." _

_Her panting drives me even more insane and I shake my head pushing myself further into her._

"_No Spencer seriously go answer the door." _

_She pushes me back slightly but I continue to try and kiss her. Ashley giggles against my mouth before I give her once last peck and practically skip to answer the door. I gotta get rid of whoever it is quick and continue with the groping I was previously doing. _

_Pulling open the door my mouth drops open and he gives me a devilish grin._

"_Bet you weren't expecting me?" _

_There stands Bobby with a bouquet of wildflowers and his familiar kind eyes. I squeal and launch myself into his arms, the old scent of his cologne filling my head. We've been emailing since Becky and Christian's wedding, much to Ashley's dislike. _

"_Baby who's here…"_

_Her voice trails off when she sees him standing there and he gives her a sheepish grin before his eyes widen when they land on her swollen stomach._

"_Wow Spence nicely done." _

_His comment causes even Ashley to smile as we lead him into our house. I smile up at him as I walk next to him, God I forgot how tall he was. _

"_What are you doing back in Ohio?" _

_Ashley's question isn't mean or accusing, just curious but I keep a cautious eye on her anyway. She's a little hormonal these days. I shudder as I remember her yelling at me earlier this morning for leaving crumbs on the kitchen table. _

"_Oh just visiting Christian and I couldn't pass up the opportunity to see you guys. You look great by the way Ashley, glowing even." _

_His charm works as a blush creeps across her cheeks and she smiles warmly._

"_Thank you. Would you like some coffee?" _

_He nods and thanks her as she leaves us alone to go make some coffee. I can't help the satisfied smile that is on my face as I stare at my friend. My mouth drops again when I notice his left hand._

"_Oh my God you're married???" _

_His eyes dance and he nods happily as he launches into a story about his wife…_

"Baby its all happening in Ohio, this weekend. I guess he put in his will he wanted to be buried here, if all possible close to Aiden."

Ah Jesus I think my heart is breaking.

**Thank you guys for everything. I love you all. **


	16. With You, Without You

**I own no part of SON**

**Peace and love to all! **

It's appropriate that it's raining. There rain is so steady it makes what looks like a solid sheet in front of my face. The steady drizzle helps hide my constant stream of tears running down my face.

Ashley's hand squeezes my own every few seconds, her constant reminder that she's here for me. Every time she squeezes my hand my tears just fall harder and she nuzzles my cheek comfortingly.

The hardest part is watching the broken woman standing across from me as she clings to a child that can't be more than two years old. The young boy has his father's eyes and my heart aches with the knowledge that he'll grow up not knowing how wonderful Bobby was.

The priest finishes his sermon right as the rain comes to a halt and thin beams of sunlight break through the dark, stormy clouds.

The final amen is murmured by everyone in attendance and it feels like someone punches me in the stomach. This is it, this is the final goodbye. Ashley's soft lips pressing against the side of my face gives me a small comfort and I step even closer to her.

"Can we go see Aiden?"

Ashley gives me a small nod and we walk the 50 or so feet to where my very first love lays.

"Do you want me to give you a minute?"

We do this every time we visit, Ashley makes the effort to give me space and I always prefer to have her with me. I don't give her a verbal answer; just pull her closer to me. I trace the familiar letters of his name and allow a small smile to play at the corners of my lips.

"I love you."

Ashley sets a single red rose on the polished stone and gives Aiden's grave a small smile. At this moment I fall even more in love with her as I see her having a private conversation in her head with the boy I loved. When she stands from squatting in front of the grave I step into her and press my lips forcefully against hers.

As I kiss her the image of Bobby's devastated wife flashes through my head and it only causes me to kiss Ashley harder. God I'd die if I ever lost her and it's hitting me right now as we stand in a place that knows no happiness. I can feel her concern and confusion behind her kiss but the need to feel her is overpowering.

"Shh baby its ok."

I didn't even realize I was practically sobbing until Ashley's arms are keeping me from collapsing on the wet ground.

"Spencer breathe. I've got you baby, don't cry."

My tears land on her shoulder as I bury my face deep into the crook of her neck. Her hands rub soothingly up and down my arms while she coos in my ear, occasionally kissing the top of my head.

"Don't ever leave me, ok? If I lost you I don't think I'd make it."

I can tell she's taking me seriously as she nods and places a soft kiss to my forehead.

"Spencer I'm not going anywhere, promise."

Ashley leans in and gives me a lingering kiss that leaves my knees weak before pulling back, complete love shining at me from her dark eyes.

Her soft hand finds its way to mine and we start the lonely trek to where everyone is gathered for the after funeral drunkenness. Of course what better a place then the bar we used to all hang out at?

When we walk in the lights are out and there are several candles burning along the bar. I immediately accept the shot Becky puts in my hands. My eyes find Christian and he gives me a sad nod.

"To my best friend and the best man I've ever known. He lived and loved more than any other person I know, to Bobby."

By the end of his toast Christian has tears rolling down his face and we all raise our glasses with him. I throw mine back as fast as possible, my face scrunching up as the liquid burns its way down my throat.

Ashley generously places another shot in front of me and gives me an understanding smile when I throw this shot back as quick as I did the first one. I settle myself on my wife's lap as we sit and talk to Becky.

"Uh excuse me?"

A meek voice catches my attention and I turn in Ashley's lap to face where the voice came from. My eyes land on the small woman standing nervously in front of us and I recognize her immediately, its Bobby's wife and she's holding the hand of her little boy.

"You're Spencer right?"

The woman's eyes are puffy and red from the constant crying and her voice is so tired. I swallow down the lump in my throat as I stare at the little boy gazing at me with curious eyes.

"Yeah that's me."

Her eyes fill up with tears and before I know it her arms are around me squeezing me tight. Sobs rack through her body as she clings to me and I allow the silent tears to fall freely down my face.

The smaller woman hugging me pulls back and starts wiping tears away from her eyes. She's the picture of shattered and my heart aches for her loss.

"Bobby used to talk about you so much. I was always jealous of you in a way. Sometimes I thought he never got over you."

Her smile is a pained one and I look pleadingly behind me to my rock. Ashley's staring at me with worried eyes and she's poised, ready to be by my side in an instant. I give her a small nod before turning back to the woman in front of me.

"I never loved him more than a brother or friend. See that woman right there?"

Her gaze follows my gesture to where Ashley now sits laughing at Becky. I can't help but smile at the sight of my wife.

"I am so totally, inexplicably in love with her it is not even funny. Even when Bobby lived here I was completely in love with that woman. From his emails and phone calls Bobby loved you very much. It's Kelly right?"

I stick my hand out and she shakes it generously, her smile brightening at my previous statement.

"Yes and this," she pushes the little boy forward from behind her legs, "is Jacob Spencer."

At the mention of his name a small gasp escapes me. Jacob _Spencer_, I cannot believe Bobby named his son after me. I bend down so I'm eye level with the small boy whose eyes are identical to his father's.

"Why hi there Jacob, my name is Spencer. I'm a friend of your father's. How old are you?"

The young boy rubs his eye and holds up two small fingers. My God he is the picture of adorable.

"I two and a half."

His voice is quiet but I'm close enough I can hear him clearly. The sound of his voice causes me to smile and he grins back at me.

"That's so grown up of you. I have a little girl who is almost four. Wanna see a picture of her?"

Jacob nods with wide eyes as I pull a picture of Rip out of my pocket. I hand the photo of my daughter to the young boy and watch him stare at the image with fascination on his face.

"She pwetty."

"Honey say goodbye to Spencer, we need to get you home and to bed."

I smile warmly at the little boy and start crying again when he wraps his tiny arms around me, squeezing tightly. I watch through a tearful gaze as mother and son walk away hand in hand. Jacob glances over his shoulder one last time and gives me a small wave before disappearing into the night.

"Hey you ok?"

Her hand is on my shoulder and her lips press against the back of my neck, her concerned voice fills my head. I love her so much. I lean my head back against her shoulder and allow her arms to encircle me.

"Yeah I think so. Can we go home to our little girl now?"

Ashley turns me in her arms so we're staring into each other's eyes and she gives me soft smile before kissing me gently.

"Yeah baby let's go."

After picking up Ripley from Ashley's parent's house we drive the short distance to where our little house rests. Ashley carries our sleeping daughter into the master bedroom where all three of us change for bed.

That night the three of us sleep cuddled together, our perfect little family and I can't help but be thankful. I'm so lucky and blessed to hold the one I am in love with and share a child with her.

Before I drift to sleep I say a silent prayer for Bobby and his family that now mourns his absence. Ashley mumbles incoherently in her sleep and snuggles even closer into me, our daughter nestled between us. It doesn't get better than this.

**My apologies for the delay. For those of you who read Truth, I think I'm going to finish this one completely then finish the other. Thanks for everything, I love you.**


	17. You and Me

**I own no part of SON**

**Peace and love to all!**

Her childlike laughter brings a smile to my face as I watch her bounce around the park. Sunday mornings are always my favorite because it's my morning to take Rip to the park to meet Kyla and her girls. We're here kind of early this morning so Ripley is spending her time chasing butterflies before her playmates get here.

"Girls be careful!"

Two small, childish blurs race past me rushed words reaching my ears.

"Hey Aunt Spencer!"

"Hiya Spence!"

Alexis and Emma squeal with delight at seeing Ripley and the three of them soon engage in some sort of game through the jungle gym.

"Hey Spence."

Kyla kisses the top of my head before handing me a coffee and taking her place next to me.

"Hi Ky, how is everything?"

When I ask her how 'everything' is going we both know I mean her and Glen. She gives a small smile and runs her fingers through her hair, her gaze never leaving the three children playing.

"Slow and steady, slow and steady. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow and of course he said he was taking me, so that's a really good sign."

She takes a slow sip of coffee and the more I look the more I see traces of exhaustion in her face. Things are worse then she is letting on but I'm not going to push her, I don't want her cracking.

"Well if you two can't figure it out there's no hope for the rest of us."

She finally laughs and when she faces me there's actual happiness in her eyes.

"Oh please Spence you and Ashley are the poster children for a happy, loving relationship. Where is my ignorant sister anyway?"

The mere mention of Ashley causes me to blush slightly and smile lovingly. Now my gaze stays trained on the three little girls as I answer Kyla's question.

"Oh she's still in bed."

I bite my lip to keep from laughing as Kyla chokes on her coffee, sputtering and spitting before she rolls her eyes at me.

"I don't even want to know."

We both laugh and fall into an easy silence. The funny thing is Ashley isn't tired because we had mind blowing all-nighter sex, it's because we stayed up all night talking about everything but nothing at the same time, innocent whispers floating in the dark room. I can't count how many times either one of us said 'I love you' or how many times she told me how amazing I am or how many times I told her that she was my world.

The nights we spend together like that are almost better then sex, _almost_ but probably not quite.

Ripley bounces up to me with dirt smeared across her face and her hair a mess. I roll my eyes at her appearance and do my best to smooth down her hair.

"What's up baby girl?"

"I phirsty. Can I have water?"

I rummage around the large bag sitting at my feet and pull her water bottle out. As she drinks droplets run down her face turning the dirt into mud. I am so making Ash clean her up when I get home.

"So Ash has that job interview tomorrow right? You think she'll get it?"

Before Ripley leaves and I answer Kyla's question I make my daughter give me a kiss. I swat her butt as she runs away and I turn to my friend with a smile on my face.

"Yeah she goes tomorrow and as long as she doesn't act like a complete freak she should be fine."

Kyla scoffs next to me and mumbles under her breath.

"Don't hold your breath on the whole acting like a freak thing."

X X X X X X X X X X

Ripley is passed out as I walk into the house and I'm having some trouble holding her and opening the door at the same time. Just as I think I'm about to slip and either fall on my ass or drop my daughter two strong arms take Ripley from me and a pair of soft lips steal a quick kiss.

"Hey beautiful, have fun at the park?"

Her husky whisper sends a shiver down my spine as the weight of a sleeping Ripley leaves my arms. Oh thank God. I turn to face my wife and practically groan at the sight of her. She's standing there holding our daughter with a slight sweat coating her body clad only in a sports bra and shorts. She's been running and she _knows_ I love it right after she works out.

Someone wants some this afternoon and she might just get it.

My eyes roam her body and I know they've turned a dark shade of blue. Just the sight of her can ignite my body.

"Uh yeah it was uh, it was fine. Maybe you should go put Ripley down and then come back here."

Her eyes widen and she nods slowly as my eyes stayed glued to her.

"Yeah gimme like 20 seconds."

She's off in a flash as I collapse on the couch, my arm flung over my eyes. I'm all tingling and warm with love. It makes me smile. She makes me smile. She makes me feel just incredible. It can be the simplest thing too. The other day she stubbed her toe and when the words 'motherfucker' came out of her mouth it resulted in us having sex on the kitchen table, twice.

A smile spreads across my face as I lay there when I feel her body settle over mine.

"Hiya Spence."

I open my eyes just to start drowning in her twinkling brown ones. Her head tilts to the side slightly as we continue to just look at each other. I frown and squint my eyes looking closer at her hair.

"Baby is that a gray hair?"

She shrieks loud enough to make my ears bleed and I burst into laughter. My hands resting on her shoulders pull her down into me as I continue to chuckle.

"Spencer that is not funny."

She gives me a serious look and a slight pout. I lean up so that I can capture her bottom lip with mine and I moan when she deepens the kiss. Ashley pulls back first and rests her forehead against mine, her eyes still closed.

"You think we'll still be hot for each other even twenty years from now?"

Her question takes me off guard and I roll us on our sides so we are facing each other. I thread my fingers through her hair as her fingers stroke my arm, sending me into a new fit of tingles.

"Ashley of course, you're ridiculous."

"No Spencer, seriously I mean my looks will go, my hair will turn gray and ew my skin will get wrinkled. Will you still want me?"

The fears in her eyes show me just how serious she is and I cup her cheek with my palm. She's not like this very often, this vulnerable and doubtful person.

"Baby I will always want you. I don't want you just for your body. I mean I do but I'm not _just _attracted to your body. It is so much more. Even when you are gray and have sagging boobs I'll want you."

She gives me a nose crinkling smile and nestles deeper into me.

"I love you so much Spence, ya know that right? You know I love you more than anything?"

She brings her face out my neck to gaze into my eyes and I smile warmly and kiss her gently.

"I love you too Ash. Is everything ok?"

"It's just since Bobby's funeral I can't stop thinking about what my life would be without you, it'd be nothing. And I realized that I need to tell you every day how much I love you, how much I need you, how much I want you."

I swear in this instant my heart skips like three beats listening to the absolute sincerity behind her words and the raw emotion in her eyes.

"Dance with me?"

She looks surprised at my question but I get off the couch and slap on the stereo.

**Lying here with you  
I watch you while you sleep  
The dawn is closing in  
With every breath you breathe **

Oh this is perfect. I grin as I give Ashley a twirl and reel her back into me. Her delighted laughter just makes me grin bigger.

**I can feel the change  
The change you've made in me  
But will I ever see  
All the things you see in me**

She's still just wearing her running outfit so I run my hands down her almost bare back, loving the feeling of her skin under my fingers. Ashley smiles lazily as I trace patterns on the small of her back and her hands are linked behind my neck.

**When you say that I'm one of a kind  
Baby, I don't see it but you believe  
That I'm so strong and true, I promise you  
I'll try to be that kind of man  
Because you love me like I am**

"I love dancing with you."

She says it and kisses me deeply before pulling back slightly.

"Mm I love dancing with you too, especially when you're dressed like this."

My words are mumbled against her lips as I kiss and talk.

**When it comes to love  
I may not know the rules  
But there's one thing I know  
My heart belongs to you, just you  
You show me you love me  
With a fire that burns deep inside ****  
I am  
I'll never understand  
I don't think I'll ever understand  
Why you love me  
Why you love me just like I am**

Her fingers grab the hem of my shirt and start tugging upwards. You know slow dancing might be my new favorite thing, ever.

**Thank you for everything, you guys rock.**


	18. Fallin' Apart

**I own no part of SON**

**Peace and love to all!**

"Ooo go for the straight baby!"

She's telling me what to do _again_, like she thinks I don't know how to play poker. I roll my eyes before focusing back on the computer screen. Damnit nothing on the turn.

"Right got it Ash. When's the interview?"

She glances at the clock and her eyes get wide. Ah shit I needed a King on the river not a freakin two.

"I have to be there in twenty minutes, so can you take Rip to school and why aren't you dressed for work?"

I fake cough and give her my best puppy dog eyes complete with quivering bottom lip.

"I'm sick, can't make it in to work today."

This time she's the one rolling her eyes but she's smiling at the same time. As she hurries past me I receive a quick kiss to the side of my head sending my glasses tumbling to the desk. Just one more hand then I'll check on Ripley.

"SPENCER GET RIPLEY READY NOW!"

Ok scratch that last thought I think I'll do what she says. I secure my glasses back on my face and take off in search of the miniature Ashley. I find our beautiful daughter still passed out in her bed with her dark curls poking out from under the comforter.

"Rip come on sweetie, time to get up now."

Ripley mumbles and turns over in her sleep, still not completely awake.

"Well if you get up now I'll make pancakes."

Just like that Ripley jumps out of bed kissing my cheek before sprinting to the bathroom. God she's growing up so fast. Her 4th birthday is a few weeks away.

I drag myself back downstairs to start the pancakes I promised my daughter when I spot the note on the table.

_Spence,_

_I'll call you after the interview. I love you._

_Xoxo Ash_

A simple note, that is all it takes to get me grinning like an idiot the rest of the morning.

X X X X X X X X X X

I'm now standing in the produce aisle of the grocery store trying to buy some freaking food. Why are there 10 billion different kinds of apples? Seriously an apple's an apple. My phone starts vibrating furiously in my purse and I scramble to answer it, dropping some apples in the process.

"Son of a bitch."

I talk right as I answer the phone.

"_What did you call me?" _

"No no no the app- forget it. Did you get the job?!?!"

Ashley releases a long sigh before answering me. I bend over to start picking up the apples and realize I must look pathetic. I'm dressed in sweats with my hair up in a messy whatever and my glasses perched on my face, oh and to top it all off I'm chasing apples around the store.

"_Meet me at Louie's in ten?"_

She sounds worried and anxious. My poor baby probably didn't get it.

"Yeah sure I'll be there."

I hang up the phone with what feels like elephants walking around my stomach aaand I'm still on all fours picking up apples.

"Would you like a hand with that?"

My eyes travel up a pair of bare, tan legs to find a smiling girl, about 22ish I would guess, standing above me with a brilliant smile on her face. She is gorgeous and I don't really notice other women being pretty except Ashley.

"Uh sure."

Her smile grows wider and her grey eyes seem to dance as she starts helping me clean up the mess. After we've put all the apples back she sticks her hand out and smiles at me again.

"I'm Carmen."

She tucks a strand of long, black hair behind her ears.

"Spencer."

I shake her hand quickly as she stares at me and bites her bottom lip. Whoa I am a married woman so she needs to stop looking at me like that.

"Well then Spencer I hope I see you around."

She gives me a flirtatious wink and then saunters away while I stand there with my mouth hanging open. I think I just got hit on-ish by someone waaaaay too young and I am waaaaay too taken.

Crap Ashley! I take off at a jog to Louie's. She's gonna kill me!

X X X X X X X X X X

I am only a little bit late as I swing my car into the parking space next to Ashley's flashy Porsche. As I'm rushing out of my car I drop my phone and I'm beginning to realize this is just not my day.

She's sitting in our favorite booth near the back and I give the bartender a smile before seating myself across from my very nervous looking wife. She doesn't even look at me when I sit down and my stomach drops. This is going to be really bad, like really freakin bad.

"Ash? Hey what's up baby?"

Brown finally meets blue when she brings her gaze to meet mine and I do not like what I see swimming around in her eyes.

"I got the job."

A small smile plays on her lips but the fear and sadness is still present in her eyes.

"Ok well congratulations but something's wrong. What is going on Ashley?"

She closes her eyes and licks her lips, waiting several beats before answering me.

"The job is in L.A."

Wait she whispered maybe, just maybe I didn't hear her right.

"I'm sorry I'm sure I heard you wrong. What did you say Ash?"

"The fucking job is in California!"

She slams her fist on the table causing her water glass to overflow a little and me to jump in my seat. I can feel myself getting angry and I narrow my eyes at the flushed woman across from me.

"Well you told them no right? We have a life here and family."

Her whole body slumps and her tired eyes lock with mine.

"I told them I'd think about it, they gave me a week."

"Ashley what is there to think about! We are not moving out there."

We are beginning to cause a scene but that is not what I'm concerned about at the moment.

"Come on Spence this is a great opportunity for me and the money is good and you'd love L.A."

I take a deep drink of water trying to keep my temper in check.

"We don't even need the money Ashley. I'm only working because I like it. It's not fair to Rip to uproot her like this. Do you remember your reaction when I got the job in New York?"…

"_ASH! Baby I got the job!" _

_She grins and grabs my face giving me a kiss that is not appropriate for the very public coffee house we are in._

"_I am so proud of you Spence. Congrats baby!"_

_I grab both her hands and take a deep breath._

"_Ashley the job is in New York. I think we should go."_

_Suddenly her hands aren't in mine anymore and her face becomes cold._

"_Absolutely not, I'm not leaving my friends and family. If you go, you go without me."…_

"So I'm going to repeat the words to you that you so nicely told me. If you go, you go without me and our daughter."

Before she can say anything else her phone rings loudly and she scowls at me before answering.

"Hello? What? No, no we're together. We'll be right there."

She hangs up and right now she looks years older then she really is. I feel a pang of sympathy but it passes when she looks at me with an icy expression.

"Ripley got in a fight at school. They want us both there."

I stand quickly and storm towards the door.

"Let's drive together."

I almost laugh out loud at Ashley's suggestion, instead I turn and face her not hiding my anger.

"I'd rather not."

She looks so hurt by my words I almost reconsider my previous statement but end up alone in my car trying to keep the tears at bay.

X X X X X X X X X X

"We are unsure of how to handle this situation since she was provoked but she cannot go unpunished."

The principal/keeper of the little kids at the preschool has the most annoying high pitched voice I have ever heard and she's looking at Ashley like a piece of meat. This bitch is gonna end up with my foot up her ass.

"How exactly was she provoked?"

Ashley is in full on parent mode and asking all the right questions. If I wasn't beyond pissed at her I would be oh so proud.

"Well the young boy she hit told her that she didn't have real parents and that you were living in sin. Something like that."

My blood boils and I clutch the bottom of my chair, my knuckles turning white.

"I'm sorry but was he punished for saying this?"

This time I'll take the reins on this one.

"Oh no we can't really prove he said anything. Besides here we can't challenge morals or beliefs taught at home."

Now I'm standing and I brush away Ashley's hand that tries to pull me back down to my chair.

"Are you fucking kidding me? No wonder she hit him sounds like that little prick deserved it!"

The woman's mouth falls open and Ashley grabs my wrist spinning me to face her.

"Why don't you wait outside Spencer? You need to go cool off."

I stare into Ashley's eyes for a moment before shaking my head at her and stomping out of the cramped office.

I don't wait inside but find myself sitting on a lone bench outside, my head resting in my hands and angry tears building in my eyes. It's so unfair that Ripley has to try and deal with all of this, with ignorant people who reject what they can't understand.

"Mommy!"

I turn my head to see Ripley running up to me and when she reaches me I gather her in my arms and squeeze her tight.

"Oh Ripley."

I brush some unruly curls out of her face and give her a kiss on the forehead.

"Mommy you mad at me for hitting Mikey?"

I want so bad to say no and tell her the asshole deserved it but she has to realize this is not how you deal with things you don't like.

"Yes I am. Hitting people is not ok, no matter what they say to you. Now let's get you home and we'll talk about it more."

As I'm buckling Ripley in I hear a familiar husky laugh and when I turn around I see Ashley with the principal. I watch as the principal trails her hand down my wife's arm as Ashley laughs again before walking over to me.

"Is she ok?"

Ashley tries to look into the car but I give her a slight push back.

"She's fine."

"What the hell Spencer?"

I get into my car and start the engine, jealousy and anger coursing through my veins.

"I'll see you at home."

Ashley's confused and hurt expression stays with me the whole drive home with Ripley's worried eyes trained on me through the rearview mirror.

**Thanks for everything, as always you guys are awesome. Oooo lots of unsolved drama in this one. **

**DarceLynn its like you can sense when this is coming!**


	19. I'm Gone, I'm Going

**I own on part of SON**

**Peace and love to all!**

As I pull into the driveway I notice Ashley's car is already parked. I don't know how she beat me here; she must have driven like a madwoman. I slowly put the car in park and climb out to unbuckle Ripley.

"Mommy is you mad at Momma?"

Staring into her wide brown eyes I realize I can't lie to her because this involves her too.

"Yeah baby we're fighting right now."

Her eyes well up with tears and her bottom lip starts quivering.

"Is it cuz I hit Mikey?"

My mouth drops open with shock and I quickly hug Ripley close.

"No baby girl this is not your fault. We are having grown up problems."

I wipe her tears away and we walk hand in hand into the house. Ashley is sitting at the kitchen counter arms crossed and a frown on her face. I don't even want to look at her right now I'm so fed up with her.

"Ripley sweetie why don't you go to your room and play for a while, I'll call you when dinner is ready."

Ripley gives me a small nod and goes up to Ashley giving her a quick hug before racing upstairs.

"Spencer we need to talk."

I take a deep, steadying breath as I open the fridge and grab a bottle of water.

"Honestly Ashley I don't want to talk to you, I don't even want to be around you."

When I turn around I'm met with hurt, shocked eyes.

"Really mature Spencer. When things get tough you'd rather just run away."

"Oh don't tempt me. At this point running away sounds really nice, then you can go to L.A. for your perfect little job!"

Ashley practically jumps out of her chair and takes a step closer to me.

"Ugh you are so infuriating! I said I'd think about it. I was hoping I could talk to my _wife_ about it but all I see here is a child!"

The sound of me slamming my water bottle down echoes through our small house.

"Oh fuck you Ashley! Who wouldn't stand up for our daughter today? Who was too busy flirting with that skank of a principal?"

Now I'm almost screaming as I flail my arms around. She's scowling and her face is red from our argument. I'm sure I look similar.

"That's bullshit Spencer and you know it. I was trying to handle the situation like an _adult_ but you would have no idea about that, would you?"

My hands ball into fists at my sides and I'm shaking with anger.

"Screw you. I'm going out, don't wait up."

She follows me as I start to walk out of the house.

"Fine go I don't even fucking care!"

I turn around with a hurt expression on my face to find her breathing hard with a stony look on her pretty face.

"I said fucking GO!"

She shoves me by the shoulders and rage pumps through my system.

"Fine goodnight _darling_."

I slam the door shut as loud as I can and it brings a satisfied smile to my face. I pause mid-step on my way to my car, I contemplate going back inside and fixing this but the sound of loud, angry music reaches my ears and I shake my head before climbing into my car. I need a drink.

X X X X X X X X X X

The liquid burns my throat as I pound my fourth, wait no fifth shot of tequila. I'm right in this fight, she's wrong. Right? My heading is swimming and I can't really think straight.

"Are you stalking me?"

My very tipsy almost drunken gaze lands on the girl from the grocery store. What was her name again? Something kinda Mexican…

"Carmen what'll you have?"

Carmen! That's right, Carmen with the long legs and pretty eyes. Whoa no no no bad Spencer.

"Oh you wish I was stalking you."

Did that seriously just come out of my mouth? Do not flirt with her no matter how mad you are at Ashley. Stupid Spencer, stupid stupid stupid.

Her eyes twinkle as she smiles devilishly at me.

"You're right I do but a girl can dream right?"

I roll my eyes as she throws back a shot. Before wiping her mouth and grinning at me.

"How old are you?"

The question leaves my mouth before I can even realize I've been dying to ask her since I met her.

"Age is just a number but if you must know, I'm 21."

I groan before downing another two drinks. Dear Lord please help me stay strong.

"I'm married."

Her gray eyes dart to the ring on my left hand before staring at my lips a little too long then traveling to my eyes.

"So, why does it look like you are here by yourself drowning your sorrows in tequila shots?"

Well I'm pretty drunk and pissed so spilling my guts right now seems reasonable.

"My wife thinks I'm childish and she flirts with skanky principals."

The corners of Carmen's mouth twitch with amusement as she sits down almost too close to me.

"Well then how bout I buy you another drink?"

Now here is a pivotal moment in my life; stay and drink with the hot mysterious stranger or go home and fix things with Ashley. Her eyes seem to dare me as she stares at me and I think I'm about to make a mistake but I'm drunk and hurt so here goes.

"Make it a double."

**Just a little teaser before bedtime. Don't worry I'll try not to leave you hanging too long…**

**A big thanks to those who've reviewed, read, added, etc**


	20. Teenage Love Affair

**I own no part of SON**

**Peace and love to you all!**

"…and then she kissed me after almost two years of being broken up."

I think I'm telling a complete stranger my entire life story. Yup I am definitely rambling on about my life.

The weird thing is Carmen actually looks interested and slightly amused.

"Sounds like a roller coaster of emotions, especially about the whole dead ex boyfriend thing."

Somehow her hand has come to rest on my thigh and it's nearing almost 2 am. God I should have left hours ago but Carmen is listening, like really listening and she really is nice.

"You realize I'm not going to cheat on my wife."

She smirks knowingly and her eyes narrow.

"So you got a picture of your kid or wife?"

Oh she wants to see my girls! I can feel my whole face light up and I start digging through my purse in search of the two pictures I carry everywhere with me.

"Here. Ripley is three and a half and this, well this is Ashley."

Her hand comes off my thigh to grab the picture and she smiles softly at the picture of Rip.

"God Spencer she's beautiful and whoa so is your wife, daaaaamn."

"Yeah she really is beautiful and stubborn and hot headed and unreasonable and amazing and caring and infuriating, all at the same time."

I feel a soft hand cup my cheek and I bring my heavy eyes to meet bright gray eyes. The innocence and naivety shining back at me reminds me of long ago when I saw the same thing in a pair of dark, brown eyes.

"Whatdya say I take you home? You can pick your car up tomorrow."

I am tired but I have no desire to face what I know is probably waiting for me at home. Carmen discusses something with the bartender but I can't comprehend any of it. A strong arm encircles my waist as I'm led to a strange car and helped into the front seat.

"Ok here we go, now where do you live?"

X X X X X X X X X X

She hugs me goodbye and I thank her for the millionth time. Phone numbers are exchanged and I stumble up the steps and into a dark house.

"Who was she? My God Spencer she's a child."

Her husky voice only amplifies the pulsing headache and my stomach churns.

"I think I'm gonna be sick."

Somehow I make it to the bathroom before I violently empty everything in my stomach. The shadow at the door catches my attention but I can't make out the expression on her face.

"Feel free to sleep on the couch tonight."

Thanks but I think I'll sleep right here.

X X X X X X X X X X

The sound of a vacuum running causes me to jolt awake, my stomach dangerously churning again. Oh I don't feel so good. The loud noise is killing my head and I can't really remember last night.

I finally push myself off the bathroom floor and walk cautiously to the kitchen. Not only is the vacuum running but Ashley is playing loud music. She may be trying to kill me.

Great no coffee, yup she is trying to kill me.

"Ripley is at my parents. You know she heard us last night? That little girl is terrified we're splitting up and you know what? I couldn't really find a way to comfort her because I didn't even know what is going on."

Her hand is secured firmly on her hip and her eyes are boring into me with what feels like laser beams.

"Can you like give me one freakin minute," her eyes go wide with anger, "_please_, Ashley I just need a minute."

My heavy feet carry me to the fridge where I grab some juice and a bagel. With a satisfied smile on my face I settle onto one of the kitchen chairs, munching happily on the cold bagel.

"Sorry princess are you ready now?"

Her voice is clipped and harsh. Well I was happy for half a second. I was almost over being pissed but the name calling is a little unnecessary.

"Ashley if this is about moving to L.A. I've made up my mind, Ripley and I aren't going."

"Fine you don't want to talk about the job how about we talk about your little girlfriend from last night!?!?!?"

Now I'm getting angry again and I violently stand up, knocking the chair over in the process.

"Goddamnit Ashley she isn't my girlfriend she is just a friend! Nothing happened!"

She laughs cynically and throws the rag she's been cleaning with.

"Right like nothing happened with that guy at that one party or Bobby or God knows who else!"

Her words hit me like a ton of bricks and I feel sick to my stomach but not because I was drinking last night.

"So that's what you think of me? You think I'm a whore who cheats on my wife whenever I get the chance?"

I can't even pretend to hide the hurt in my voice and my eyes. She really hurt me this time. Her face changes from angry to panicked in a matter of seconds.

"Wait no Spen-"

"Forget it. I'll be out getting some fresh air."

As I walk outside I dial a number that I probably shouldn't but Becky isn't answering her phone and I need someone who cares.

"_I didn't think you'd be alive today."_

"Can you come pick me up from my house?"

She must hear the desperation and pain in my voice because she answers quickly and without hesitation.

"_I'll be there in two minutes."_

I walk to the end of the street to wait for my ride. I don't want Ashley trying to talk to me right now. I am beyond hurt and mad.

A shiny red Mustang squeals to a stop in front of me and I can't help but smile at the sight of the Latina.

"Come on sexy let's get out of here!"

Her long, black hair is pulled back and there are oversized sunglasses perched on her face. With a sigh and a small smile I climb into the car, memories of my own youth flooding my head.

"So where to Spencer, don't tell me you want more to drink?"

She's driving fast, too fast for my liking as she grins recklessly at me.

"Ugh God no, how about lunch though? I'm starving."

She gives me a nod and takes a sharp turn.

"Lunch it is."

X X X X X X X X X X

I've just finished telling Carmen the entire story and she's looking at me with a blank expression.

"So any feedback would be good."

I don't know why I'm asking a 21 year old girl I barely know for help but I feel like I don't have many other appealing options.

"She thinks we're sleeping together?"

There's a hint of fear in her voice and her eyes widen slightly.

"Uh yeah."

"Ooh my God is she going to come after me? My parents don't even know I'm gay! Do you think you can convince her not to kill me?"

Her voice gets increasingly higher as she rambles on and it's getting increasingly harder not to laugh at her.

"Whoa whoa whoa Carmen, chill Ashley won't kill you. It's my blood she's after."

The color starts to return to Carmen's face and then she blushes hard.

"She is partially right. I do want you and I get it you're married and a little bit older than me."

"Actually I'm almost a decade older than you."

My correction earns me a sad smile from the younger girl sitting across from me. What kills me is I'm drawn to her too, now I'd never tell her that of course.

"Why is it that I meet the perfect woman but she's married?"

The mischievous twinkle is back in her eyes and I roll mine.

"Oh stop it. I'm sure you'll find someone. There's no doubt you're a pretty girl I can't believe you don't already have a girlfriend."

At the mention of a girlfriend Carmen ducks her head and gets the saddest look on her face.

"I did have a girlfriend. We dated for three years. When people started finding out she denied everything and said I made her do it. She stopped speaking to me all together. I loved her."

I shake my head and cover Carmen's hand that is resting on the table with my own.

"Hey, hang in there. It'll get better. I promise."

Carmen's gray eyes are full of unshed tears and I realize I'm not the only one with an aching heart right now.

"I'll take you home now. You should make up with your wife."

Don't I know it?

X X X X X X X X X X

My house has never looked so daunting. My cell phone has 13 missed calls from Ashley, 8 from Kyla, and 26 from Becky. I'll deal with those two later but right now I'm going to lock Ashley and I in the house and we are working this out for good.

I'm sick of all this fighting shit. The problem is I can't make myself go in the house. Great now it's raining but I still can't move, what the hell is my issue? No, I know what it is. I'm terrified I'm going to go in there and she'll have packed her bags and will have picked L.A.

Now it's been the better part of 20 minutes and I'm soaked. I see her head peek through the blinds then she's running towards me in the pouring rain.

"Spencer what in God's name are you doing out here?"

She's looking at me with concerned eyes and almost like she's waiting for me to explode.

"Did you take the job in L.A.?"

My voice is rough from standing here in silence for so long and she looks over her shoulder at the house.

"Come on let's talk inside."

"Did you take the job or not?"

I have to know before any of this can be ok, I need to know.

"No, fucking no Spencer. No job is worth not being with you!"

The way she says it, the look on her face and the tears trailing down her face show me just how much she means her own words.

"Ok, good."

The words have barely left my lips before I practically leap into her arms, my lips connecting with hers roughly. My hands tangle in her wet hair as hers cling to my back to keep me from falling. I cannot tell you who started the movement towards the house but my back is pinned against the front door and Ashley's tongue is halfway down my throat, but in the good way.

She pulls away and attacks my neck. The feeling of her licking my neck elicits a deep moan out of me. Dear God I missed this. My hands slide over a toned stomach and I kiss her shoulder. I hear her growl as quick fingers start to unbutton my pants.

"Baby inside, let's take it inside."

Her hot mouth kisses my chest as she nods and opens the door.

We don't even bother with a bed or couch but make up right on the hallway rug, over and over and over…

**There you can all stop freaking out, Spencer did not cheat! Stay tuned for more, having sex doesn't magically make it better. It should but we all know in reality it doesn't!!!**


	21. Crazy Little Thing Called Love

**I own no part of SON**

**My version of Carmen is supposed to look closer to Jordana Brewster, not the Carmen from the show.**

**Peace and love to all!**

She's still breathing hard next to me and sweat still coats my body. Her ragged breaths tickle warmly against my neck and she lays a sweet kiss against the skin there.

"Ashley you really hurt me."

She brings her face out from being buried in my neck and looks at me with confusion.

"Where are you hurt? Did I ride you too hard?"

She ends with a husky chuckle and runs her nose along my jawline, nipping at my mouth but I'm done playing around and I turn my head.

"No not just now, earlier. What you said, it hurt me really bad and it still kinda hurts."

Ashley hangs her head shamefully as I start to pull my clothes back on.

"Baby I don't know what to say except I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you, well yeah I guess I wanted to hurt you but not for real, not like this."

I stand pulling my jeans on as I do so and I can feel her eyes watching my every move. I hear her stand behind me, her own clothes being pulled back on.

"I don't know what you can do to make the hurt go away. I can't believe those things even came out of your mouth."

Hot tears start to well up in my eyes and then I feel her hug me from behind, a sweet kiss delivered to my still bare shoulder.

"Does it help if I say I love you? Does it make a difference if I tell you that I was insanely jealous or that I thought you were going to leave me? I was terrified Spence, I thought I was going to lose you and the idea of you leaving kills me. I couldn't live without you."

I turn in her arms and see silent tears falling down her beautiful face. My first instinct is to just walk away, she'd deserve it after what she's said and done but my heart aches for her.

My lips brush away the tears but she only cries harder.

"I don't deserve you."

Her words are chopped and broken, spoken in between her sobs. My hand slips into hers and I lead her to the couch.

"Ok Ashley let's talk all this shit out because fighting with you is too painful and we've been doing it too much recently."

She nods eagerly and her dark eyes start to clear up. I can tell she doesn't want to start and in all honesty neither do I but I guess I'll be the grown up for once.

"Her name is Carmen, she is 21 and I met her at the grocery store. She helped me pick up apples I dropped."

Her eyes are sad as I talk, like she is waiting for me to tell her I slept with Carmen or that I'm leaving her for Carmen. Trust me Carmen really has nothing on my wife.

"So nothing happened? I have to know Spencer and if something did happ-"

"No baby nothing happened. You know why she fascinates me?"

She does this adorable head tilt and the cutest frown appears on her face.

"No, why?"

I can't resist kissing her and I kiss her longer then is really necessary, loving that she clings to me desperately.

"Because she's you at 21, it's like seeing you at 21 all over again but I wouldn't trade the almost 30 year old Ashley for the younger version."

She looks at me with fascination and curiosity behind her dark eyes.

"How does she remind you of me?"

I scoot even closer to her and lay a kiss on her cheek.

"She drives an expensive car way too fast," kiss to her neck, "she's cocky to the point of obnoxious," kiss her other cheek, "her eyes are full of life like yours," kiss right below her ear, "and she wears those stupid giant sunglasses like you."

Finally I kiss her on the lips and she responds with so much need I gasp into her open mouth. She whimpers as my tongue grazes her bottom lip and when I pull back she grunts in protest.

Her forehead rests against mine as we stare into each others eyes with goofy smiles on our faces.

"Is it going to be this hard forever? Will we always fight?"

I contemplate her question for awhile. I honestly have no idea if we will fight forever, I mean it makes for great make up sex but I would rather us just be happy. I nuzzle her neck again, inhaling her sweet smell. She always smells so good.

"Honestly, I have no idea but I do know that we will always get through it."

She gives me a semi-happy smile before placing a loving kiss on my cheek and walking into a different room. I release a breath I didn't realize I was holding. My anger at my wife is not all the way gone but I do feel better.

"Mom's keeping Ripley at her place tonight. Will you stay here with me, will you be with me?"

"Ash come 'ere."

She's crying again as she climbs into my lap. Her hands grab fistfuls of my shirt as she sobs into my neck.

"I'm not ever going to leave you Ashley. You don't have to be so jealous. I love you."

Ashley's body shakes uncontrollably as I lift her and carry her to the couch where I lay down with her, wrapping her up in my arms.

"Spencer I am so sorry and I love you so much baby so much."

Her words are mumbled against my lips as she kisses me. I grip her hips and pull her body completely against mine, needing to feel her. She moans when I bite her bottom lip. The sound of someone pounding on the door jolts us both from the kiss. When she opens her eyes they're dark and filled with lust.

"I guess we should answer the door."

I almost groan at the sound of her even huskier than normal voice. I roll off the couch and practically stomp to the front door, throwing it open with force.

"What?"

I'm greeted by the sight of Becky, Madison, and Kyla all with worried expressions on their faces.

"What the hell Spence? I called you like 30 times and you don't even bother to call me back? Ashley was in hysterics the other night and you just ignored everyone's calls. You're an asshole!"

I know that the hormones are making Becky yell like this so I just roll my eyes and walk back to where Ashley is sitting, our three friends following me closely. When I sit back down I pull Ashley close to me and scowl at our friends.

"So I see everything is better once again?"

Kyla's voice is laced with an air of jealousy and Madison is digging through our fridge. I barely hear Ashley talking to the two pregnant women as an idea starts to form in my head.

"Hey Maddie, what are you doing tonight?"

X X X X X X X X X X

The bar is crowded tonight and the music is loud but I don't mind, in fact I love when the bar is like this. Ashley sticks to me like glue as we maneuver through the throngs of people to our favorite booth in the back.

Madison is already sitting there nursing a beer with a content smile on her overly pierced face. Even after all this time she hasn't taken the piercings out, something about how her job allows it.

Madison looks good tonight and I smile, my plan already going smoothly. As I slide into the booth Ashley slides right next to me her hand resting on my jean covered thigh.

"Hey Mads, glad you could make it."

She grins at me and leans over the table to give Ash a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Well Spence you said you had someone you wanted me to meet, so of course my newly single ass is here."

Ashley's laughter causes me to smile wider as she nuzzles my cheek. Madison and Ashley chat candidly as my eyes scan the crowded bar for a familiar face.

Her gray eyes lock with mine the moment she walks in the bar and we both grin simultaneously. Ashley must notice the change in my mood because she follows my gaze to the young Latina walking towards us and immediately stiffens up.

"Hiya Spencer! It's good to see you again."

I stand and give Carmen a hug despite the jealousy I feel coming off my wife in waves.

"Hey Carmen. Uh this is my wife Ashley and this is Madison."

Carmen sits next to Maddie and gives my wife a radiant smile.

"So you're Ashley, I've heard a lot about you."

Ashley blushes slightly and beams at the girl across from her.

"All good things I hope?"

Her voice has a hint of teasing in it and Carmen laughs, flipping her hair over her shoulder. While Carmen and Ashley exchange words I watch Madison carefully. Back when we were all in college and living in Ohio I always thought Mads was into girls. The way she looked at Ashley and just her general attitude concerning Ash always seemed more than best friendly. Madison's dark green eyes are trained on Carmen as she laughs at Ashley and I smirk to myself.

I might just be the smartest person I know.

"Why are you smirking like that? You're scaring me."

Ashley's voice breaks my internal chat with my self and I give her a quick kiss.

"Sorry babe. Come on Carmen let's go get another round. We're doin shots next!"

We walk to the bar and I order the drinks but I know it'll take them a minute to get them ready so I turn to face my young friend.

"Well what do you think of Madison?"

Carmen's gray eyes are still staring at Madison from across the room. Oh they are so hot for each other. Of course I can't give her too much crap because I can't stop looking at Ashley.

"She's so hot, Spence seriously she's smoking but I don't think she's into me."

Carmen's concerned eyes meet mine and she chews her bottom lip nervously. The thing about Carmen is she can't hide the emotions in her eyes. She's an open book and she looks all sorts of nervous right now.

"Ok Car here's the key, after 3-4 shots ask her to dance. The whole age thing doesn't matter to her. She once dated a guy almost 20 years older than her."

I chuckle as Carmen's jaw drops and her eyes widen.

"Well ok clearly she doesn't have a problem dating a different age group but I don't know how about the fact that I'm a girl?"

As I grab the tray full of tequila I roll my eyes at the dark haired girl next to me.

"Just do it. Jeez I know what I'm talking about."

The wonderful sound of Ashley's laughter hits me right as we make it back to the table. Oh this is going to be a good night, I can just feel it.

X X X X X X X X X X

"So Madison you wanna dance?"

Carmen's voice is a little slurred but it's ok because Madison has the most drunken smile on her face.

"Oh my God I'd LOVE to!"

My young friend's face lights up as she grabs Madison's hand and they make their way onto the dance floor. I watch happily as they laugh and dance goofily together.

"I wanna fuck you right now."

Did I mention that Ashley is beyond hammered and that when she drinks like this she gets ridiculously horny? Oh well she does.

Her confession makes me whimper slightly as she nips at my throat.

"Ash can you not? We are most definitely still in a public place."

She grins at me drunkenly and rests her chin on my shoulder as she stares at my face.

"Spence you are so pretty."

I chuckle and thank my wife with a deep kiss. As we pull away Ashley let's out a gasp.

"They are practically screwing each other out on the dance floor!"

Ashley sounds borderline horrified but mostly completely shocked and the familiar smirk finds its way onto my face. Madison and Carmen are dancing close and grinding into each other, hard. I stifle a laugh when Madison's drunk ass gives Carmen a kiss on the neck and Ashley lets out another shocked noise.

Just call me Cupid.

**Sorry this took a little longer but it was a little harder to write for some reason. Lemme know what you think. Thanks for everything!**


	22. Oh Love

**I own no part of SON**

**Peace and love to you all!**

The sunlight poking through our blinds is hitting me right in the eyes causing me to waken slightly. The incoherent mumbling next to me pulls me even further out of my sleep. The more I start to wake up the more aware I become of Ashley's hand snaked up my shirt.

I shudder at the contact and open my eyes to gaze at my wife. She's sound asleep with a small smile playing on her face. God she's gorgeous and she's all mine, man am I lucky.

Slipping out of her grasp, I press a gentle kiss to her forehead and walk into the kitchen to start coffee.

It's barely 8am but I don't feel tired. Poor Ashley passed out before even getting home last night. Kind of reminds me of Christian and Becky's wedding reception…

"_Maybe you should tell your beau to slow down. She's looking a little drunk."_

_Bobby nods towards where Ashley is dancing with Becky's nephew and she's getting a little raunchy. To be honest she's kinda turning me on._

"_Oh I don't know it is kind of funny."_

_I chuckle as Ashley pushes herself against the young boy and his eyes widen but then I frown because his hands are creepy down a little too low on her back._

"_Ha looks like he's enjoying Ashley's drunkenness. I must say she does look hot today." _

_I scowl at Bobby and he walks away laughing his ass off. Ashley's drunkenness started when she realized I was the maid of honor and Bobby the best man. _

_She's still a little distrustful when it comes to him. I walk to where Ash is dancing and tap her shoulder._

"_Baby maybe you should come with me."_

_She grins widely and her eyes roam my bridesmaid dress clad body. I shake my head and grab her hand._

"_Spence are you mad at me?" _

_Her big brown eyes gaze at me with obvious drunkenness and I give her a kiss on the nose. She gives me the brightest smile as I lead her to our seats._

"_Nah Ash I'm not mad, why would I be?"_

_She giggles and grabs another flute of champagne. _

"_Cheers to us. I love you so much Spence," she downs the flute and puts her face against mine, "and I'm gonna screw your brains out when we get back home."_

_I choke on my own glass of champagne and my eyes pretty much bug out of my head. She chuckles huskily and kisses me right below my ear, ending with a not so appropriate for public lick. _

"_Ash stop it. Ashley, Ashley Davies?" _

_Her head is heavy on my shoulder and when I shake her she doesn't move. Great she's blacked out. I guess that means no sex for me tonight…_

I had carried her back home that night too, making sure she was ok before sleeping with her safe in my arms.

The aroma of coffee floating through the house draws me back to the kitchen and there stands Ashley is booty shorts and a gray wife beater. I smile at the sight of her fixing up both our mugs of coffee.

"Good morning sexy."

She jumps at the sound of my voice and when she turns around I bite my lip with desire. Ashley's wearing her black rimmed glasses; I love it when she wears her glasses.

"Spencer you scared me!"

I grin as I wrap my arms around her neck and peck her lips. Her hands rest on my hips and she backs us up until my back hits the wall.

"I love your glasses. When is your mom bringing Ripley back?"

Her eyes dart away from mine and to the clock hanging on the wall. My lips land on her neck and I can't stop myself from tasting her fully.

"Mmm she'll be here in like 10 minutes, oh God Spencer."

My name tumbles from her lips in a deep moan and it drives me crazy so bite and lick harder. Her hands are on my shoulders and she pushes me back as I whimper in protest. What the hell?

Her eyes are dark with lust and she strokes my cheek with her fingers. I watch her take a deep breath and then she kisses my cheek before stepping back.

"Sorry I got carried away, you're irresistible."

Her throaty chuckle makes me grin as she saunters away, her hips swaying as she walks. Good God she's the definition of sexy. The images running around in my head get interrupted by the ringing of my phone. I grab it off the counter and flip it open without checking the name.

"Hello?"

I grab my mug of coffee and take a sip, ooo still hot.

"_Oh. My. God. Spencer I had such a good time last night and Madison is amazing and she is so hot and thank you, thank you, thank you!"_

Carmen's rambling makes me laugh into the phone and I hear her release a contented sigh. I hear Ashley approaching and I tilt my face asking for a kiss. She rolls her eyes but obliges me.

"So the rest of the night went well?"

Ashley sits next to me on the couch and her fingers run up and down my leg. I smile warmly at her before turning my attention back to the phone conversation.

"_She was so sweet. We danced all night and then she walked me home, as we held hands, and then she kissed me at my door!" _

I snap to get Ashley's attention and when she looks at me I mouth 'they kissed' at her. Ashley's mouth drops open and she gives a chuckle before going back to reading the newspaper.

"Wow Car that's great. Are you seeing her again soon?"

"_Dunno she said she'd call. Do you think she'll call? Oh my God what if she actually didn't like me!"_

I kinda feel bad when I start laughing and almost spill my coffee all over myself.

"If she didn't sleep with you on the first date that's a good sign, it means she's looking for something real. How did you like that tongue ring?"

The feeling of Ashley flicking me catches my attention and I turn to see her scowling at me.

"_How do you know she has a tongue ring?"_

"Oh we got really drunk one night at Becky's bachlorette party and things kinda just got out of control. It was one time and Ashley yelled at me pretty good after that."

Carmen gives a small laugh then I hear her intake a sharp breath.

"_Gotta go Madison is calling me! Muah bye Spencer and thanks again!"_

The fact that this whole plan has worked out makes me feel so good. I'm so happy that they're clicking so far.

"Spence you did a good thing for them."

Ashley's warm smile makes my heart flutter, as corny as that sounds, and me to grin widely.

"Thanks baby, I love you."

She flips a page of the newspaper and responds without looking at me.

"I love you too."

I don't need her to look at me or gaze soulfully into my eyes to know she means it. She always means it, just like I do.

The doorbell rings and I roll my eyes. Woohoo Christine is here, damnit. The pitter-patter of little feet brightens my mood as my daughter jumps on me, squeezing me as tight as she can.

"Mommy! I miss you."

I give her a kiss on the cheek that gets her to give me a grin.

"Go hug your momma."

She launches herself onto Ashley's lap and begins, what I'm sure is to be a lengthy, story. To my pleasant surprise Raife saunters into our living room with a bright smile on his kind face. The sight of him makes me get off the couch and practically bounce up to him with open arms.

He envelops me in a tight hug and gives me a kiss on the top of my head.

"Hey Spencer, good to see you. How've you been?"

We walk into the kitchen where he fixes himself a coffee as I jump up to sit on the counter.

"Pretty good. Although Ashley and I had a big fight the other day, which I'm sure you already knew about."

He nods knowingly before sipping on his steaming coffee.

"Well I knew you guys were having some troubles, didn't know what about though. You guys good now?"

His eyes shine with concern and I want to hug him again, I'll control myself.

"Yeah we're ok now. Things have been strained. Our friends and family have just been adding to the strain and I have the thought in the back of my mind that Ashley wants more children. I don't know if I want another kid."

Raife stands next to me and wraps a comforting arm around my waist, pulling me into a half hug. I love this man.

"Spence you'll figure it all out, I know you will and you should just talk to Ash. I'm sure she'll help. She loves you so much Spencer."

He gives me a kiss to the temple and goes to say goodbye to the other girls leaving me to wallow in my own thoughts.

I always feel better after Raife visits and I'm still feeling pretty good from the successful Carmen/Madison plan.

"Mommy, Mommy. Can we go for walk?"

She's using the power of her Ashley-like eyes to get the answer she wants. Just like her mother she knows I cannot refuse those big, brown saucers.

"Yeah baby girl that sounds good. Let me get my shoes on."

Ripley squeals with delight and runs off to do God knows what as I pull my shoes on.

"You're a good mom."

Ashley's standing in the doorway smiling at me as I wrestle with my shoes. Why the hell can't I do this today?

"Well it's a team job and I have a great partner."

A nose crinkling smile breaks across her face and it makes me feel all warm and tingly.

"I'm going to go get my shoes on so I can join you and Rip. See ya in a few."

She gives me a playful wink before she walks away and it makes me smile. Ripley is suddenly at my side and she grabs my hand.

"Mommy how you know you love Momma?"

She has the most serious expression on her face and I have to hold back the 'aww' that automatically wants to be said. I bend down so I'm at eye level with my daughter.

"Well Rip when your Momma is around me my heart beats faster and I always miss her when she's gone and she gave me you."

Ripley gives me a satisfied nod before pulling me towards the door with amazing strength.

Ashley's hand slips into my other one and I pull her close, releasing her hand and wrapping my arm around her waist.

I love my girls.

**Thanks for all the feedback! I'm so glad you all liked the last chapter because I really liked writing it. Thoughts on this one are appreciated too!**


	23. Settle For a Slowdown

**I own no part of SON**

**Peace and love to all!**

A big dinner with all my friends and all our children, sounds perfect doesn't it? Well it is not going as planned. To begin with Ashley is not hiding the fact that she is irritated with me, Kyla and Becky are hormonal, none of the kids will sit still, and finally Madison and Carmen can't keep their hands off each other.

Now I didn't mean to burn the vegetables but Glen had called and I got distracted so they're a little dark. Ashley gets irritated.

Ripley's bath water makes a mess in the bathroom and I finish dressing Ripley instead of mopping up the water. Ashley gets irritated.

The dog pees on the floor, while I'm mopping up bath water, and she accidentally steps in the giant puddle. Ashley gets irritated.

Today has just been an off day and when I tried to convince Ashley to cancel the dinner she refused, and of course got irritated.

So now we sit here and Ashley is trying to get Ripley to sit still and I'm stabbing at the charred veggies while everyone else sits around on edge because of their own problems. It's an intense situation, except for Madison and Carmen. Don't do that shit at the dinner table, there's even kids here!

"Spencer a little help?"

Ashley practically hisses at me as she tries to grab Ripley's wrist.

"Sure."

I deadpan the words and I see the familiar irritation flash across her face, ok maybe by now I'm doing things just to piss her off. I grab the fork out of Ripley's hands and narrow my eyes at her.

"Sit here and behave."

Ripley's eyes widen in fear and she instantly freezes, my voice drops low with a cold edge to it. I sit back in my chair and return to stabbing uselessly at my charred vegetables. Actually the veggies aren't half bad.

"So Spence you glad its summer break?"

Glen finally breaks the tense silence as he takes a bite of food, a little bit of BBQ sauce on his face.

"Uh yeah ya know more time to spend with the girls."

I can almost feel Ashley roll her eyes next to me and it's the final straw. The slamming of my fork on the table gets Ashley to look at me.

"What, something you wanna say Ash? Damnit I can't do anything right can I?"

My outburst gets everyone's attention and Ashley stares at me with wide, disbelieving eyes.

"Uh come on let's go outside. Girls come on."

Becky ushers everyone, including the children, outside while Ashley and I continue to just sit there glaring at each other. Her eyes are smoldering but not in the good way.

"I cannot believe you just ruined the dinner we've been planning for weeks. What the hell is your freaking problem Spence?!"

I stand up and start clearing dishes, needing to keep myself busy so I don't completely lose it.

"Ashley you've been all over me today, nothing I did was good enough. So please just take a fucking chill pill!"

She steps into my space so close that our breaths mingle and her eyes burn into mine, God she smells incredible.

"You are so infuriating sometimes."

Our mouths are almost touching and it's killing me. We're both breathing heavily with anticipation and I'm the one that puts us both out of our misery.

"You are so hot."

My words are mumbled against her mouth and then we kiss. It's not slow and romantic, it's rough and full of want. Her hands grab my face and pull me even closer as my arms circle around her waist.

Dishes are shoved off the counter as she hoists me up and then settles herself on top of me. The heat from her body is incredible and enough to burn me. She moans when I arch into her, my hands running down her back and forcing her further into me.

Her mouth is on my neck and I can tell her actions are going to leave a mark but I don't fucking care because right now it feels so damn good.

"Whoa awesome."

The voice comes from off by the back door and when I finally pull my head away from Ashley's neck I see Carmen standing there with her mouth hanging wide open, a little drool running down her face.

I squirm under Ashley as she continues to lay gentle kisses down my neck with occasional licks. My whole body is tingling with want but the gray eyes of our new friend are starting to glaze over as she watches Ashley continue to try and screw me.

I push Ashley back and she stares at me with eyes so dark they've turned almost black. The way she's just looking at me causes my heart to work overtime and my stomach to flip.

"Carmen we'll be right out, ok?"

I don't bother looking at her while I address her because I can't stop staring at Ashley who is staring at my lips.

"Uh right well we built a fire but it seems like its way hotter in here, see you soon ladies."

Carmen gives me a wink before she practically skips out of the room and I hear her excitedly telling what she found to everyone outside.

Ashley's hot breaths are tickling my neck and I can't stop the shiver that runs through my whole body at the feeling of her body on mine.

"I'm still mad at you."

The glint in her eyes and the grin on her face contradict her words. She gives me another kiss and nuzzles my neck.

"Yeah? Well you still piss me off."

Ashley chuckles huskily before standing up and helping me to my feet. I grin at her disheveled appearance. Her clothes are wrinkled and splattered with food, her hair an absolute mess as it frames her beaming face.

Her eyes have softened and she looks genuinely happy as I try my best to smooth out her hair and clothes. A warm feeling surges through me as I rest my forehead against hers and I release a contended sigh.

"Come on Spence, I'm sure everyone is dying to make fun of us."

She gives me a nose crinkling smile and tugs on my hand.

"Yeah Ash I'll be right out I need a minute."

Her hand reaches up and cups my cheek as her golden eyes search mine. I feel like she can see through me and I close my eyes, leaning into her touch.

"Yeah ok, you alright Spence?"

My eyes stay closed as I nod and feel her kiss me lightly before leaving me alone in the kitchen. Sometimes it's just a little overwhelming, my life that is. Sometimes memories just come flying at me and it takes me completely off guard.

Like just a minute ago I could have sworn I saw Aiden's green eyes where Ashley's brown ones are supposed to be. I'll chalk up my momentary insanity to the lack of sleep these past few days.

"Hey you ok? Ashley is worried about you."

Somehow Becky has magically appeared next to me and her eyes shine with concern but also happiness I've never seen in her eyes before.

"Yeah it's just…"

I stop myself knowing that I'll sound completely crazy if I tell her what I just saw and she tilts her head, encouraging me to finish my sentence.

"…I've been really tired. I'm sure if I get a good night's sleep I'll feel better."

Becky's face scrunches up disbelievingly but she simply nods and grabs my hand.

"Spencer, I'm here if you need me and you can tell Ash anything. Don't go shutting people out, ok?"

Sometimes I think my best friend can read my mind, it's a little scary. She gives me a kiss on the cheek and starts waddling back outside with my hand clasped tightly in hers.

The sight that greets us upon returning warms my heart and makes my chest tighten with joy. All the girls are at the swing set playing, Kyla sits on Glen's lap with a peaceful smile, Carmen and Madison are grinning at each other in complete infatuation while Christian and Ashley are sitting closest to the fire as Ashley tries to teach Christian how to play the guitar.

"Is your hubby trying to be sexy like my wife?"

Becky gives a small laugh at my question and pulls me down into a chair next to her.

"God who knows what those two are up to? You sure you're alright? You look exhausted."

I give her a weary smile before meeting Ashley's worried gaze across the fire.

"Yeah I'm going to be fine."

X X X X X X X X X X

It is eleven o' clock at night and I'm just now lowering myself into the steaming bathtub. I don't bother suppressing my moan as my tense muscles meet the almost boiling water.

"Hey, there you are."

Ashley gives me a soft smile from the doorway. She looks amazing in her simple sweats and glasses, those glasses are going to be the death of me.

"Ash, will you sit here with me, will you just be here with me?"

I try to stop the tears that I can feel behind my eyes but they seem to have a completely different idea. My tears catch us both off guard as sobs start to rip through my body. My soapy hands cover my eyes and all of a sudden Ashley's arms are around me.

She has jumped into the tub with all her clothes still on and now she's holding me.

"Spence, I've got you. Just let it out."

My arms find their way around her torso as I cling to her and sob into her chest. I don't think I could tell you exactly why I'm crying. I'm probably crying for a lot of reasons: I'm afraid of Ashley and I fighting again, I haven't been sleeping due to horrible dreams, and I'm worried Ashley will hate me for not really wanting more children or maybe I'm just a hormonal mess.

The harder I shake or cry, the stronger Ashley's hold on me becomes and I love her because she isn't asking questions and she's not judging me, she's just being there. She's being my wife when I'm being an irrational mess.

"I love you."

I'm finally able to speak between sobs but I keep my face pressed against her soaked tank top. Her hands cup my cheeks and she brings my watery gaze to meet hers.

"I love you too, no matter what Spence."

Her hands thread through my hair and then trail down my bare back, pulling me impossibly closer.

"Ash can we talk? Like its nothing bad don't look at me like that!"

Before she gives me the chance to explain a flash of sadness appears in her eyes and I quickly cup her face and kiss her lips.

"Ok, tell me what's going on Spence? You've had me worried these past few days."

She pulls me onto her lap and her fingers trace patterns all over my back, earning her a deep sigh from me.

"I'm scared you'll hate me for what I'm going to say."

When I look into her eyes she frowning slightly and shaking her head.

"Spencer I could never hate you."

I take a deep breath and lick my lips nervously before continuing.

"I don't think I want any more children."

Her expression is unreadable as her gaze shifts from my face to the wall behind me and I want so bad to know what she is thinking. Only seconds of silence go by but it feels like forever.

"Ok then."

She whispers the words and looks down at me with a soft smile on her face. I can't believe she's ok with this. My God she is amazing. Ah shit here come more tears.

"W-what, you're not m-mad?"

Ashley rests her forehead against mine and leans forward stealing a quick kiss from me before answering me.

"No baby I'm not mad. It would have been nice having another child but its not something I _need_. I have all I need in my arms right now."

I can't stop the grin that spreads across my face and I can't stop myself from kissing her senseless because no one else is this perfect and no one else loves me like she does.

**Well this took forever and I'm not even sure I like it. Hmm well let me know what you think and the next one will be better. Thanks for everything! **


	24. How to Save a Life

**I own no part of SON**

**Peace and love to all!**

"Ready or not here I come!"

I hear giggles before I even uncover my eyes to search for where Ripley is hiding. Ashley is at the stove getting lunch ready and she nods her head in the direction Rip took off to.

I give my wife a sweet kiss before grinning and taking off in the direction she indicated.

As soon as I enter the living room I spot Ripley on the couch with a blanket pulled over her and those wild chocolate curls poking out and her toes peeking out the end of the blanket.

"Gee where could Rip be? Hmm not under here or under there!"

Her giggling becomes so intense that her body starts shaking and I'm grinning like a fool. A full out laugh escapes her and I pounce on her blanket clad body, ticking her wherever I can.

"Haha…no Mommy…haha…no tickle, no tickle!"

My little girl squirms beneath me and she has happy tears streaming down her face. Her laughter echoes through the house and it's like music to my ears.

The sound of Ashley's husky laughter causes me to glance up and meet her sparkling brown eyes and I launch myself at her. I scoop her easily up into my arms and twirl her around.

Ripley sits on the couch and claps her hands together, giggling enthusiastically while I continue to twirl Ashley around.

Ashley closes her eyes tightly and throws her head back, her laughter coming from deep down in her belly.

"Spencer! Stop I'm getting really dizzy!"

We both grin as I rest my forehead against hers and bump our noses together. Ripley giggles with delight when I press a kiss to Ashley's lips, letting the kiss linger a little too long.

"Momma and Mommy switting in a tree!"

I set Ash down gently before pulling Ripley off the ground and hanging her upside down.

"Don't you make fun of your Momma and I, we love each other! You hungry baby girl?"

Ripley gives another fit of giggles as I hold her by her legs and she claws at my legs.

"Yesa Mommy Ima hungry!"

I toss Ripley lightly on the couch and she springs right back up, taking off for the kitchen where her chicken nuggets wait for her.

"I'm really glad to see you so happy Spence."

Ashley looks so beautiful right now, with her hair pulled up messily around her face and her tattered jeans clinging to her hips.

"You know why I'm so happy?"

She blushes and grins as I approach her, my hands gripping her hips when I reach her.

"Why are you so happy baby?"

I kiss the tip of her nose and the smile on her face makes my heart skip a beat, her perfect white teeth showing as she smiles even wider.

"Hmm I'm happy because I have you."

She leans forward for a kiss but I pull back, biting my lip to keep from laughing at the frown now on her beautiful face. My fingers trace her face, running down her cheek before lightly running across her lips.

Her eyes flutter closed at the contact and her breath hitches when my fingers reach her lips. I lean forward and press my lips fully against hers. I smile into the kiss when she wraps her arms around my neck and tilts her head to deepen the kiss.

"MOMMA I HUNGRY!"

I laugh against Ashley's mouth at the sound of our daughter's yells coupled with Ashley's frustrated groans.

"Come on lets feed your daughter."

She rolls her eyes and mumbles something about it being my idea as she leads me into the kitchen. There at the table sits a wide eyed Ripley, bouncing as she waits for her chicken nuggets.

"Alright chill Rip I'm getting it."

I grab three plates and start to serve all three of us when the phone rings loudly. I'm not answering it, I hate our house phone. Ashley's giving me a look as she slowly answers the phone.

"'ello? What!?! No, no we're coming right now. Ok love you too, it'll be ok. See you soon."

Ashley's voice is panicked while she is talking and her eyes are locked on mine, fear and worry etched across her face. She hangs up and her face has turned pale and she looks terrified.

I'm by her side in an instant because I know that face, I've made that face twice in my life, when the call came about my parents being dead and about Aiden.

"Baby what is it?"

She quickly envelops me in a tight hug and her mouth is hot against my ear as she speaks.

"Its Becky baby, she just went into premature labor and they can't get it to stop."

For a minute my mind blanks. Who? What? Then I feel sick, like violently ill and my head swims.

This cannot be happening, haven't we all been through enough shit already?

The next few minutes are a blur and before I know it. Ashley is leading me through a brightly lit hallway to a waiting room full of our friends.

There's this annoying ringing in my ears and I can't seem to catch anything said between my friends. Is Becky ok? Why aren't I with Becky?

"Spencer, baby you there?"

My vision is blurry and I can barely see Ashley through my tears.

"Is she ok? Tell me she's fine, tell me I can see her now."

Ashley tries to rub soothing trails up and down my arms but I can't stop trembling.

"Spence look at me. Becky is stable but not waking up and the baby is in the NICU. They don't know if he'll survive the night. He was born so early and he was born with a fever."

Her words knock the air right out of my lungs and even more tears form in my eyes but nothing compares to the sight of Becky's distraught husband across the room.

Christian has blood on his white, wrinkled shirt and he's dull eyes stare, unblinking straight ahead. His normally well groomed hair and face both are showing the wear and tear of the day, the light brown hair tousled and his face unshaven.

My feet move before my mind has thought it through and before I can register what I'm doing my arms are around the husband of my best friend and we're both crying softly.

"God Spencer I'd just die if I lost her. She's everything to me."

His voice cracks and I give him an even tighter squeeze until a doctor enters the room, then we are all giving him our undivided attention.

"Hello I'm Dr. Smith, I've been dealing with Becky's case."

Christian rushes up next to him with panicked eyes and his mouth drawn in a thin line.

"Doctor, how is she?"

Kyla's voice is strangely calm as one arm rests on her swollen belly and the other clutching Glen. I stand with my own arms wrapped around myself as Ashley stands slightly behind me.

"I will allow a few visitors but she's not awake. Your son is on a ventilator and heart monitor. We won't be able to tell anything until the morning."

The young doctor shakes our hands and then disappears leaving us to decide who will go visit Becks.

"Well of course Christian should go and so should you Spence, she's your best friend."

Ashley's husky voice becomes the voice of reason as she strokes my cheek. She gives me a quick kiss before Christian and I take off towards Becky's room.

Room 1267. I stand in front of the closed door and my body is numb. My best friend is behind that door, hooked up to machines and helpless.

"Come on Spence, she needs us."

Christian gives me a weak smile and squeezes my shoulder before pushing the door open. There are three different machines beeping and the room has an almost stale smell to it. The walls are unusually white with one crucifix hanging above the lone bed.

My hands are shaking as I reach for right hand, an ugly bruise forming where the IV is sticking into her hand.

"She looks asleep, like there's nothing wrong."

Christian sounds like he is exhausted and on the verge of losing it. The only problem is Becky's skin has lost the glow it usually holds and her bright eyes remain closed.

"It'll be ok Christian, it has to be."

I press a gentle kiss to Becky's forehead before leaving Christian alone with my comatose friend.

My feet somehow carry me two floors up to where Becky's son is being kept and when I get there I see Ashley with her nose pressed to the nursery glass.

"_GIVE ME SOME FREAKING MEDICINE BEFORE I KILL SOMEBODY!"_

_Ashley has been in labor for ten hours now and neither one of us can take much more._

"_Baby you didn't want any remember? You wanted a 'natural' birth. Please stop screaming."_

_Her crazed eyes fix on me and I immediately regret voicing my opinion._

"_Stop screaming? Stop SCREAMING??? COME OVER HERE AND I'LL SHOW YOU WHY I CAN'T STOP SCREAMING!!!" _

_My eyes widen in horror and I swallow thickly. We need a doctor in here before Ashley tears off my head. _

"_Oook baby I'm going to step out and get a doctor you just hang on a second."_

"_Don't you dare walk out of this room!"_

_I stop mid stride and visibly cringe, She's scaring the living daylights out of me. Right when I figure my life is going to end in walks a handsome young doctor._

"_Hello I'm Dr. Travers I'll be delivering your baby."_

_At the sight of the doctor I practically weep. _

"_Oh thank God you're here. I think I might love you!"_

_Dr. Travers blushes a deep shade of red and my wife turns red with anger._

"_You better not mean that when I'm carrying your child Spencer Davies!" _

_I grin sheepishly as Ashley lets loose another scream. Oh please God let this end soon._

"Hey you ok?"

Ashley's husky voice and loving gaze pulls me out of my memories. Her thumb brushes tears off my cheek and her lips land on mine.

"Want to see your Godson?"

I nod in response and Ashley leads me to the glass pointing to a small with several machines attached to him.

"Ashley he's beautiful. Oh God he's so small."

Her arm wraps around my waist as we stand with tears streaming down our faces and our eyes fixed on the small child whose live hangs in the balance.

**I feel terrible. This took sooooo long. Well now I should be back for good and I plan on finishing this and Truth soon. Thanks for being patient and let me know what you think.**


	25. Cling and Clatter

**I own no part of SON**

**Peace and love to all! **

The small clock on the wall reads 3:30am and I rub my eyes wearily. At this point sleep is impossible as I sit with bloodshot eyes. Ashley fell asleep two hours ago, curled up on a musty waiting room chair.

Christian is in Becky's room and has been all night, the only person still awake is the youngest out of all of us.

"You want some coffee?"

Familiar gray eyes meet mine and I give Carmen a slow nod. She untangles herself from a sleeping Madison and grabs my hand. As I stand I place a gentle kiss to the top of Ashley's head.

"How are you still awake?"

Carmen grins at my question and gives a slight shrug, her eyes still holding onto her childlike glow.

"I guess I'm used to staying up this late, I am still in college don't forget."

She ends with a small chuckle and it's the first sound close to laughter I've heard all day. It sounds wonderful.

"I guess you're right. How's Madison?"

The mindless task of fixing up my coffee with sugar and creamer keeps my thoughts away from my nonresponsive friend.

"She's worried…about you Spence, we're both worried."

She stares at the label on her water bottle intently and avoids my gaze as I think about her words. Should she be worried about me? I try to rub some of the sleep out of my eyes but my vision just goes a little blurry.

"Why me? I'm not the one hooked up to machines."

My voice is rough from crying and it sounds hollow even to me. Stormy gray eyes meet mine and Carmen pulls me into a tight hug.

"A person can only take so much heartache before they lose it. You've already had so much happen to you. You've got to be close to the breaking point."

She whispers the words against my ear and the tears I figured would fall never leave my eyes. As she pulls away I give her a grateful smile and tell her I'm going upstairs to see the baby.

A slight smile tugs at my mouth when I reach the NICU. My curly headed brother has his face pressed against the glass and I can hear him making cooing noises at the nursery full of babies.

"Having fun?"

He practically jumps out of his skin at my voice and clutches his chest like he is having a heart attack.

"Damnit Spence you scared the living daylights outta me, don't sneak up on people like that! Jesus."

I shake my head and roll my eyes before standing next to him to gaze at the numerous babies lined up. The nurses have them on display with their pretty pink or blue socks tucked neatly over their tiny feet.

"Has the nurse done anything with Christopher?"

Glen gives me a weird look and runs his hand through his hair.

"Who is Christopher?"

I give him a weak smile and turn my attention to the baby at the smallest baby in the back.

"That's what they're naming him, Christopher Allen."

Glen wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me close.

"No they haven't done anything new. Just that drippy thing and writing down on little clipboards."

More tears fall as I watch his tiny chest rise and fall but no other part of him moves. Christopher looks like one of those baby birds that have fallen out of the nest, only his chest moving, and the rest immobile.

"Glen I'm scared. I'm scared Becky won't wake up and I'm scared Christopher won't make it through the rest of the night."

He pulls me into a tight embrace as I sob loudly into his chest. I feel him kiss the top of my head and rest his cheek there.

"Everything is going to be ok, it has to be. You know I used to think I was going to marry Becky?"

I pull my head out of his chest and look at him through a watery gaze.

"Really?"

I'm going to play dumb because I bet he thinks I never noticed how he used to look at her.

"Yeah when we were younger I was practically in love with her. You know she was my first real crush. I remember thinking to myself 'She is so pretty, I'm going to marry her someday' but I was terrified of your reaction."

My first real laugh since Becky was put in the hospital comes and surprises the hell out of me.

"Why were you afraid of my reaction?"

He shrugs and turns his attention back to the babies.

"Oh come on she was your best friend and I was the older brother. Admit it you would've been pissed."

I watch as a baby gets rolled out of the little nursery and her happy parents hold her close, a happy ending for another family. Now where the hell is ours?

"Nah I kinda always knew you liked her, honestly she liked you too."

Glen grins and the boyish twinkle returns to his face. The laugh and worry lines on his face are even more apparent tonight and I chalk it up to stress.

"Well shit. Are you guys having another baby?"

My jaw drops so suddenly the gum I was chewing falls right out. Where did that question come from? He and Ashley must have been plotting this together or I'm just crazy. I'm actually going to go with crazy.

"Uh well hmm see…"

My phone signaling a text message saves me from trying to answer Glen's question.

**Becky is responding. 3 u**

Ashley's text has me sprinting down the hall with Glen hot on my heels. Oh God please let her be awake, please.

I skid to a stop in front of Becky's room where all our friends and family stand anxiously.

"So…what's…going on?"

Damn I'm outta breath. Ashley's deep, brown eyes lock with mine and she moves closer so that she can wrap her arms around me.

At the feeling of her arms around me I immediately relax and my breathing starts to even out. The heat coming off Ashley's body is incredible and lights my whole body on fire, not in the 'you're turning me on' kind of way but just warm, safe.

"The doctor hasn't come out yet but the last we heard she was responding to some simple tests."

I nod pathetically because I don't know what else to do and Ashley kisses my temple.

"She has to be ok Ash, I _need_ her to be ok."

She rests her forehead against mine and her hands find their resting place on my hips.

"I know baby, I know."

She leans in and kisses me softly, the scent of her perfume surrounding me. We don't kiss any further then our mouths moving gently against each other as she presses her self against me, a trail of goosebumps exploding across almost every inch of my body.

"Is there a Spencer Davies here?"

An unfamiliar voice causes me to break away from our intimate moment and step closer to the door.

An older man in a white coat stands with a small smile on his face.

"Uh I'm Spencer."

I bite my lip nervously and feel someone place a heavy hand on my shoulder.

"She's asking for you."

I almost vomit at his words. She's awake. Becky is awake. She didn't die.

Even though I'm excited and thrilled and all other kinds of happy I can't move. It's like I'm frozen in my spot.

"Spencer get your scrawny, les ass in here."

A rough, broken voice coming from Becky's room gets me to move, and fast. I know that voice even when it's like that, Becky is yelling at me.

As I rush into the room I pass a relieved looking Christian leaving who gives me a happy smile. Honestly I don't give a shit about him and launch myself at the bed where my best friend is waiting with open arms and happy tears.

We both cry as we hug and I can't describe how happy I am to have her arms around me again.

"Shit Becks you scared me. I thought I was going to lose you."

She continues to cling to me and I can feel her hot tears running down my neck.

"You can't get rid of me that easy."

And thank God for that.

**Sorry that took awhile. I've had some serious writer's block. Here's a shorter chapter just to wet the appetite. Thanks for everything! I'm going on vacation for two weeks but I'll have my computer so I'm going to try and update but it may only be once or twice. **


	26. Just Might Make Me Believe

**I own no part of SON**

**Peace and love to all!**

The light rain drizzling from the sky is cool as it splashes against my face. I heard somewhere once that the rain can wash away anything. That rain even washed the earth completely clean, well if you believe in all that bible crap.

I've always kind of believed that rain can help wash away pain. In this instant I hope that is true.

Warm arms slide around my neck and a smile breaks across my face as warm lips land on the back of my neck. Her chin rests on my shoulder and she nuzzles my cheek slightly.

"Hey Ash."

A flashing ambulance flies past us with the sirens blaring, another reminder of the horrible things that happen here.

"Hey baby, how you doing?"

Her leg swings over my lap and she straddles me where I sit. Exhaustion is starting to overtake me and I let my head rest against her chest. Ashley's fingers immediately start running through my hair and I release a deep sigh.

"I'm so tired Ashley, I'm so tired but I can't sleep."

I take a deep breath and just the smell of her calms me down. It's crazy she can excite me to no end or she can piss me off until I wanna hit something and sometimes she's the most calming, wonderful thing in the world.

"What if we go home to shower, eat, and sleep? How does that sound? I'll have Christian call as soon as there is news on Christopher."

I nod wearily against her chest and let myself be led to the car. What would I do without her? In all honesty I'd probably be dead by this point.

The car ride is silent but a good silence with her hand holding mine gently. She cuts the engine in front of our house and I drag my bone tired body up the driveway.

"Wait where's Rip?"

Panic seeps through my body and my heart starts racing, my feet rooted to the ground. She grabs me by the shoulders and shakes me out of my daze.

"Hey, hey calm down. She's with my parents. Did you really think I'd leave her all alone?"

Ashley has an almost hurt expression on her face as we enter the dark house and I quickly try to fix my error.

"Baby no I'm just exhausted and confused and scared. Please don't be mad, God I need you now, I need you so bad."

She gives me a sympathetic smile and grabs my hand leading me upstairs to our bedroom. Ashley gently helps me change clothes and as I finally collapse into our bed I feel her press against me.

"I'm right here baby, not going anywhere. Try to get some sleep."

Her words are soft and she hums an unfamiliar melody as I drift off to sleep.

X X X X X X X X X X

Two hands shaking me awake pull me out of a dreamless sleep. I go to grumble at my wife but am shocked at how is standing above me.

"Ashley went to go check on Ripley so I came here. How are you feeling?"

The younger Davies sister is sitting on the edge of the bed brushing stubborn hair away from my face.

"Time is it?"

Kyla glances down at the watch on her wrist, the wrist that is currently resting on her swollen stomach. Before she can answer I press my ear to her stomach and she strokes my hair as I let out a contented sigh.

"It's about 8am. Why don't you shower and I'll start breakfast then we can go see Becky together?"

Sounds like a damn good plan and I told her that before rolling out of bed and into the shower. I crank the water almost all the way to hot before stepping under the spray and moan with delight at the steaming water pelting my back.

I'm in such a daze that I don't even hear the bathroom door open or the shower curtain getting pushed out of the way.

I certainly start paying attention when I feel her arms wrap around me from behind and her naked form press against mine.

"Miss me?"

I jump in her arms and turn to face her, the familiar twinkle in her hazel eyes. She has a brilliant smile on her face and my whole body is tingling from the way she is looking at me, well and maybe because we're in the shower pressed up against each other.

After several distracting touches and kisses we make our way downstairs.

"Really guys, sex in the shower while I'm in the house? Classy ladies, very classy."

Ashley and I laugh at Kyla's annoyance. I realize it's the first time I've laughed in a while and this only causes me to smile even more.

"Ready to go to the hospital?"

And that happy feeling is gone, awesome.

The three of us pile into Kyla's small car and make the 30ish minute drive to where Becky is being kept.

Her room is empty and I know where she is so I ask the other two to wait in the lobby.

"I need to be alone with her, at least for a few minutes. Give me a second?"

They both nod in understanding and Ashley gives my hand a final squeeze before I take off to find Becks. She's right where I knew she'd be. Her once bright eyes are staring down longingly at her son.

"He's a fighter."

She doesn't seem surprised by my presence and only glances up at me before she goes back to staring at Christopher.

I wait several more beats and when she doesn't say anything I walk up behind her putting my hand on her back.

As if I flipped some sort of switch she turns quickly and breaks down in my arms.

"How did our lives come to this? Why can we never just live and be happy? I mean you've lost your parents and Aiden, who was the love of your life, and you're still alive. How are you still ok?"

I'm not going to lie its painful for her to bring up what I've lost but I take a deep breath and brush away the tears falling down her face.

"You know what really helps me?" She shakes her head, "I have Ashley, Rip, Kyla, Glen, Madison, now Carmen, and easily the most important one, I still have _you_."

Both of my hands are holding her face as she stares at me with watery eyes and I pull her into a tight hug.

"Spencer, I love you. I know we don't really say it but I do, you mean the world to me."

I smile into her hair as we hug, my hands running up and down her back comfortingly.

"Ditto Becks, ditto."

Right as we release each other from the hug all the other girls appear at the end of the hall. Just the sight of Ashley makes me beam and I bite my lip with anticipation.

Ash hugs Becky first and gives me a nose crinkling smile, making my knees buckle.

She's incredible.

We link arms and wander a little ways down the hall, stealing small glances at each other smiling like fools when we catch the other one staring.

Ashley opens a random door and pushes me inside.

"What the fu-"

Her mouth is on mine before I can finish and a loud moan jumps from my mouth. This only spurs her on as she presses harder against me and nibbles on my bottom lip.

Sweet Jesus.

"Baby you are so hot."

I giggle against her neck as she compliments me. My knee slips between her legs and she gasps at the contact before my lips trail up her neck, across her jaw, and I claim her lips again.

Her hands find their way under my shirt while mine are tugging at the loops in her ripped jeans.

"Uh excuse me I need the mop."

I break away from a panting Ashley to see an old janitor with a perverted smile on his face and a slight bulge in his pants, nasty.

Ashley chuckles huskily and grabs my hand pulling me out of the closet and back towards the others.

"Damnit Ash did you know that was a closet?"

She turns to face me with dancing eyes and a wide smile.

"Oh yeah but shit Spencer sometimes I just can't keep my hands off you."

I roll my eyes and rejoin the girls to see several doctors gathered around Christopher. Carmen is holding Becky back as the doctors seem to exchange hurried words.

"What's going on? We were gone like ten minutes."

Ashley's panicked voice breaks the daze I'm in and I rush to Becky's side.

"They won't tell us anything. He was fine a second ago."

Madison sounds shocked as she wraps her arm around a trembling Carmen.

Becky is now clinging to my side and she lets out a strangled sob as the doctors wheel Christopher past us with all his machines beeping.

It's a sound I will never forget as long as I live, the sound of my best friend's heart breaking.

The men of our group appear just seconds later and Becky sobs into Christian's chest as Glen kisses Kyla, his hands cupping her swollen stomach.

Ashley finally finds her way back to me and just looks at me with pained eyes. My arms slip around her waist and she buries her head in my neck.

I've never been one who really believes in God but right now I want nothing more than for God to exist and for a miracle to happen.

**Thanks everyone, you guys rock! I'm going to try and get more done tonight after the beach! **


	27. Feels Like Today

**I own no part of SON**

**Peace and love to all!**

There are certain moments in your life that you never really forget. I've had several of these moments: my first kiss with Aiden, my parents funeral, the first time I had sex with Aiden, the party where I met Ash, my first real kiss with her, Glen coming back in my life, my first time having sex with Ashley, fighting and breaking up with Ashley, getting her back, the day we got married, the day Ash had Ripley, and now I will never forget the day my best friend held her baby boy for the first time…

It has been two days since they wheeled Chris away in front of us. I can't close my eyes without hearing the gut wrenching sound of Becky's sob.

My blank stare stays fixed on the computer screen as I try and do some work. Ripley sits a few feet away giggling at whatever movie is on the TV. As she's gotten older her voice has gotten a little huskier like Ashley's and I know that the voice is a seduction magnet.

I'm so screwed once Rip hits puberty. I'm going to be the crazy mom that locks up their daughter.

All of a sudden the sexist figure ever is shining in the reflection of my computer screen and I find myself grinning before I even turn around. Ashley has an award winning smile plastered on her face and her arms are crossed loosely across her body.

She's stunning and judging by the smirk on her face she knows it.

Ashley takes three steps and plops down on my lap. I instinctively wrap my arms around her body and pull her closer. I can never have her close enough.

"So do want to hear the good news or the really good news first?"

Hmm I didn't even know there was news and the scent of her seductive perfume is distracting me.

"Uh whatever."

I know, I know real intelligent of me but you try and focus with someone as hot as Ashley sitting in your lap with her hands lightly scratching your legs.

It's practically impossible.

"Ok I guess I'll pick. We'll do the good news first," she leans in so close her lips bump my ear when she speaks, "I want you so bad."

My eyes basically bug out of my head and when I look into her eyes I see want and lust reflecting at me.

"W-what's the really good news because that just seemed like really good news?"

Another giggle erupts from Ripley's direction and Ashley pauses to gaze lovingly at our daughter before her twinkling eyes meet mine.

"They are going to let Becky be with Baby Christopher. Wanna go see them?"

My breath catches in my throat and I nod with tears in my eyes. Finally my friend gets to hold her sweet baby boy.

I need to be there.

"Yeah let's go to the hospital, like now."

Ashley grins and goes to get off me but I pull her back down, pressing my lips to hers in a searing kiss.

"I love you Ash."

My hands are resting against her collarbone and I trace her bone there lightly. She gives me a gentle kiss on the forehead before standing up.

"I love you too Spence."

I give her a shit eating grin before bolting to the garage and starting the car while my wife rounds up our daughter.

X X X X X X X X X X

She's squeezing my hand so tight that I think I've lost all the blood circulation to that hand but I don't care. She's nervous because she's about to hold her son for the first time in almost two weeks.

Dear God I'm nervous too.

A nurse in yellow scrubs walks into the room holding a small bundle that must be Christopher. He is so small.

"Here you go. Here's your baby boy."

The nurse gives Becky a brilliant smile before extending her arms to give Becks her son.

I never thought that this moment would be so intense but it is. I can hear Christian and Ashley's combined sniffling and Becky is practically sobbing.

Becky finally has Chris in her arms and she cradles him close with tears flowing freely from her eyes.

"Oh what a beautiful boy. You look just like your father!"

Becky and Christian fawn over him for several minutes while Ashley and I stand back with face splitting smiles on our faces. Ash rests her head on my shoulder and nuzzles my neck slightly and for the first time in two weeks I finally relax.

"Spence come 'ere."

Becky calls to me from her rocking chair and I beam at Ashley before walking slowly to Becky's side.

"Oh my God Becky he is amazing."

Christopher is tiny maybe four pounds but his eyes are a bright green with what looks like specks of gold in them. He's just staring at me with those incredible eyes and my heart is thudding out of my chest.

"You wanna hold him?"

Becky's eyes are twinkling and I've never seen her so happy, it makes my heart melt. The fact that my best friend is so happy makes me unbelievably happy.

I nod enthusiastically while she gently hands me the little man and I immediately feel my whole being turn to mush. He's still staring at me with a little smile or maybe it's a smirk planted on his face.

Ashley comes up beside me and coos at the baby before giving him a kiss on the forehead. I watch her interact with the baby and I can see her eyes shining with delight.

I hand Becky back her son and give her and Christian a quick kiss before we excuse ourselves so they can have some privacy.

"He was adorable, wasn't he Spence? Oh man it reminds me of when Rip was that little. God do you remember those days? Getting up early, getting no sleep but I loved it."

She finishes with a giant smile on her face and it takes me back several years…

_The wailing of a small child rouses me from my sleep. Maybe if I pretend I didn't hear it Ashley will take this one. _

"_Spence baby Ripley is crying again. It's your turn." _

_Her voice is rough and pleading. She doesn't want to get up either. I pretend to fall back asleep but then I feel her shove me roughly._

"_Damnit Ash. Maybe she'll stop crying in a minute."_

_Two feet kick me directly in the stomach and I curl up feeling like I'm going to puke._

"_Spencer get your lazy ass out of bed right now!"_

_The covers are ripped off me and Ashley burrows further into the bed. Well goddamnit. She's been really moody ever since Ripley was born. I read in some book that can happen and of course it happened._

_Just my luck._

_I can feel Ash winding up to kick me again so I practically spring out of bed and grumble to myself as I drag ass to Rip's room._

_No matter how pissed or agitated I am before I get there those feelings always dissipate when I reach her room. As soon as she sees me in the dim light she stops crying and a goofy grin appears on her face._

"_Heeey baby girl. Who's the prettiest little girl in the whole wide world?"_

_She giggles as I lift her out of her crib and give her a small twirl before scooping a bottle of the counter. Her dark eyes sparkle as her greedy hands grab for the bottle._

_I give a small chuckle as I sit down on the rocking chair with Ripley in my arms._

"_You know for someone who complains and almost refuses to get out of bed you sure do seem to like being with that little girl."_

_Ashley's tired voice gets my attention and she's standing in the doorway to Ripley's room with a weary smile. I grin as I stand bouncing Ripley in my arms. Ashley gives me a quick peck before taking Ripley and resuming the bouncing…_

Of course I remember those days. I seriously thought they would never end and I would never get a decent night's sleep again.

Ashley chatters mindlessly the whole drive home but I barely listen my mind wandering to different places.

"Spence where's your head at?"

Her questioning gaze roams over my face and I raise a hand, cupping her face gently.

"You are so beautiful."

Right as I lean in to kiss a blushing Ashley a little voice pipes up from the backseat.

"Ew Mommy no kiss Momma now!"

I can't stop myself from rolling my eyes or groaning in complete frustration. Ashley gives me a sympathetic look before kissing my forehead and climbing out of the car. Ashley walks hand in hand with her mini me into the house while I stay seated in the car.

My forehead bangs against the steering wheel as I relax completely and I release a deep sigh. These past two weeks have been just exhausting and confusing. My poor best friend has been through hell and back while I am having mixed, weird feelings about having another baby.

God I miss my parents.

Right now my mom would know just how to make me feel better. She used to bring me hot cocoa and toast when I was upset.

With a groan and a cracking back I untangle myself from the car and move slowly into the house. It's late and I can already see that Ripley's bedroom light is turned off.

The house is mostly dark and I can hear soft music floating from upstairs. My rubbery legs carry me to Ripley's room where I give her a kiss on the forehead and whisper a quick 'I love you' into her ear.

Her princess nightlight washes a faint glow over her innocent features and she looks identical to Ashley in this moment.

The music gets a little louder as I approach the bedroom and I can't help but smile when I enter our bathroom.

Ashley has her ipod playing softly by our giant tub and she's sitting in it with a goofy grin on her face, holding two glasses of wine.

"Well are you going to join me or just stand there all night?"

Her dark eyes are dancing in the candlelight and the bubbles in the tub are just covering her perfect body.

"Gimme a second Ash, I'll be right back."

She nods biting her bottom lip and I run back into our room, throwing clothes off as I go. My hot wife is waiting for me, naked I might add, and I'm not going to make her stay in there alone.

She's got her eyes closed and is humming along to Sugarland when I reenter the bathroom and slip into the tub across from her.

"Hiya baby, I almost thought you were going to leave me alone in here."

She finishes with an adorable pout and I lean forward giving her a deep kiss, my tongue coming out to massage hers. She pulls back gasping for air and I smirk into her neck.

"Ash?"

My lips blaze a trail up her neck and she arches into me.

"Y-yeah Spence?"

I pull away and stare at her face, waiting for her to open her eyes. Her golden pools finally meet mine and I offer a warm smile.

"I realized something today."

Now she sits up a little straighter and her eyes take on a confused stare. I shouldn't torment her like this but she's just too cute.

"What's that Spence?"

She says the words carefully like I'm about to tell her terrible news that she doesn't really want to hear.

"I uh I'd be ok with another kid if you were."

Her wine glass falls out of her hand and into the tub. Well I don't know if that's a good sign or bad…

**A little cliffhanger for ya! Thanks for everything you guys. Seriously you make my day with the reviews! **


	28. Baby Girl

**I own no part of SON**

**Peace and love to all! **

Her mouth is hanging open and she's blinking rapidly, other than that there is no indication that she's alive.

"Ash, baby you ok?"

My hand massages her neck where it rests and she's repeatedly opening and closing her mouth as if she starts to say something then thinks differently. She closes her eyes and shakes her head.

"Ashley say something sweetie."

Her eyes open and they're a golden shade with greenish specks floating in them. In this instant those eyes are captivating and I'm swallowed whole by her gaze.

"Spence are, are you serious? Don't give me a half ass answer. I want to know the truth, are you serious?"

Her eyes show uneasiness and an almost desperate look. I knew she wanted more children but I never knew just how bad.

My soapy hands cup her face and I press a sweet kiss to her forehead.

"Ashley, my beautiful wife, I want to have another child. No games, no doubts I want this."

A brilliant smile lights up her face and she lunges at me, the wine glass still floating around the tub.

She smashes her lips on mine in a sloppy, wet kiss that leaves me with tingles all over my body.

"Oh my God Spencer, oh my God. I don't even know what to say. Wait yes I do, I love you, I love you, I love you so much."

Her lips dance across my face while I laugh from deep down in my belly. We giggle and kiss and touch until all the bubbles are gone.

Then she wraps me up in a towel with her and we collapse on our bed entwined with one another. I push a damp curl out of her face and she gives me a warm smile. She's absolutely glowing and I wonder why I had doubts.

"Listen Ash I did something and I don't want you to be mad."

Her smile disappears and a frown appears making her eyes go dark.

"What did you do Spencer? Goddamnit you just can't let us be hap-"

I clap my hand over her mouth and fight back a grin. She's too adorable sometimes.

"Ash shut up. All I did was schedule a doctor's appointment."

A shy smile appears on her gorgeous face and she snuggles against me.

"Oh man do you think Ripley is going to be ok with this?"

The realization of our idea hits Ashley for the fist time and she groans into my neck. My hands seem to have a different idea then discussion as they slide over her stomach.

"Let's uh worry about that tomorrow."

I mummer the words against her lips and roll over on top of her, Ashley's giggles bouncing off our bedroom walls.

X X X X X X X X X X

She's beautiful in her sleep. All whimpers and mumbled words with her curly hair splayed out on her black pillow. I'd leave and go make coffee but she's draped across me, effectively pinning me to the bed.

My eyes drift from her gorgeous face to the blinking red light of our bedside clock. Its 7 am, dear God it is still early. Ashley stretches in her sleep and her neck suddenly becomes exposed.

Oh that's going to be hard to resist so I won't even bother trying. A gentle kiss to her neck gets her to squirm in her sleep and when I trail up from her neck to her jawline she practically purrs with delight.

"Mmm Spence, I like the way you say good morning."

She grins with her eyes still closed and I give her a kiss on the lips, letting myself linger there.

"Baby I'm going to go get Rip up and make coffee so you take your time getting up. I love you beautiful."

I can feel her blush against my neck and mummer some sort of response before I slip away from her, pulling some random clothes on.

Wearing a shit eating grin I enter my daughter's room to find her sitting at her desk coloring away furiously.

"Uh Rip whatcha doing baby girl?"

Her little tongue is poking out the side of her mouth as she scribbles even more and as she finishes her dark eyes light up in triumph.

"I coloring."

"Right got that but why?"

Ripley's dark eyes lock with mine in a serious stare. The intensity of her gaze surprises me and I bite back a laugh.

"Mommy is for Christopher's new room. He need picture."

A messily drawn picture of a farm is thrust in my face and then Ripley walks briskly to the bathroom. God she acts like she's thirty sometimes.

As I'm starting to descend the stairs I hear a hairdryer start running and I know Ashley is still in bed, God I wish I could still be in bed. I mean after last night I could use five or six extra hours of sleep.

Anyway that means the person running the hairdryer is my five year old daughter. I groan and turnaround climbing the flight of stairs back to the closed bathroom door.

Just to humor my moody daughter I knock loudly exactly three times.

"Rip what in heaven's name are you doing?"

She must not hear me over the dryer because I get no response. I rub my tired eyes and try to turn the door knob. It's freaking locked.

Ripley has locked the damn door.

I walk back to our room to find Ashley still buried under the covers with her chocolate curls poking out from underneath. The scene is so cute I almost don't want to wake her up but it's not that cute.

"Ash wake up. Ashley. ASHLEY!"

As my voice gets as loud as I can make it she jumps straight off the bed onto her feet with raised fists and wild eyes. Her whole body twitches as she blinks and stares at me crazily.

"Christ Spencer don't wake me up like that! I almost just kicked your ass."

I try to cover up my laughter with a cough but it doesn't fool her and she scowls menacingly at me.

"Sorry baby, uh we got a situation in the bathroom."

She quirks a lazy eyebrow at me questioningly as the beginnings of sunlight peak through our bedroom curtains.

"Uh Spencer what kind of 'situation' are we talking about?"

I grab her by the shoulders and rub her arms soothingly. Goodness she's so pretty even in the early morning with no makeup and her hair a mess.

"Well our darling daughter has locked herself in the bathroom and last I heard the hairdryer was running."

Her eyes go wide and she brushes past me to the bathroom door rapping on it several times in succession.

"Ripley open this door! Damnit Spencer you let her lock herself in there?"

Why am I getting blamed for this? I give her my best "you gotta be shitting me" look and take my turn at yelling at the door.

"Ripley if you don't open this door, I'll uh I'll kick it down!"

Ashley rolls her eyes at me and punches me in the shoulder.

"Oh good one Spence."

While we stand there glaring at each other the bathroom door squeaks open and out steps Ripley. My mouth falls open as she walks out with makeup on and her hair pulled up the best she could.

She's the spitting image of a miniature Ashley right down to her wearing Ashley's three inch heels. When I look at Ash her mouth is agape and Ripley strides right past us like we aren't standing there with our mouths hanging open.

Ripley walks to her room and shuts the door behind her.

"Did that really just happen? Baby she looks just like you!"

I chuckle as I intertwine our fingers and pull her close so that our foreheads rest against each others.

"When did she become a 30 year old?"

Ashley husks against my lips as her mouth grazes mine. One touch from her sends shocks through my whole body.

"We should probably wipe all of that crap off her face."

Ashley giggles at my suggestion and gives me a quick peck before taking off after Ripley.

Dear God and we're going to do this all over again. Lord help us.

**Thank you all for everything and sorry this took a little while. You guys rock. **


	29. The Sky Could Fall Tonight

**I own no part of SON**

**Peace and love to all!  
**

Two pairs of eyes watch with wonder as I down my fifth shot of tequila. Loud music blares from old, blown out speakers in the back of the bar. As I slam my shot glass down I bob my head to the filthy rap music streaming through the old bar.

"Spencer are you sure you're ok with another kid? You're kind of outta control tonight."

I roll my eyes at Carmen and motion for the bartender to bring me another shot. Mmm I loooove tequila.

"Psh I'm fine seriously guys."

Becky and Carmen just nod their heads and watch as I slam another shot down. The liquid almost burns a hole in my throat as it slides its way down.

"So Spencer when is the appointment to ya know start the baking?"

Becky still has the after pregnant glow but it doesn't make me wanna slap the smirk off her face anymore. An unfamiliar pair of eyes meet mine as a blonde girl with dimples walks by and winks at me.

"Uh it's in like two days asshole. Carmen wanna dance?"

The shocked expression on her face does not go unnoticed by me but I need a distraction and a hot, young Latina will do.

"Sure Spence, just lemme…"

She trails off as she slams a shot and then I feel her warm hand in mine as we make our way to the dance floor.

The sound of Ne-Yo's voice fills my head as I start swaying my hips to the music. I'm so drunk I don't really know what is going on the only thing I can focus on are two grey eyes that are piercing my blue ones.

Carmen steps closer and now our bodies are pressed tight against one another. I won't lie and tell you it didn't make me ache with want. Her hips grind against mine and my hands loop around her neck as I groan into her hair.

Carmen breathes hard against my neck as her hands run up my sides. All of a sudden it hits me, this is wrong. This is really wrong and not fair to Ashley or Maddie.

"Why'd you stop?"

Her words are breathless against my shoulder and I feel her lay a light kiss there. I push her back by the shoulders and shake my head.

"Damnit Carmen."

Becky's gaze follows me as I storm out of the bar and Carmen calls after me repeatedly.

"Whoa Spence what the hell?"

The anger I feel towards myself I'm directly at my poor friend but I can't stop and I know I'll be apologizing later.

"That was wrong and you know it! What about Ash? What about Madison? We can't be like that, even if I want to. Damnit!"

My drunken haze is practically gone and my yells are echoing off the alley walls. Carmen's eyes are wide and she stays a few steps away from me, a slight sheen of sweat covering her tight twenty-one year old body. Jesus I need to stop staring at her.

"Spencer…"

She takes a step forward, her voice barely above a whisper, but I hold up a hand to halt her movements.

"No, I won't be the kind of person who cheats. Please I'll just talk to you later ok? Go call Madison and I'll go home to my wife."

Before she can respond I take off at a brisk walk in the direction of my house, my mind spinning with what happened tonight.

It takes me almost an hour to walk all the way home and I sigh with relief at the sight of my house. It's the house that holds everything that matters to me and is soon to hold even more.

Ashley must notice me standing in the front yard because she comes out too and her eyes shine so brightly they put the moon to shame.

"Hi Spence."

Her voice is raspy and she's only wearing shorts and a tank top. My mouth is on hers in a matter of seconds and the way she clings to me drives my actions even further. Some sort of grunting noise escapes my throat as I lift her and her legs wrap around me.

Her hands tangle in my hair as her tongue runs along my bottom lip and we both moan at the contact.

I start walking towards the house but my foot catches on some toy of Ripley's and we both crash to the ground, our lips staying connected.

Ashley pulls back and groans at the contact of hitting the ground with her back but I can't stop kissing her and I do so wherever skin appears; her neck, her face, her shoulder, her barely covered chest.

Right as I kiss the swell of her breast and press harder against her someone near us clears their throat.

"Er ladies there have been complaints about your er activities on the lawn. Please take it inside. Have a good night ladies."

The police officer tips his hat at us and then almost runs back to his car, embarrassed at what he just had to say to us.

"Shit Ash we had the cops called on us."

She laughs underneath me and her eyes twinkle with danger. Before I help her up I give her a deep kiss that leaves us both wanting more. We both stand up and she gives me another kiss, smiling into the contact and my heart soars with love.

She gives my bottom lip a mischievous nip and then she takes off for the house at a run, giggling as I chase after her.

"Hey come back!"

My yells and her giggles ring through the night as I chase her around the yard feeling like I'm eighteen again.

X X X X X X X X X X

Ripley swings her little legs back and forth while she sits on the couch watching us intently. She knows something's up but I don't think she quite realizes what it is.

"Rip your Momma and I have something we want to tell you."

She twirls a curl in between her fingers and stares at me with quizzical eyes. I can't believe I'm this nervous to talk to our daughter.

Ashley's soft hand rests comfortingly in mine as I clear my throat and try to figure out the best way to begin. As I struggle for words Ashley must feel sorry for me because she takes over.

"Baby girl how would you like to have a younger brother or sister?"

Our daughter's eyes dart back and forth from me to Ash while she gnaws on her bottom lip. She looks more and more like Ashley every day.

I look at Ashley nervously as several seconds tick by and our daughter still hasn't said anything. It's almost as if she likes making us sweat.

"Ok."

Ripley shrugs her small shoulders and goes to maneuver herself off the couch.

"Whoa whoa, so you're ok with the whole sibling thing?"

I just can't believe we are getting off this easy. I mean Rip is a pretty even tempered kid but I can't see her sharing us with another kid.

"I like babies. I hope I get brother."

She talks animatedly to herself as she walks upstairs and I stare at Ashley with disbelieving eyes. She gives me a soft smile and a sweet kiss to the cheek.

"That went well."

Her voice is low and when I focus she's staring at my neck with hungry eyes. I swallow thickly and nod my head.

"Yeah Rip seemed really ok with it."

She starts kissing my neck and her tongue comes out when she reaches my collarbone.

"Ash…Ripley is right upstairs…mmm…God!"

Her hands start to wander over my body as her lips and teeth continue to caress my neck. Ashley's body hovers over mine as we settle down on the couch and we both moan as her whole body presses against mine.

"SPENCER! SPENCER SPENCER SPENCER!"

Freakin' A, someone, it sounds like Becky, is yelling at me through an open window. Note to self never leave windows open when crazy best friend might be around. Ashley growls against my neck and I decide that it's my new favorite sound.

"Baby I guess I should let her in or she's just going to keep yelling."

My voice doesn't sound nearly convincing as it should because Ashley's eyes are dark and her body is still pressed firmly against mine.

"Fine but we're finishing this later."

Her teeth nip my earlobe before she pushes herself off me and stalks out of the living room. My whole body is tingling with unfulfilled want and I groan when I hear the shower running. Now I'm picturing Ashley naked, naked and wet.

"SPENCER LET ME INSIDE RIGHT NOW!"

Oh right Becky is standing outside. Forgot about her because all I can think about is fuc- need to stop right now I need to stop thinking about that.

I roll off the couch and land with a thud on the floor, pausing because I think I hear Ashley's moans coming from upstairs. No I have to be imagining things.

When I unlock the door and open it I find a very pissed off looking Becky holding a giggling Christopher.

"We need to talk. Oh and nice hickey."

She thrusts Chris into my arms and marches into the house. I guess I'll hold him, jerk. I find her in the kitchen fixing herself a sandwich and I sit down with her son on my lap.

"So what's up Becks? I hate you by the way."

When she meets my gaze her eyes are cold and full of anger.

"What happened last night? And you better tell me the truth because I'm not afraid to hit you Spencer."

Oh well I wasn't expecting this, crap.

"Carmen and I danced, we fought, I came home and had mind blowing sex with Ashley."

Becky's eyes narrow and the look reminds me of a mother reprimanding her child.

"Details Spencer I'm serious. You left looking pissed and Carmen left crying. What happened and don't make me ask again."

Christopher grabs my hair and squeals with delight as I figure out the best way to tell Becky I thought about cheating on Ashley last night.

"Our dancing got a little heated and uh she kissed my shoulder. I got pissed and went outside because I don't want to be that kind of person ya know? Well I accidentally admitted to wanting to sleep with Carmen and then I told her to basically get away from me. It was stupid and not what I want. I want Ash, I want my family."

I hate myself when tears spring up in my eyes and Becky's cold eyes seem to melt away. She moves to sit in the chair next to me and rests a comforting hand on my thigh. Becks gives me a small smile and then takes a deep breath.

"You didn't actually do anything wrong. If you think Ashley doesn't think about sleeping with the hottie she sees out and about you're crazy. I think about other guys but I never act on it. You don't ever act on it so it's ok to look to think about. You're a good person Spence and you have a smokin' wife. I mean if anyone could turn me it'd be Ashley."

I laugh despite the tears and Becky gives me a kiss on the forehead right as Ashley walks downstairs with Ripley in tow.

"Christopher! Can we go in the living room?"

Ashley and Becky both nod lovingly as Becks takes both children to the living room. Ashley smells like her coconut shampoo and her damp curls hang loosely around her face. She's absolutely stunning.

"Did you and Becky have a nice chat?"

She talks as she starts to find lunch and it's so routine, so wife-ish and I love it.

"I love you."

The emotion behind my words surprise me and apparently Ashley too because when she turns around her eyes are filled with concern. Her hand cups my cheek and she pulls me into a tight hug.

"Spence I love you too baby."

Her lips land on my forehead and I breathe the smell of her in deep.

"Hey hey love birds hand check."

I feel Ashley blush against my neck and I give a deep chuckle. Becky just grins like an idiot before sitting down at our table.

"So how's your husband?"

The three of us settle around our kitchen table a baby monitor in the middle of us. Becky takes a huge bite of her sandwich before answering with her mouth full of course.

"Oh he's doing well. He's such a great father."

Her eyes glaze over with love and I bite back a laugh. My knee slams against the table when I feel Ashley's hand caressing the inside of my thigh. Jesus the woman is trying to kill me.

"That's great to hear. Have you heard anything from Madison lately? I can't seem to get a hold of her."

Ashley sounds worried about her best friend and her hand momentarily stops its movements. At the halting of her hand I quickly cross my legs and a satisfied smirk finds its way on my face.

"Well I just talked to Carmen and the reason you probably can't get a hold of Madison is because the two of them have been fighting recently. I don't think it's anything too serious though."

Ashley shoots out of her chair and grabs her keys.

"I have to go to Madison's. I'll be home for dinner Spencer."

She kisses my cheek and then she's gone. I stare at the space she was just occupying and release a deep sigh.

"Now what am I going to do all day."

I don't mean to pout or sound like such a whiny child but I was looking forward to a day of teasing from Ashley.

"Try hanging out with your daughter. Call me later Spence."

Great now Becky is gone too. Ripley pads into the kitchen and almost as if she can read my mood she climbs into my lap.

"Mommy can we watch movie all day. I is tired."

I nod and let her lead me into the living room where we settle on the couch my fingers dragging through her hair. Her small body nestles into mine and I take a mental picture because I know this won't last long.

**Thanks to everyone for everything! You guys are awesome, seriously. **

**xoxo**


	30. One Step At A Time

**I own no part of SON**

**Peace and love to all!**

The small room they've put us in has four plain, white walls. This feels more like a prison cell than a room in a doctor's office.

Ashley sits on the main chair with a huge smile on her face and I do my best to give her a smile but this room is seriously giving me the creeps.

And where is the doctor? Why is it that they make you wait in a 'waiting room' then you're put in here and you wait even more? Seriously what is with all the waiting?

There's finally a knock at the door before a young woman of about 25 walks in giving us a radiant smile.

"Hello ladies, I'm Dr. Rivers. It's very nice to meet the two of you."

She shakes both our hands and I notice that she holds Ashley's hand a little longer than necessary, bitch. I grab Ash's hand and stand almost on top of her claiming what is rightfully mine.

"So did all my tests clear?"

I watch the doctor and Ashley converse but I don't participate oh no I make sure that woman doesn't touch my wife. All of a sudden both women are looking at me expectantly. Crap they must have asked me something.

"Uh I'm sorry what?"

Ashley gives me a soft smile and squeezes my hand; her eyes seem to dance today.

"Did you want to be in here during implantation?"

The thought of someone or something 'implanting' my wife makes me feel sick and I must visibly pale because Ashley is laughing softly at me.

"How about you wait right outside Mrs. Davies?"

The dumb bitch is right I should just wait outside I mean I made the mistake of staying in the room last time…

_I nuzzle Ashley's neck affectionately as we wait for the doctor to come knock Ashley up. _

"_Have I told you recently how beautiful you are?" _

_I watch with delight as she blushes at my question and looks away from me shyly. _

"_Spencer."_

"_No you are. And you're sexy too." _

_She gives me a grin followed by a quick kiss right as the door opens and the doctor comes in wielding what looks similar to a Nerf water gun. What the hell is that for?_

_I hear voices but they seem to be far off as Ashley sits with her legs in the air and he sticks-oh no he isn't, oh God he is._

_All of a sudden I'm on one of those doctor table/chairs things and Ashley is running a wet cloth across my forehead. _

"_Baby you ok?" _

_She sounds somewhere between amused and concerned. _

"_Uh what happened?"_

_The last thing I remember is when the doctor stuck that thing in my wife. It gives me shudders just to think about it. _

"_Spence you passed out, hit your head pretty hard too."_

"_Baby I never, ever wanna see someone stick something in you again."_

_She just laughs as she helps me stand and we walk hand in hand back to our car. I hate the doctor._

The sight of my smiling wife brings me out of my daydream and I get up from sitting in a hard plastic chair.

"Everything go ok? Sorry I can't stomach this thing."

I really do feel bad that I can't stand in there and hold her hand. She gives me a nose crinkling smile, effectively turning me into a puddle of mush, and kisses me sweetly on the lips.

She laces her fingers with mine and rests her head on my shoulder as we walk.

"Everything is fine baby. We'll come back in a few weeks for an ultrasound, make sure that I'm actually pregnant."

Just thinking about Ash pregnant turns me on and gives the willies at the same time, she was a scary mo-fo last time she was pregnant.

We drive the ten minutes to where Ripley is playing at Kyla's house and I'm kind of excited to see my brother.

"Spencer! Ashley! Hey guys!"

Glen comes jogging towards the car with a huge grin on his face and I let him envelope me in a crushing hug. My ribs start to throb as he squeezes me close and Ashley's laughter seems to encourage him to hold on longer.

"Glen…put me…down!"

He finally releases me and grabs my wife as Kyla waddles out onto the yard. She pats me on the back as I gasp for breath and Glen gets smacked across the chest by my wife.

"Glen Carlin knock it off! You almost killed your sister and stop torturing mine!"

Kyla's belly is very swollen and she has that pissy pregnant air about her. It's a harsh preview of what my life will be like very soon.

"Hey Ky."

Ashley greets her sister with a hug and wraps an arm around her before they take off for the house. My curly haired brother and I follow our wives into the house where the sound of three giggling girls can be heard loud and clear.

"Was Rip ok for you guys?"

Glen holds the door open for me as we enter his house and three small bodies shoot up the stairs in a fit of giggles. He smiles affectionately as his daughters race by and he hands me a beer.

"Of course she was good. She's always better behaved than our girls."

He starts puttering around the kitchen and I look around to make sure Ashley isn't nearby. I really need some big brotherly advice.

"Glen can I ask you a question?"

The sound of his knife chopping lettuce on a cutting board stops as he turns to face me. I take a long swig of beer and our blue eyes stare at each other.

"What's up Spence?"

He leans his lanky frame against the counter and crosses his arms across his chest. Glen's eyes are soft as he waits patiently for me to start talking.

"The other night I went out with Becky and Carmen."

"Oh dude Carmen is super hot!"

"Ok Glen not helping."

"Sorry Spence, go ahead."

"Anyway so the three of us were out and I was really drunk. Well I was dancing with Carmen and I enjoyed it too much. I was ready to fuck her right there. I mean I was so turned on by what we were doing and I almost did something I would have regretted."

His eyes narrow and I watch him take a deep breath. I know with what happened with Kyla he is pretty pissed about anything to do with cheating, probably even someone who thinks about it.

"Spencer," he sighs my name, "don't do it, don't even think about it. Do you realize how incredibly lucky you are? Ashley loves you. She loved you even when you were that messed up kid all those years ago. You love her don't you?"

I don't even have to think about it.

"Of course I love her. She means the world to me."

"Then act like it. I don't know what kind of spell Carmen has you under but snap out of it. She's with someone and you're freaking married, with one kid and another on the way."

He's right, lately he's nothing but right. He gives me a sympathetic look before grabbing me by the shoulders.

"Glen thank you. I'm going to figure this out."

"Spencer everyone thinks about other people but I swear to God if you cheat on Ashley I'll kick your skinny ass."

We chuckle together before Ashley strides into the room followed closely by a swollen Kyla. Ash gives me a shy smile with a bite to her bottom lip as she listens to Kyla rant about her heartburn.

I love it when Ashley gives me those coy looks and it always, always makes me blush. Yup I'm blushing right now.

The sound of several padding feet draw all of our attention to the three little girls racing into the kitchen.

"Mommy! Momma!"

Ripley launches herself into Ashley's arms while Alexis and Emma jump on Glen. Kyla and I smile warmly at our families. We kiss and hug everyone goodbye before jumping in our car to head home.

X X X X X X X X X X X

The smell of Italian food reaches my nose while I lie on the couch trying to catch a quick nap. My stomach rumbles with hunger as I keep my eyes closed breathing in the scent of whatever is cooking.

A pair of lips land on the side of my mouth and I grin keeping my eyes closed.

"Come on Spence the food is ready."

"But baaaby I don't wanna get up!"

A husky chuckle follows my whine and I can't help but look at her. I mean if you were married to such a beautiful person you'd never be able to resist looking at her either.

Opening my eyes turns out to be so worth it. Her curly hair is longer and she lets it rest on or around her shoulders. Her hazel eyes seem to twinkle as she grins at me and she's leaning over just enough that her shirt hangs down, awesome.

"Spencer stop looking at me like that!"

She slaps me playfully and stands up straight, a slight blush coating her cheeks. I wrinkle my forehead at her and set up slightly.

"Look at you like what?"

She bends down so our noses brush slightly and her lips almost touch mine.

"Like you wanna fuck me."

A noise that sounds very similar to a growl leaves my throat as her eyes turn even darker than normal. The lump in my throat is hard to swallow but I manage it and almost on instinct my eyes flicker down to her lips.

"We uh should start dinner. I bet Rip is hungry."

It's like she knows when her name gets mentioned because I hear her bounding down the stairs. Ashley grins at me and gives me a quick kiss that makes me tingle all the way down to my toes.

The sound of Ripley squealing with delight gets me to join my family at the dinner table. After an hour or so of amazing food and a lot of laughs I start clearing the table. Ripley gives me a big hug then goes to hug her mother and her words make my heart skip a beat.

"Momma you goin have a boy! My baby brother in there."

Her arms are still wrapped around Ashley's midsection and Ashley stares at me with watery eyes. She bites her lip and I can see she doesn't know what to say as Rip continues to stroke her stomach cooing at where a baby would be.

I give Ripley a warm smile and usher her upstairs before I turn back to Ashley still standing there absolutely shell shocked.

"We have a pretty amazing little girl don't we?"

All Ashley can do is nod with tears in her eyes and I pull her close to hold her. I'll always be there to hold her close.

**Thanks to everyone for all the stuff! There's only about 10 chapters left then I might take a little break before starting a new story that I already have ideas for. Again thank you all.**


	31. The Tide

**I own no part of SON**

**Peace and love to all! **

_Month One_

I've been watching her with a cautious stare. She's been humming recently which wouldn't be weird except she's doing it constantly.

"Baby why are you looking at me like that?"

We are both just relaxing on the deck, me with a glass of wine and her reading a magazine while Ripley plays in the back yard. I've been so busy waiting for her to blow up I forgot I was staring at her.

"Uh n-nothing Ash, you're just beautiful that's all."

She arches a perfect eyebrow at me and shakes her head before returning to her magazine. Ah that was close.

"Spencer do you smell that?"

Shit here we go again.

"No baby I don't smell anything."

"Really because it smells like…like…maybe peanut butter. Yeah it definitely smells like peanut butter."

My sniffing gets me no where and I can't seem to smell what she can. Now she's making a face like she's going to vomit, great.

"Ashley I really don't sm-"

"Spence make it stop I'm going to hurl!"

There is no excuse for my reaction except that I panic. I am genuinely afraid as I reach over and pinch her nose closed.

The look on her face is priceless and I can't stop the giggle that escapes me. Apparently my laughing is pretty funny because Ashley gives a sexy, husky chuckle before slapping my hand away playfully.

Her hand cups my cheek as her eyes glow and I lean in giving her a deep kiss. We keep it PG because I can feel Ripley watching us.

"Mommy cwan Alexis and Emma play?"

Ashley nuzzles my neck and stays there as Ripley walks up to us with pleading eyes. I really don't need all three girls here.

"Rip I'll call your Aunt but those girls can only come if Kyla or Glen stays plus it is getting late."

The sun is already starting to set, turning the sky all red and purple and orange. It's my favorite time of the day. Most days I spend this time wrapped up in Ashley and enjoying a glass of wine.

Ripley squeals with delight and runs inside to "get ready". I don't know what she has to do to get ready but whatever. The phone call to our siblings is short with them agreeing to join us. I was hoping they would say no because all I want to do is enjoy a quiet evening with Ashley.

"Stop pouting Spencer it doesn't suit you."

Ashley mumbles from the crook of my neck and I wonder how she can tell I'm pouting. She may know me too well.

"I'm not pouting."

I feel her grin against my neck and it only makes me pout more.

"Baby you're pouting, why?"

She brings her face out of my neck and meets my gaze. Her hazel eyes are bright in the dim light as her eyes search my face.

"First off I'm not pouting, I'm brooding if you must label it and second I wanted to spend a night with just you."

She gets up and crawls into my lap her hands stroking my stomach softly. The feeling of her soft touches makes me practically purr.

"Feel better yet?"

My sigh of contentment is her answer and we sit like that until we hear Kyla and Glen's voices from inside the house. I groan at the interruption as a very swollen Kyla and a frazzled Glen join us.

"Well aren't you two just too cute."

Kyla's voice has a harsh edge to it and it makes us cringe.

"Great to see you too Ky."

Ashley returns fire with just as much bite to her words. Glen and I exchange worried glances as the two sisters interact.

"Don't test me Ashley, I'm not in the mood."

Great now Kyla is provoking Ashley so I motion at Glen to grab my wife and run away but the idiot can't take a hint.

"Kyla you don't scare me you fat cow!"

I can almost hear Glen's jaw hit the deck as we all stare at Ashley with disbelieving eyes.

"Hey Ash can I talk to you, now?"

Glen grabs Ashley's arm and drags her away despite the nasty look she is giving him. So that leaves me alone with a volatile Kyla.

Kyla's big, brown eyes are shining with unshed tears and I have to admit she looks pretty pathetic.

"Listen Kyla I'm sure she didn't mean it."

Apparently this is the wrong thing to say because the tears break free.

"Of course she meant it! She's an evil bitch and just rubbing it in that her life is going so well and mine isn't. I mean you guys are fine and we are day to day. She's loving it."

Kyla collapses into a nearby chair with her hands cradling her head. Oh boy if she thinks Ash and I have it easy she's an idiot.

"Whoa whoa whoa, who told you that our life is easy or fine? Ashley and I fight on almost a daily basis. Did you know that Carmen is a constant source of trouble for us? Did you know that I've made her sleep on the couch more times then I can tell you? You two are arguing because you're both hormonal and irrational. Now here she comes play nice, please."

Glen and Ashley walk towards us, Glen with a very pleased look on his face and Ashley hanging her head in shame. What did he say to her?

Ashley grabs Kyla and pulls her into a tight hug as Glen pulls my away by the wrist.

"Glen what did you say to her?"

He just grins and shakes his head.

"Oh don't worry about it."

I hate him sometimes.

X X X X X X X X X X

Her mouth burns a hot trail up my stomach to my neck as she claws at the buttons on my jeans. I am so unbelievably turned on right now and Ashley has to be able to tell by the loud moans repeatedly leaving my mouth.

My own hands fumble with the buttons of her shirt and she grinds harder into me, making me only moan louder.

Now we are both shirtless and grappling with each other all over our giant bed. Right now I'm pinned beneath her and I've decided it's an ok place to be.

Her teeth are leaving marks all over my neck but right now I couldn't care less. My fingers dip below the waistband of her jeans and I stroke her hip bone.

"Oh shit."

Ashley jumps off me like I'm diseased and rushes to the bathroom.

"Ash what the hell?"

I hear her puke violently and I'm immediately turned off. Well that didn't take much. Hearing her puke everywhere was the equivalent of having ice water tossed down my back.

With a groan and heavy steps I take off for where my wife is puking her guts out. Isn't this shit supposed to happen in the morning, not when I'm trying to have sex?

She's currently curled around the toilet bowl and shaking with chills.

"Come here Ash."

She gives a pathetic whimper and crawls into my arms while I coo into her ear.

"Thank you baby."

"Yeah no problem Ashley I mean this is soooo much better than sex."

She laughs into my chest and then I hear her breathing start to even out. Being the wonderful wife I am I tuck Ashley in and kiss her temple goodnight before climbing in next to her.

"I love you."

X X X X X X X X X X

I can't breathe. Something is crushing me. My burning lungs force me awake to find Ashley's elbow jabbing me in the throat. I roll out from underneath her and land with a thud on the ground gasping for breath.

"Ok Mommy?"

Ripley stands above me with her hands on her hips and an almost condescending look in her young eyes. I nod and stand up rubbing my head where I fell.

Ashley is drooling in her sleep and starts to mumble about drunk elephants. She is so weird. I give Rip the shush finger and she nods seriously before waltzing away with me in tow.

Just like her mother I'd follow this brunette anywhere.

**Ok if you can't tell I'm breaking down the last chapters by Ashley's month of pregnancy. Thanks for everything, you guys are awesome. **

**xoxo**


	32. Sweet Silver Lining

**I own no part of SON**

**Peace and love to all! **

_Month Two…_

I'm trying desperately to keep my eyes open. You'd have trouble too if you were me. Ripley is dressed as a giant tomato and reciting the Pledge of Allegiance. She's partaking in some form of a play but I can't focus. Ashley kept me up all night with her vomiting and just general pregnant problems.

Now she has the audacity to elbow me in the ribs when I start to drift off. She must notice jabbing me isn't working so I feel her fingers dance along the inside of my thigh and I immediately sit up straighter.

Oh no fair she knows how long it's been since we had sex and she's using it as a weapon.

"Quit fidgeting Spencer. It's almost over."

I bite my lip to hold back a moan as her fingers slowly trail higher. Just has her fingers can't really go any higher the lights snap on and her fingers disappear as she claps enthusiastically with the other school parents.

My head is spinning and I can't seem to focus on anything.

"Mommy, Momma!"

Our little munchkin waddles towards us in her tomato suit, her little curls sticking every which way from out of her suit. She's adorable and I pull out the camera to snap a picture of Rip hugging a grinning Ashley.

"Hey Ripley good job tonight, we are so proud of you sweetie."

Ashley continues to coo in her ear as I absent mindedly answer my buzzing phone.

"Yeah?"

"_Spence? Come to the hospital now Ky is having her kid!" _

Becky hangs up and I just stand there frozen while Ashley chats with the other PTA moms about who is bringing cookies to the next meeting.

"Spence, baby are you ok?"

Her hand comes to rest comfortingly on my arm and it gets me to snap out of my daze. I whirl towards her and scoop the tomato shaped Ripley into my arms in one motion.

"We gotta go. Your sister is in labor!"

Ashley's beautiful eyes go wide as she takes off for our car while I try to keep up while balancing Ripley on my hip.

"Mommy, why run?"

I can't even breath because carrying this overweight costume is killing me. With one swift motion I throw Rip on my back and charge after a crazed Ashley.

"Sweetie your aunt Kyla is having her baby."

The drive takes a matter of minutes thanks to Ashley's insane driving and when we enter the waiting room the whole gang is there waiting for us. Becky is bouncing a baby Christopher while Christian watches like a hawk, Madison and Carmen are huddled together in the far corner, and Glen is sitting with Alexis and Emma.

Ashley pecks my cheek before disappearing down the hall. I sit with Glen and hold his hand while our three girls speak softly.

They seem to know that something big is going on.

"You ok?"

Glen simply squeezes my hand harder as his answer and continues to stare off into space. Carmen's sharp eyes meet mine and she gives a small smile. Her long hair is pulled back in a simple ponytail and her hand rests lazily on Madison's thigh.

"Spence, what, what if I don't love this kid?"

His shoulders slump and right now in this bright hospital waiting room he looks years older then he should.

"Don't think like that, of course you'll love him. You're a great dad."

I can feel Carmen staring at me and I make myself focus on my brother.

"Yeah I'm great with Alexis and Emma, they are _my_ kids but this time…"

He finishes with a frustrated sigh and runs his fingers through his hair. I sit there and do the only thing that there is to do, I rub his back and keep quiet. Glen needs to figure this out himself.

Grey eyes meet mine and she gives me a smile before whispering into Madison's ear. I feel nothing, no jealousy or lust. The only feeling I have towards her right now is friendship.

The double doors bust open and my beautiful wife scans the room quickly before her gaze settles on Glen.

"You should go see her."

Glen stands wordlessly and gives Ashley's arm a squeeze when he passes her. As the doors shut I can hear his foot steps echo down the deserted hall. I feel for him I really do. What if I cheated on Ash? The thought makes me feel sick.

"Come here baby, you look exhausted."

Ashley smiles in thanks and huddles next to me as I slowly stroke her hair.

"Spencer, is Glen going to be ok?"

I pause for a few moments and really think about it. Is Glen going to be ok? Will he feel like the child is his once he sees those tiny hands?

"I dunno, how would you feel?"

She nestles closer to me and breathes deeply against my neck.

"You'd never do that to me."

Her words are so sure and so strong that they give me the conviction I've needed. She's right when it boils down to it I could never, ever betray her.

"Ash, I love you."

Her gaze meets mine and we kiss briefly before I feel Ripley crawl onto our chair. Her little head rests against my shoulder and I circle my arms protectively around her.

Soon there is even breathing on either side of me and I know both my girls are asleep. Becky walks over and smiles softly at my family.

"Spence, they are beautiful."

Ripley whimpers in her sleep and curls further into me right as Ashley mumbles and it makes me grin.

"Aren't they? Hey we're going to head out."

My best friend nods and kisses the top of my head before returning to her husband. Somehow I sort of wake Ash and we manage to get in the car. She falls back asleep quickly in the car so I have to wake her again to get her inside.

I get Ripley settled in bed and check for monsters in her closet then walk softly to my room. She's passed out on the giant bed with her clothes still on and I don't have the heart to wake her again.

"Goodnight baby."

I settle beside her and I feel her instinctively more towards me.

X X X X X X X X X X

A girly shriek startles me awake and then I feel Ripley dive into our bed under the covers. Dear God what is going on and its only, ugh 8 am.

"Rip, what are you doing?"

Her head pokes out and her eyes are wide with fear, she's even shaking slightly.

"I bwoke the lamp. Momma so mad."

Ooo in that case I might hide too. The sound of heavy footsteps can be heard coming up the stair and my daughter squeaks in fear again. I'm doing my best not to laugh because I find all of this kind of funny.

Ashley's head of messy curls appears in our doorway and she's carrying the half shattered lamp.

"Spence, where's Rip? I'm gonna throw her in the garbage."

She winks at me and it's so good to see her happy and playful. I feel two small arms wrap around my waist and I have to bite back a laugh.

"Gee Ash, I don't know where she is? Did you check in the closet?"

I point to the quivering shape next to me and Ashley is trying so hard not to bust into laughter. The little arms around my waist squeeze me tighter when Ashley walks heavily into the room.

"Nope she's not in the closet."

Her chocolate eyes sparkle as she climbs onto the bed and she gives me a slow kiss before she rips the covers off me, revealing our daughter clinging to me.

Ash grabs Ripley by the ankles and starts to pull but Rip has a death grip on me and we all end up in a pile on the floor.

We all end up laughing and I wipe a tear away as I grin at Ashley. Ripley takes the opportunity to run for her life as we stay locked in our trance.

Her hand comes to rest over her stomach and I put my hand over hers. She smiles widely at our entwined hands that are resting lightly on her stomach.

Our future is resting safely beneath our hands and our present shrieks as the dog gives a howl. The soundtrack of my life may just be noise to anyone else but to me it's the most beautiful music.

**I'm really going to try and pump these out a little faster. Its getting hard though since its drawing to a close. **

**Thanks for everything you guys rock! **

**xoxo**


	33. Fall

**I own no part of SON**

**Peace and love to all!**

Right now, this situation is why I don't like sharing my wife with the public eye. Even with her small baby bump they stare. They undress my wife with their eyes right in front of me and it makes my blood boil. She is mine.

The restaurant is dimly lit and I scowl into the darkness as people walk by to stare. Yes she's gorgeous and seems to have been dropped straight from the heavens. I get it, I really do but they don't need to look at her like that.

"Spencer, stop it."

She grabs my hand across the table and distracts me from giving territorial looks to the people passing by our table. The only thing that keeps me from going into full on crazy mode is the way she's looking at me. Her eyes have a certain glow to them and I feel like we're looking at each other like we used to back when we were twenty something.

I'll always remember how she used to look at me with such adoration, such care. She was the reason I survived.

"Sorry baby but I don't like people looking at you like that."

Ashley's face scrunches up in confusion and I think it's the most adorable thing I've ever seen.

"Like what?"

Now it's my turn to give a look of confusion. We must make quite the pair staring at each other in complete and utter puzzlement.

"You don't see them looking at you like they want you?"

How can she not notice all the staring, all the glances? Ashley's smile is warm and she scoots her chair closer to mine.

"You're all I see."

Well I didn't know it was possible to fall in love all over again, but now that she's talking like that…

"I love you."

We both smile as soft music plays around us. The waiter interrupts us with our food and we eat in a comfortable silence.

Right as I go to grab the check there is a sharp pang across my forehead. When I grimace a flash of worry passes across Ashley's face.

"Spence, what is it?"

The pain is stealing my breath away and it feels like someone is standing on my head, my vision even blurs for a second. All I can do is look at Ashley with tears in my eyes. As soon as the pain came, it's gone again and when I open my eyes Ashley has a panicky look.

"Spence, Spence can you hear me? Baby…"

Her soft hand is wiping the cold sweat off my face and she throws down some money before leading me out to the car. There's a dull ache in my head and it only gets worse with each bump the car goes over.

Now I'm in the dark on the living room couch with Ashley softly stroking my head.

"Spencer talk to me, please you're scaring me."

Sharp, shooting pains hit me in jolts as I stare at her with watery eyes. She's so pale and worried is etched all over her face.

"Ash, I think-I think something is wrong."

I try to bite back a strangled groan but it gets away from me and Ashley cringes before grabbing the phone. The pain is so much and the edges of my vision are blurring.

"Ash…Ash, I-I'm…"

Blackness.

X X X X X X X X X X

Soft murmurs and the feeling of her hand stroking mine wake me up. As my eyes open I take in my surroundings, from the dripping I.V. stand to the numerous machines next to my bed.

"Ashley, what's going on?"

My voice is gruff and my eyes are slow to open all the way but it doesn't prevent me from seeing how much of a wreck my wife is.

"Oh Spencer, baby how do you feel?"

Her eyes are red and puffy; it makes me wonder what's made her cry so much? The throbbing in my head is now a dull ache and I'm guessing it has to do with whatever I'm hooked up to.

"My head hurts less. Ashley what's wrong?"

Right then an older man with silver hair and glasses walks into the room carrying a clipboard.

"Oh hello Spencer, it's good to see you awake. I'm Dr. Roberts, how are you feeling?"

His eyes are kind but intelligent, sharp and I trust him instantly.

"I'm feeling better. You going to tell me what's going on?"

Ashley's hand finds its way into my own and she squeezes hard before the doctor starts talking.

"Well Spencer when you came in here did a head CT and it revealed some unfortunate news. We found a mass near your brain stem…it is operable but it's a risky procedure. It can result in paralysis, hearing loss, and there's a small chance for memory loss."

His mouth is moving but I'm not really hearing him. There is no way this is really happening and now Ashley's bloodshot eyes make sense.

Silent sobs are racking her body and the horror of the situation is plain on her face. Even though she's heard this already, she's a mess.

I can't bring myself to cry or sob or anything like that. All I can do is sit in complete shock. My mind is buzzing with everything I haven't done, all the people I love: Becky, Ripley, Glen, and God Ashley.

"So, what if we do nothing? What if I leave it?"

My voice is weirdly calm, rational but fear has turned my blood cold. ' gives me a pained smile.

"Spencer, I really advise not leaving it. We don't know how stable it is and it could rupture at any moment. It's already putting an immense amount of pressure on your brain."

I take a deep, shuddering breath and keep my gaze locked with Ashley. There's so much fear and confusion in her eyes. Her hand is shaking in mine and there are tears streaming down her face.

"Can I think on it? Can I have a few days to decide?"

Both other parties seem shocked and I can tell they were expecting me to have surgery right away. They don't realize I can't take all this in right now, this is too much.

"Uh yes but please don't think too long. You can go home but be careful and aware of any pain or pressure. I'll write up your discharge papers."

I nod as he leaves the room and when I look at Ashley she's staring at me in disbelief.

"What Ash?"

There are tears in her eyes again and her hands are in her hair. I grab my pile of clothes folded neatly at the end of my bed and start to redress.

"H-How can you even be thinking about anything other than surgery? Are you crazy?"

Her voice cracks at the end and there's pure terror dripping from her voice. I grab her hand and pull her into me.

"Please baby let's just go home and talk about this, ok?"

She nods into my shoulder and the whole drive home all I can think about or see are her eyes back in my hospital room.

X X X X X X X X X X X

Our house is empty when we return, Ripley spending the night obliviously at Ashley's parents. Her keys clatter to the kitchen counter harshly and the clicking of her heels seem to echo in my head. How do this happen?

"Do the surgery. Please Spencer, do the damn surgery."

I whirl around to face her and stop myself from yelling at her.

"Ashley don't you get it? If I do this operation I could be gone, like me the person you love could be gone. I could forget you, forget Rip. I can't do that."

The chair I was sitting on bangs to the floor as I shoot to the standing position. In the dim room I see a single tear run down her beautifully broken face. Her thin arms are folded defensively in front of her chest and her make-up is smudged messily.

"Or you could die."

She shakes her head before taking off in the other direction, a strangled sob escaping her perfect mouth. I know that I have to get this surgery but the idea of losing Ashley and Rip is so painful.

The worst part is I won't even realize I've lost them. And the memory loss is just a part of it, dear God I could be paralyzed or even become deaf.

Ashley's footsteps are heavy upstairs and I know she's just as scared as I am. For the first time tears start falling from my eyes and now that they've come I don't think I can stop. My legs seem too weak to be able to hold me anymore and I collapse onto the cold linoleum floor. I try to keep quiet so she doesn't hear me but my sobs are growing louder and soon I'm not even attempting to hold them in.

The pain comes in waves through my body and when her arms circle around me I bury my face in her hair. She's stroking my hair and rocking me like a small child as I break down in her arms.

"I-I am s-so scared."

My confession is whispered against her hair and I feel her nod against me.

"Me too baby, me too."

I don't remember getting into bed that night and I don't remember crying myself to sleep but after a fitful night I wake up to Ashley's hushed cries coming from the bathroom. When I enter the bathroom the shower is running but Ashley is sitting on the edge of the tub with her face in her hands.

As I sit next to her she wipes at her face to clear away the tears. I grab her wrists and bring her lips to mine.

It feels like its been years since I've had her lips against mine. The kiss is salty, warm and filled with anxiety. I can feel all the emotions bottled behind Ashley's kiss and as we embrace I know what I'm going to do.

I'll do whatever she wants because no one else, nothing else matters.

**Sorry that took awhile. I am so unbelievably, crazy busy! **

**Thanks to everyone and mutt009 thanks for the song. I loved it and will use it soon! I totally knew what you meant.**

**xoxo **


	34. Ready, Set, Don't Go

**I own no part of SON**

**Peace and love to all! **

Her door is bright red. It's newly painted, I can tell, and her house is almost too white. Really her house is like annoyingly white, so I'll say that's why my sunglasses are staying on my face. They aren't there because my eyes are bloodshot and gross, well maybe that too.

I can hear her behind the red door. She's hollering at her husband and the cat at the same time. If I was capable I'd probably be laughing right now.

This trip I've put off for two days and Ashley is waiting in the car by the curb. This is something I have to do myself but it's nice to have her close, just in case.

Right as I ring the doorbell a silver car pulls out of the driveway and Christian waves pleasantly. I try to put some enthusiasm behind my return gesture. It doesn't work.

Her face lights up when she opens the door and I'm surrounded in all that is Becky in moments. As soon as she hugs me I start crying. I can't help it, the floodgates just fly open and now I'm sobbing into her shoulder.

"Spence, what the hell? Did you and Ashley have a fight? Do I need to kick her ass?"

We're barely in her door and I wave back towards the car to keep Ashley from rushing inside. I want to talk to my best friend alone.

Becky's bright green eyes dart to the car on the street and then she's staring at me again.

"Can we sit down somewhere?"

My voice is strained and sounds worn, like a record that's been played too much.

"Sure, sure. Can you tell me what the hell is going on?"

We sit amongst several plastic baby toys in the living room and I see Christopher asleep in a playpen.

"I need to tell you something…"

God, how do I do this?

My best friend of the better part of my life sits patiently and rests a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"It's ok Spence, just tell me."

I close my eyes because if I can't see her reaction maybe, just maybe it won't be as horrible.

"I-I am having surgery."

Well that didn't come out like I wanted. My eyes peek open and she's staring at me with these questioning, squinty eyes.

"What?"

See she's really confused. Mainly because I'm a coward and couldn't just tell her the full truth.

"I'm having brain surgery. Becks, I have a brain tumor. I'm having surgery in two days."

Her face is unreadable as she just stares at me. I watch her jaw clench and her hand that rests on my arm is trembling.

The silence between us is unbearable and watching her try to keep it together is breaking my heart.  
"I don't understand…where did this come from?"

She looks so confused and the pain is clearly written across her face. It's like I can read her mind because I know she's back in time when we lost Aiden. She had the same look on her face then.

"I had an episode the other day and we went to the hospital. I guess it's a complicated surgery. There are a lot of risks."

Her jaw clenches and I can see her pulse pounding in her throat. It's hard to tell if she's more pissed or upset.

"Spence, this shouldn't be happening to you. God, this is so unfair."

This time I grab her and let her cry against me. It seems like we stand like this, clinging to each other, forever. We say our goodbyes and more tears before I slip out to where Ashley is waiting.

My wife is slumped against the window, her mouth open slightly as she sleeps fitfully. I hate to wake her but I'm too shaky to drive so as I slip in the car I brush some hair out of her face.

"Ash, wake up baby."

She mumbles incoherently and her eyes slowly flutter open.

"Spencer? I had a horrible dream."

Instantly her eyes get wet and she's looking at me to make it better but I know that her "nightmare" was very real; I'm living it.

X X X X X X X X X X

"So that's why Mommy has to go to the hospital for a few days. She's going to get better."

Her bright eyes turn sad as she takes in both Ashley and mine appearance. I'm sure we look beat and all around like crap. In fact Ashley is barely keeping it together. Every few seconds a shuddering, almost sob like, breath escapes her.

The worst thing is knowing how bad this hurts her. Her pain is way worse than anything I'm feeling.

"Mommy…"

Ripley's tiny hands cup my face and she kisses me on the forehead before burying her head in my chest. Now I'm openly crying as my little girl holds me and Ashley is quick to join us. The three of us huddle on our couch and hold each other.

The soft snores of my daughter convince me to get up and take her to bed. When I get up so does Ashley and she disappears into our room as I tuck Ripley in to bed.

"Goodnight baby girl. I love you so much."

My lips land quickly on her cheek and then I leave her door cracked open, just in case she has a nightmare.

Her eyes are broken as she looks up at me from the edge of our bed. My fingers thread through her hair as she rests her forehead against my stomach while grasping my hips.

"I can't lose you."

She chokes the words out and just squeezes my hips tighter as if she holds me tight enough it'll fix everything.

"You won't Ash, I'm not leaving you."

Her eyes are red and swollen when she looks up at me and I bend down to kiss her. We fall back on the bed and soon I'm lost in everything Ashley.

X X X X X X X X X X

One week. That was how long I "thought" about my options. So here I am in a icky hospital gown talking with my friends before they take me away.

"So then she hit him in the face. My baby the boxing champ."

Carmen laughs then as she stares adoringly at Madison. I'm surprised to see a slight blush cover Madison's cheeks and I'm so glad things are good for them.

"So she knocked him clean out? Dude that is so awesome!"

Glen high fives the Latina and then returns to my side, grabbing Kyla's hand at the same time. He's putting on such a brave face but I know this whole ordeal is killing him. He's already lost so much.

Becky is quiet in the corner as she clings to her husband. To say this tiny hospital room is crowded is an understatement but I don't mind, in fact I love it.

"I love you."

Ashley murmurs the words in my ear as everyone else talks amongst themselves. Her hazel eyes lock on my face and I see determination in her gaze. I know she'll get me through this, no matter the outcome of surgery.

"Love you more."

She smiles and it even almost reaches her eyes. It's the first real smile she's given me in days. It gives me hope.

"Ok everyone I'm going to have to ask you to clear out."

The intern is polite but he's eyeing my wife. Prick. Seriously, I'm in the freaking hospital and I can't get away from the people gawking at my wife, jeez.

Everyone gives me hug or kiss then I'm left with just Becky and Ashley. My best friend walks to the side of my bed slowly and her green eyes won't stay still.

She bends down close to my face and speaks roughly.

"I'll see you in a few hours. Don't try anything funny."

Becky plants a quick kiss to my forehead before leaving and seeing her go almost makes me start to cry again. Now all who's left is Ashley, my beautiful Ashley.

"I'll be back soon."

She strokes my cheek and smiles at my promise.

"You better."

She kisses me so hard it almost hurts but I know she's terrified so it doesn't bother me. Watching her walk away is one of the hardest things I've ever done.

They wheel me away and I mutter a quick pray as I feel the cold liquid shoot through my IV.

"Lord, please get me back to my wife safe and sound…"

Darkness overtakes me.

**I'm really sucking this up, sorry. Thanks to everyone for everything! **

**xoxo**


	35. Thank You

**I own no part of SON**

**Peace and love to all!**

**xoxo**

_I slowly open my eyes and regret it instantly when a harsh light blinds me. There's also an incessant beeping sound combined with mumbled voices. What in the hell is going on? When I try to move any part of my body I find that nothing is working. _

_I see an arm reach across me and I try to voice my concerns about not being able to move. All of a sudden the arm is holding a chainsaw and is coming at my head. I hear a grinding sound, see blood shoot from my head, and then… _

"AHHHHH!"

My whole body convulses and then two arms are trying to hold me still.

"Spencer, baby, calm down it's a bad dream. Shh sweetie. It's ok, I'm right here."

A wave of nausea hits me and I cling to my wife tighter. Ashley whispers against my head and rubs a comforting hand on my back.

It has been almost three months since my surgery and every night is the same. I have horrible dreams of surgery going wrong.

"A-Ashley, so sorry. I'm so sorry."

And here comes the same act we go through every night. I apologize for things I cannot control while she tells me everything will be ok and cries on me. After Ashley cries herself to sleep (still very swollen from pregnancy) I tip toe to the kitchen to try and regain some sort of perspective.

Nothing major went wrong with my surgery but there are gaps in my brain. Sometimes I get somewhere and forget why I'm there to begin with. Now I know everyone experiences these but my incidents occur daily and I can't ever jog my memory. I forget where the keys I'm holding in my hand are and my hands shake.

I get these are mild side effects so I tolerate them without complaint. It's the nightmares that cause the most strain. My pregnant wife gets barely enough sleep and I get no where near the sleep I need.

The digital numbers on the microwave blink 4 am at me and I groan in frustration. I've tried everything to sleep through a night. I've taken countless medicines, seen therapists, and several different alternatives that are uncomfortably bizarre.

I sit and watch the sun come up, a steaming cup of coffee in my hands. My fingers habitually trace the scar the runs from the top of my head to the back of my ear. My hair is shaggy and well on its way to growing all the way back. Ash thinks the shorter hair is sexy, I'm not so sure. And with one thought about Ashley I then start to worry about her.

God knows how much stress this whole thing has put her and the baby under.

As if on cue I feel two arms wrap around me from behind. The task is difficult for her with the swollen belly in-between our bodies.

"I love you so much Spencer."

She kisses my neck and then rests her forehead against my back.

"Ash, I'm trying so hard to get better." I turn to face her, "I want to be better for you."

"No," she cups my face, "you are perfect. We'll get past this. Now I have to pee and you're going to make me breakfast."

She gives me a wink before waddling to the bathroom. With the first crack of an egg I hear the pattering of tiny feet upstairs. Before I can even brace myself the love of my life is wrapped around my legs.

"Mommy! Gooooood morning!"

Ripley's enthusiasm makes me laugh and I scoop her up to place her on the counter.

"Baby girl," I kiss her forehead, "you hungry?"

Right as Ripley opens her mouth to reply I hear her.

"Hell yeah she's hungry and so are we!"

Becky strides into my kitchen with her son strapped to her with one of those baby pouches.

"Seriously you wear one of those?" Ashley asks as she lowers herself into a chair.

My best friend laughs, "Yes, yes I do and soon you'll be begging to borrow mine. Ashley you seriously look like you're going to explode."

Ashley rolls her eyes and I glare at Becky.

"Gee thanks Becky." The annoyance in Ashley's voice is clear.

"Anytime," Becky's attention turns to Ripley, "Rip, babe you're getting so big!"

The tiny brunette beams in appreciation before giving baby Christopher a gentle kiss. Ashley and I share a smile at Ripley's cuteness before I turn my attention back to the food I'm cooking.

"So uh Spencer, how are you doing?"

I know what Becky is really asking. She wants to know how the nightmares are going.

"Well," I give my worried looking daughter a smile, "I'm doing fine."

The look that Becky gives me shows that she knows better but she leaves the issue alone.

I'm flipping the bacon when I see the wince of pain flash across Ashley's face. My heart stops in my chest and I'm kneeling by her instantly.

"Baby, you ok?"

"Spence," she bites her lip and grips my shoulder; "the baby's coming."

My jaw hits the floor and I just stare into Ashley's eyes. Holy crap.

"What did you just say?"

My question is a whisper against the background noise of Becky and Ripley.

"Baby. Now." Her voice is rougher and laced with discomfort.

"Shit!" I yelp as I jump to my feet.

"Shit!" Mimics my daughter.

"Rip, no cussing. Becky pack it up we gotta get to the hospital!"

I grab Ashley's wrist and pull her to the car while Becky yells after me.

"You guys go ahead, no worries! I'll take care of Rip and meet you there!"

The drive to the hospital, a route I have memorized by now, takes only minutes but consists of a lot of groaning and yells. I can tell my wife is already in a lot of pain.

We get shipped to a private birthing room and the doctor is in and out before I can think straight. The nurse shoos me away to change into "proper birth gear"…honestly no such thing exists. They just wanted to get rid of the panicking person that is me.

Now I'm standing dressed head to toe in that ridiculous hospital gown crap and I'm holding the hand of my screaming wife.

"AHHHH! DAMN YOU SPENCER!"

I'm sorry I did not do this, in fact that would be a medical miracle if I did. Now doesn't seem like the time to correct her…

"Come on baby you are doing so good!"

My wide smile and encouraging words just seem to anger her more.

"Screw you Spencer! Owww!"

Thirty more minutes of screaming, sweating, and pain before I hear it. One sound snaps everything into perspective. It is a lone wail from the tiny bundle of a person wrapped in a blue blanket.

Our son's small cry makes my heart soar and my eyes water with happy tears. I kiss Ashley's sweat soaked forehead and do my best to wipe away her tears.

"Oh my God Ash, you did it."

My wonderful wife gives a burst of laughter and we both grin in anticipation of our son being brought to us.

The nurse hands him to my exhausted wife.

"Just so you two know, he is 7lbs 2oz and perfectly healthy. Congratulations."

The two of us beam at our little boy.

"So Spencer did you decide on a name?"

"I get to pick?" I look at her with disbelieving eyes, she just nods and smiles.

I cradle the small child and I can already feel so much love for the boy.

"Lucas."

Ashley grins before releasing a deep sigh. I watch as her eyes close and she drifts into a much deserved sleep. After putting Lucas back to bed I jog to the waiting room where the crew sits.

Everyone is here: Glen, Kyla and their children, Becky, Christian, Christopher, Madison, Carmen, Rip, and Ashley's parents. I look around at the people I love and start smiling uncontrollably.

"His name is Lucas," I pause and watch everyone start smiling, "and he's perfectly healthy!"

After the year we've all had this news makes everyone start cheering. Hugs, kisses, and tears are shared by all. In this moment I know everything will be ok, I know that no matter what I will always have these people.

X X X X X X X X X X

"LUCAS! RIPLEY! DOWN HERE NOW!"

I rub my forehead as I wait for my kids to come downstairs. Ashley's birthday dinner is in ten minutes and my dang children aren't even ready. Long gone are the days of cute pattering feet and now I hear the thundering of my teenage children.

An eighteen year old Ripley reaches me first, followed closely by the now fifteen year old Lucas.

"Absolutely not Rip. Go change."

Her shirt is way too low and the skirt is basically none existent.

"Mom! No way, what's wrong with this?"

Her eye roll and attitude are familiar. Not only because I get this from her every day but because she's just like Ashley was.

I arch an eyebrow and take my "mom stance" to show how serious I'm being.

"Ha! I told you she'd make you change!"

My brunette daughter slaps Lucas upside the head, making his shaggy blonde hair shake.

"That's it! You two knock it off. Tonight is about your mother. Ripley you have five minutes to change, now. Lucas, go get your mother."

The children disperse and I steady myself against the wall. Two teenage children can be so infuriating. But then there are moments when it's the best. Ripley just won homecoming queen at her school, Lucas made the basketball team, and both are on the honor roll at school; these moments make everything else worth while.

"What are you thinking about so hard?"

Her husky voice brings a smile to my face before I open my eyes to find Ashley standing in front of me. She looks the same but with more wear and tear. The lines on her face are testament to laughter and tears; Lord knows we've had our share of both.

"I'm thinking about how at 45 you've never looked better."

Her laugh is one of disbelief but truer words have never come out of my mouth. I kiss her and a sudden memory flashes into my mind…

_"Ok fine Spencer Carlin don't tell me but you and me," she points from her to me, "we are going to end up being really good friends. I can just feel it."_

_I must look absolutely shocked because she laughs openly at me, throwing her head back. I recover and find my voice._

_"Can I be completely honest with you?"_

_She seems pleased with me finally really speaking to her._

_"Sure I'm pretty confident I can handle it."_

_And for some reason I don't doubt that she can handle just about anything._

_"I don't really do friends or relationships. Becky only sticks around because I've known her so long and she's been through all my shit with me. Also you are without a doubt the strangest person I've ever met."_

_With my last comment a full blown grin finds its way on her face and her eyes seem to sparkle._

_"I think you'll end up finding me irresistible Ms. Carlin."_

I laugh into the kiss and she pulls away smiling.

"What?"

"You were right you know?"

She gives me this questioning smile.

"Right about what Spence?"

"I do find you irresistible and I always will."

We share a smile in remembrance and I feel nineteen all over again.

**THE END. **

**Thank you thank you thank you. This has been an amazing ride and I hope you are all satisfied with how it ended. I've loved writing this series and I hope you've enjoyed reading it. **


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